Well, I've finally done it, rang GAMCARE, I picked up the leaflet whilst doing the usual, sitting at a bookies playing roulette many months ago. I'd been doing this for many years and didn't really think that anyone could help me get out of the habit of gambling.
It started when I was 8, the age of space invaders and bell fruits, I was never very good at space invaders, so tried the slots, and won £1 from my very first 5p spin! possibly the worst thing that ever happened to me!!! I'm now 47, and have had a life of misery and debt due to gambling on slots, roulette and poker in every form at the amusements, bookies and casinos'...but as of Sunday 22nd, after blowing £3,200 on the friday night, I just thought, I can't do this without help. I've known for years I have a problem, but always denied that anyone could help me, 'they aren't there to drag me away' was my usual excuse to my wife of 27 years. Now I realise, no, you're not there, but you know what, I don't want to let anyone down anymore, including myself, the more I proclaim this to everyone, the more people I'd let down....and that's not what I do!
So people, any comments, advise, help, support or just a general pick up from anyone, is sometimes all, we all feel, is what we need to make and keep us strong against this infectious illness! I've lost possibly 100's of 1000's of £'s , I've cried like a baby, I've been suicidal, depressed, angry, ashamed, humiliated. I've lied, cheated and stolen to fund this evil habit. Things have got to change before it spirals completely out of control and I have made the first 3 steps. NO MORE EXCUSES! Yes, they make it so easy now, smart phones, on-line, bookies virtually everywhere, adverts, emails, facebook apps, but I'm taking steps NOW!
It ruined my father, the one true understanding person I could talk to about gambling. He lost everything, it made him Ill, and cost him his humility, reputation, respect, self asteem, and ultimately, his life and that's NOT going to happen to me.
Feel free to boost me up, I'm strong willed, but never too proud to accept any support in any form...so please, feel free!
THANKS PHIL! You've helped me start my life again!
Hi, firstly well done for riniging GamCare and setting the wheels in motion. I understand you're feeling of not being able to do it without help and this is why this site, the 2015 challenge, the counselling, forum and chatrooms are so great. People here care and are all willing you to stop.
I think you have a good source of motivation when you say that you dont want to let people down. More importantly though, good on you for not wanting to let you yourself down. You deserve better than to waste your time, enerygy, emotions and money. You deserve freedom from the torture of gambling and to be able to spend the money I am sure you workd hard for.
I too have felt so low, sick, numb, desperate, depressed, demotivated and absolute despair from gambling so please know, and take comfort from the fact, you are not alone and that it is possible to stop gambling. You can do it and you need to focus on all the reasons you want to stop. Plan for a future without betting, reward yourself for stopping and for the progress you make. Keep visiting the site, post how you feel and help others if you feel you can. Every day you dont gamble is a victory you should be proud of. And every nice thing you can buy can be put down to the fact that you are beating thebookies by not gambling.
You can do it. You honestly can. Keep at it
You appear determined Deanyboy.
May the gamble free days mount up for you and the urges subside.
I'm on Day 37 and feel as determined as i was at the start. You can be the same.
Best Wishes.
Keep going lad! Never look back. The past is gone the future is there so make those positive steps.
Hi Deanyboy, welcome to our 'heaven' 🙂
I have no idea how much I have squandered in the decades I have been punishing myself but I have done the remortgages, credit cards, inheritance, money from family manipulated for something else that I feel like I stole & that's just the financial side! I am so sorry to hear your father lost his life to this disease 🙁 I too have a gambling parent & even though we are not close, it's very hard to see what it has done & continues to do to her! You will find many people here who understand your story all too well & hopefully like me, you will quickly find a way to move forwards! I hate letting people down & with so many people watching over me on here, my day count quickly became more important to me than my gambling! Aside from a sole hypnosis session years ago, the 1st time I reached out for help, I got it & have not looked back since! Sites such as this have been instrumental in my recovery although I did surrender my finances to my wonderfully supportive OH in order to break my Time-Money-Location triangle which is vital in the early stages!
This is something you need to fight One Day At A Time! The early days are the hardest, retraining our stoopid little brains that they don't need something that causes so much destruction! Find something to do to keep busy (I have read thousands of posts) & you never know, you may actually find you once the fog starts to clear! I'm telling you, if I can do it, anyone can!
You can do this - ODAAT
Deanyboy, I started the same as you yesterday. And it's eye opening to think all the people on here are the same as you and me, and I just thought I was on my own!!! I'm not proud of what iv done, and my wife of 15 years and lovely daughter deserve better. Iv maxed out credit cards, loans, re-mortgaged the lot, and now I finally admit I NEED HELP! I have upset my wife too many times and let myself down, and as of yesterday, with a lot of hard work.... It's gotta stop. Iv got a meeting Sunday week with a councillor (break even) which was recommended to me but the helpful gamcare site. I don't know what to expect but any help is a step in the right direction. All the best in your battle, good days are gonna come back eventually, it's just going to be a hard journey that we are all about to take.
all the best
shamrock71
Thanks all....it's great to share our thoughts, actions we take, and possitivity.....I've feeling really great about this, really proud of myself and had a wonderful letter from my mother in law full of support. I think everyone has realised, for the very first time, I've actually asked and sought the help I need!!!! DAY 4!
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