Hi.
I'm 25 and I have had a problem with gambling since I turned 18. It started with small bets in the bookies and it spiralled out of control. Eventually leading onto live blackjack online. This is where in the last few years I have lost all of my money. I came clean to my family and everyone when I was 19 and went to the meetings but didn't really get taken too seriously because I was young. I still don't think back then I really wanted to stop and over the years this problem has got worse. This has ruined relationships, trust between me and my family and I have no close friends anymore. I have a mountain of debt that I have organised into a plan and I still have my job which is about the only good thing I have right now.
So this year, early summer time I met this amazing girl and for a while It stopped me completely. But somehow I got back into it and started where I left off. She booked and paid for me to go away with her for 12 days over Christmas and all I had to do was have my spending money which was easily possible with my December's wage. As you have probably guessed I lost everything. I came clean to her and my family again the week before I was suppose to go away. I have set up a plan with my dad to give him my money and he will pay we weekly and I will send him bank statements to prove I'm not gambling. She has said there is hope but she has gone away still and her male friend has paid my half to go with her. Seeing pictures of the 2 of them knowing that it should be me is killing me. I have been sending her messages but have been over doing it and now i dont think she wants to speak to me at all. Its like whenever I have it good, I purposely ruin it for myself. I had everything and now I feel like I have nothing. I have come home for the holidays but don't really know anyone so most days I'm just sat around. I am really struggling at the moment. I just want to be a normal person and because of gambling my life is going nowhere. Any advice would be very helpful.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I want to get this sorted this time and just getting it all out somewhere was something I needed to do. Thank you for your help.
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