I'm a mother...need help!

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(@zbyq30whs5)
Posts: 3
Topic starter
 

Hi, I am new to this site. After 5 years of helping my son with his gambling addiction, I have reached the point of no return. I recently lost my husband (his dad) and feel so alone. 

This is not a new addiction for him but now I face the battle alone. Over 150k lost in the last 5 years and I have continuously supported him, bailed him out, offered therapy, stopped the money...you name it, I've tried it. 

Just looking to communicate with like minded people and finally lift the fog.

Wishing each and every one of you the best of luck with your journeys.

 
Posted : 10th March 2023 2:03 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 6150
Admin
 

Hi @Lal68,

Thank you for sharing your story with us on the forum today.

 

I can appreciate the difficulty you are experiencing having to support your son with his gambling whilst also struggling with the loss of your husband.

I would encourage you to get in contact with us so we can support you through this. We are available through our helpline on 0808 8020 133 as well as also being available on live chat, WhatsApp and Facebook.

Please do continue sharing your story with us on the forum. I hope you find it to be a positive space where you can be supported through this difficult time.

King Regards,

Forum Admin

George

 
Posted : 10th March 2023 4:22 pm
Thebean
(@thebean)
Posts: 304
 

@zbyq30whs5 really sorry you are going through this and for the passing away of your husband.  That is alot to go though.

The problem is no-one can conquer your son's gambling problem except him himself.  Family support is great but only he can actually do it.  Based on this, I would strongly advise you not to bail out your son or provide any help in the way of giving him money.   

I speak as a recovering gambler.

Is he proactive at all in giving up? Like excluding from Bookies, casinos and casino sites?  Would he be willing to give you 100% control of his finances?  If he is not then he clearly not ready to give up.

Don't neglect yourself in this ?

 
Posted : 10th March 2023 8:05 pm
(@dave101)
Posts: 367
 

Thebean summed it up pretty well imo. I am a recovering compulsive gambler and gave up my finances for years before I took them on board again 

 
Posted : 10th March 2023 8:49 pm
(@zbyq30whs5)
Posts: 3
Topic starter
 

@thebean hi!

Thanks for your reply.

Yes, he's absolutely desperate to stop. I've already taken over his finances but as you probably understand, he lies about so much. He never knows why he hasn't any money, needs money for food etc etc etc and knows that I won't stop him taking money for these reasons....although the reason he hasn't got the money for these things is more than likely because he's already gambled it.

It's the same story every month.. he gets paid, 'spends it all', is sorry and promises it won't happen again, I give him money to live and he vows to start again the next month. And the next month...you've guessed it...

He's taken out loans and credit cards and maxed them out. I'm from a banking background so am horrified at interest rates, so end up paying the off...again and again. I've lost count of the times he's promised it won't happen again and how sorry is but they're now just words.

2 weeks ago, I told him for the last time that I'm done and this time I mean it. I just can't do this anymore...

Thanks for reading... 

 
Posted : 10th March 2023 10:20 pm
(@zbyq30whs5)
Posts: 3
Topic starter
 

@forum-admin thank you. I spoke to Jane....the loveliest of people at Gamcare today.

 
Posted : 10th March 2023 10:22 pm
(@zbyq30whs5)
Posts: 3
Topic starter
 

@dave101 thank you. I've always worried that he may end up stealing or selling drugs to fund the habit but I can honestly say that right now, if that's what he decides to do, I can't carry that guilt.

Keep going...it WILL be soooo worth it!

 
Posted : 10th March 2023 10:25 pm

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