The beast is back...
I'm at my wits end, last night I finally came clean to my wife that i've racked up £4000 of debts from gambling. I've been gambling on and off for about ten years, but recently it has become really bad, chasing loses, making bad decisions. One big win makes you think your untouchable and can pull them off all the time...it doesnt, it just lures you in to a false sense of security.
I've tried everything, hypnotherapy, counselling, bodies that work with bookies to stop you going in there by sending them a passport photo (although not one single bookie that I put on my list to be barred from has ever turned me away, a major floor in the system) so now this is my last chance, i'm hoping being able to come clean with myself and complete strangers will help.
I'm using this post to jot down all my thoughts and to express how I really feel, I dont want to lose her (she's the best wife a man could ask for) yet I continue to make stupid decisions and to feed this beast.
Today NEEDS to be the start of a new life
For me opening up was the hardest part. My wife dad and inlaws all know. I now feel so emotional so much more then last week.
It is only the start for so many debts that concern me more than the gambling.
I will stop the gambling but the debts will take years and years of pain also.
Stay strong
A
What are you going to do to actively prevent your access to cash and gambling and show your wife you mean what you say?
I’m handing over all my accounts to her, I will show her the only way I can, by demonstrating that she and the life we have means more to me than a quick fix horrendous addiction
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