Hi, my names alyson, i have been gambling for about 10 yrs.I have spent thousands on online bingo and slots, I have got the most caring and loving partner who I have put through hell.some months I have spent all my wages and left us in dire straits.I am scared of losing him, he keeps forgiving me and I keep letting him down over again, I hate myself for it and I need to stop.I really need some advice, I just want a happy life, with a man i love to death, and I want my girls to have nice things.we struggle because of me, my girls don't deserve to do without because of me, any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Hi Ali
I really know the feeling about wanting the best for your children- there is nothing worse than that feeling after telling them they cant have that yet you have no problem spending hundreds more on a few minutes gambling!
Good for you thought that you posted on here and realise that you have a problem. Best thing you can do now is make sure that you put blockers on your computer so that you cannot get on to those websites and let your partner do it so that you dont know the passwords.
Also, if you can, hand over all cards etc.. to your partner and let them deal with finances for a while until you feel good enough to take control back.
It is not easy to stop gambling but if you reaslise that whats gone is gone and draw a line under it well things become easier. Forget all that went before- you cannot get that money back so your choice is simple- either carry on and lose more or stop now and start winning by keeping that money and spending more time with the kiddies. My biggest regret isnt the money I spent but the time I spent- all 11 years of it! before I stopped I spent a record 21 hours straight pressing spin online- i couldnt stop.
Win or lose I would still carry on regardless until I realised I cannot ever win because I cant stop. major breakthrough- whats the point?
Anyway treat this day as day 1 and start again. After only 27 days gamble free I already feel like a new woman and my kids already see a massive difference in my moods. Keep posting and we will all be here for you x keep strong x Linda
P.S. sorry for calling you Ali- I should have said Alison- force of habit as I have a friend called Ali x
Hi Alyson,
Welcome to the site. You are definitely not alone in what you are saying. Most people (myself included) have made our family and friends life's a total misery because of our addiction. Be totally honest with your partner and confess to all of gambling issues. Hand over control of your finances to him and just take a day at a time.
Since you were gambling on the internet, have you thought about putting blocks in place to stop you from using those sites? You can also self-exclude yourself and limit your access to money. All of these things will help you to resist the urges when you get them.
You will get lots of support and advice on here during your recovery. Stay strong and take it one day at a time.
You can do this and you will find that happy-go-lucky person again and your family will reep the rewards. It will just take some time and resolve on your part but can definitely be done.
Also try to go along to your local GA meeting which will help. I went to mine tonight and it is good to hear other peoples stories and for you to talk about yours.
Take care and all the best.
Mike
Not had a bet for 26 days.
Ali is fine, thanks guys.not gambled since Saturday, have told my partner and he said he will take control of finances until I feel in control, which will be a long while,it will take a few months until we are back on our feet financially, your advice is really great , nice to know I'm not alone. Just can't wait to be happy again, I will take it one day at a time, when we have money my partner will put bet filter on my works laptop, until we can do that, the lappie is staying in work, so the temptation isn't there, thanks again guys x
Hi Ali, hope your week is going ok and you have remained on track. Keep up the good work and take every day at a time.
Nearly 1 month for me now and I am starting to gain a lot of benefits from stopping my addiction.
Best regards
Mike
Good for you,glad it's going well.told my 17 yr old daughter yesterday thought she was old enough to understand, said stress causes a lot of it. Tonight she tells me she might be pregnant, Jesus can't be more stressed right now.but not going to gamble, writing it all on here to stop me doing it, a aargh.all the advice I'm getting on here is helping, so glad I joined
Hi Ali,
Hope all is well and you have remained bet free. More stress for you as well with your daughter telling you she may be pregnant. As you said, coming on the forum and downloading with others really helps with the terrible addition we have. You should join the 2014 challenge on the overcoming problem gambling page as there are a lot of new members helping each other and hopefully remaining bet free for 2014 and beyond.
Have a good week.
Mike
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