Unfortunately I'm on my second chance and was told last time if it happened again I was gone so not holding out much hope.
Only got myself to blame though, what an idiot I've been. Wish I'd come on this site 4 years ago and read some of the advice as I really wanted to stop last time.
However the main thing now is that the gambling finishes once and for all, and all my debts are coming down the way instead of going up. It may take years but I have to live with that. Life can only improve from there I hope as I can't go on the way I have been. In a way it's nice to read a story like yours Half Life. There is hope for us all.
Hi Proudarab, my mum is a also CG & I know that she loves me & my faults without question but it hasn't made her accept her problem/seek recovery! Addiction is with us for life, we just establish a way to live with it & simply being found out or being bailed out doesn't fix what pulls us towards it in the 1st place. This site is great but the way you feel now may not last & my advice would be to get yourself some counselling or to GA to increase your chances of sticking with it this time. I know you decided against proceeding with both options last time but could it be your wife was embarrassed for you & she coupled with addiction talked you out of the support you needed? I know I spent years convincing myself I didn't have a problem, that I could stop if I wanted but that was rubbish...As soon as I sought help, it clicked. I know very little about counselling but I understand that they work off what you tell them & offer solutions so you say you don't have a problem & they say ok, you don't have a problem but what about this & what about that? Then you in the grip of addiction only hear the 1st bit & off you go whoop whooping about being ok after all.
The daily fears are proof that you are hurting! Your wife may not be able to handle another round of deceit but no one deserves to live a life of tears. I can't see a counsellor convincing you you don't have a problem these days & getting to the root of the issue will help you move forwards - ODAAT
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