I’ve failed and let everyone down

I see a lot of similarities to my own problems do you mine talking yo me about how you lose your money not bothered if don’t want to chin up fella start by taking it day by day 

Hi,

Tomorrow is a new day to which you can progress your recovery.

Firstly give stepchange debt charity a call and see what options are available to you regarding your finances. Its free and they are there to help.

Secondly look at steps to tackle the addiction. Attending GA and counselling provided by gamcare are some options.

Life does get better - takes time and effort to get there.

Best

Hi bear I don’t mind talking bout it I need to, it’s been so out of character and the whole thing is beating me with what I’ve done, I wake up today with a mind set to be better and change things, just scared it won’t be that easy and I’ve got a lot road bumps to come, I’m normally good with money but this has crippled me twice now and I’m so lost

Hi Rusty would you gamble on the machines horses or online. I found myself starting out really low at times on the roulette and having good fun but then 1 of your numbers not coming in for 6 or 7 spins you think next time it has to be the one so easy to press the double up button and before I new it gone out of control and once that happens nothing else in my life mattered until my numbers come in.

Hi, mine was online slots, I never have done what I have before and I couldn’t stop, I nearly won one of the big jackpots and just couldn’t stop losing until it had all gone, I lost all control and now really paying the price, never been in debt or struggled for money and now I have big worries all because of this mistake, I don’t know how to deal with the disappointment in myself and the hate I feel everyone looks at me like now, it’s tough and I’m slowly getting there, I work but that might stop in jan coz we dead, but I’m trying to stay positive and see a light now that I can get out of this and never do it again, this feeling and pain isn’t worth the stress, felt suicidal and really low, but thanks to guys on here and ppl around me, speaking to help and all of it is slowly helping me, I have to man up and start living again, this hurts a lot at the minute but it’s changeable and solveable down the line, I’m trying but feel like il fail and that’s tough 

Mine was that bad I hit one of the big jackpots and it was only to make me level for the day and the thing was I didn’t have a clue what was happening on them.        My gambling would b slots or roulette online horses or football or machines in bookies but I would not b bothered about anything else once I was trans fixed to winning money I get down and have sleepless nights thinking about the damage but that’s happened now name to change and think positive for my sake and my family’s sake 

Can I ask is it high thousands, have u put yaself in debt through it, I’m looking for someone who’s in the same boat and I feel negative and so destroyed by all of it, just don’t know if I can get through it, the light jus isn’t shining and I’ve never been in this position before

Hi

Each time I returned to my addictions and obsessions helped me understand what my emotional triggers were.

Each time I returned to my addictions and obsessions helped me understand that I was emotionally vulnerable and that in time and putting effort in to my recovery I would understand more about myself.

Nothing is achieved by beating our self up.

Nothing is achieved by living in the past.

The recovery program helped me understand how precious today is how precious my time is today.

No matter when our last bet was keep going to recovery meetings.

regards 

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Hi Rusty... just been reading your thoughts. Slots is my thing to. I relate to your thoughts... and yes its crazy how much we can lose in such a small amount of time. I also relate to your personality in the sense that am very hard on myself. Self forgiveness is not something ive ever been very good at. In some sense ive always tried to do recovery perfectly and ended up not doing it at all.

The thing is you haven't murdered anyone (at least i hope you haven't 🙂 )... you have just made a wrong choice and you can forgive yourself. Remember that everything about slots is designed to keep you playing. I did smile when I read the words "nearly won" the jackpot.... cos thats what keeps us playing.. the thought that the next spin will be the big one... but even if it was the big won... how long would that money last... if we are honest with ourselves?? ... the addictive is to risk and to being in action.. full stop.

Put some practical barriers in place if you havent already done so... especially signing up to gamstop... and move on.

Rusty I got a loan in 5 minutes for thousands and within a few weeks had won half the loan so instead of paying off the loan was walking about the big man having massive bets that’s when I blew loads in a day and hit the jackpot just to get level but the days after that I wasn’t so lucky because that’s all it is luck and that has left me where I am today but hopefully with a clear mind I can finally beat it 

It’s the same for me bear but I never got lucky, just lost and lost till all gone and debt to my eye balls, I sit at work trying to get my head round it and trying to find ways just to get myself out of it, the reality is tough because I can’t do it, I can not find the way out, I’m trying to put a brave face on and work hard, I know if I keep my job I can get through it with difficulty but I’m so lost and scared, never been in this position and it’s something I never want to do or go through again, just want to have my life back before all this happened

Hi Rusty87,

Thank you for supporting others on our forum and also sharing your situation. You seem to be comforted by others when you feel at a very low ebb. Remember that we are here on the helpline 0808 8020 133 and netline 24/7 , where you can talk to an adviser who will listen, support you and provide whatever practical help you need. We can also talk about treatment options. 

Take good care of yourself and keep posting.

Best wishes,

Fiona

Forum Admin 

Hi Rusty87,

I also wanted to mention that many of our callers will talk to someone they trust at work so they can get support at work as well   Your job should help keep you focused so you are right to think about keeping it. Putting on a brave face can take its toll on your energy and emotions. There is always a solution to debt but it is not always easy to see what it is, if your head is full of other things. So, keep talking and getting the support you deserve. 

Best Wishes,

Fiona 

Forum Admin 

My father always used to say  There is nothing that cannot be achieved if man want with all his heart and soul. I have been 523 days gamble free. I have achieved so much in those two years. But please be gentle. I know its hard not being hard on yourself but you need to get through the misery. And you need to know it will last for some time. But take it day by day. Be patient . Breath . Leave the money behind. Eat delicious food. Cook something nice. I have done many stupid things while gambling and never stopped until  I hit rock bottom. Work on your spiritual stamina so you have a purpose to hold on. Its not easy but its worth it.