It's so difficult HELP

I am a compulsive gamblers girlfriend, he's just coming up to his 1st year anniversay of no gambling so i think he is best placed to advise. When i read this he said you simply have to say to yourself that the money has gone and accept the fact you'll never get that money back. You have to look forward, even if it's just to the end of the day. My boyfriend gambled a huge amount of money so does understand your position, he is currently spending a large portion of his wages paying back the debt, our life plans are on hold for about 2 years because of this.

As a girlfriend watching the struggles you guys/girls go through don't beat yourself up about it, it's happened, you can't change it. Think about the gambling you're not doing and the money you're not wasting.

Keep your chin up.

Take care.

In the immortal words of Elsa, Let it go. It's awful I know but you can't let it eat away at you. I've lost tens of thousands over the years and for a long time I would think about what I could have done with the money. It doesn't help and only causes upset. Just focus on positive things in your life and keep moving forward. Every day you don't gamble is a victory. Keep going x

both replies here are perfect. the biggest enemy is what has gone by. ive lost a lot over the years. the more you think about it the worse it feels. what you have to concentrate on is moving forward with a stronger mental attitude. getting all the help you can professionally with the resources available and hopefully having the support and love from those closest to you. those people want the absolute best for you and want you to overcome the troubles of the past.

How do I stop myself feeling so upset?

To be honest my friend there is no immediate way to stop yourself feeling so upset because losing a large chunk of money that could have been spent on other things is upsetting. There is no fast track to getting past those feelings. Never the less it is hugely important to accept the losses have gone forever because the sooner you can meaningfully do this, the quicker the recovery will be (and the pain goes away).

One thing you can try to do is to visualize how you would feel if you had continued chasing your losses and got yourself into thousands of pounds of further debt as a result. Every day you do not gamble, is one day closer to recovering your debts and your happy life. Best of luck. 

Believe me I know your pain. Initially I thought I have only lost £3k but actually after self excluding I went through my bank statements and was in shock it’s actually in the region of over £4k. I guess I have been fooling myself from the start but the best thing I have ever done is self exclude from the sites I play. It’s hard dealing with the loss, I know it’s painful. But what I do is take it a day at a time and be proud of each day you are gamble free. I’m nearing 2 weeks and I do still think about it but you know what- I’ve never felt so free and have so much peace in my life. The highs and lows of gambling  were sickening..... Time is a great healer. For me I’m not quite there yet with getting rid of a pain, but everyday I wake up gamble free- is another beautiful and victorious day