Its a long story but I have gambled away at least £200k in the last 12/13 years, money that I have wasted and made me feel a complete failure!! I'm 45 with a roof over my head but with no assets left!!!
I have never earned a great salary but due to an inheritance and taking voluntary redundancy from a job i had been in for 19 yrs I had some money which I have wasted and I feel sick! I have never spoken to anyone about my problems as I have been so ashamed but I realise its a big part of the depression I suffer from!
It has taken me a few weeks from registering on this site to write something but the stories I have read make me realise I am not alone!
I guess I am lucky I still have a roof over my head and no debt but I have lost so much money that I could have used to make my kids and my life so much better. In reading some posts on here I realise that lots of people have got into so much debt and when I look at what I have bet i can't believe i'm not!!!
My real nemesis has been online roulette and FOBT in Betting shops, is it just me or is roulette like the 'crack C*****e' of the betting world!!
I'm not going to lie and say I always lost, I won big sometimes but over the longterm it has been like a slow death!! Convincing myself I will win and my run will keep going on too chase all my losses back!
The stupid thing is I like footy and horse racing bets but I very rarely bet over £25 on one of those bets but i would happily bet £25 per spin on roulette! I covered blocks of numbers normally 12 at a time but the times I have had 15-20 losing spins are unbelievable, losing hundreds of pounds at a time!!
What has brought me here were my actions last night, chasing losses!!! £200 into a popular betting sites european roulette, 16 spins covering 12 numbers, 2 wins. £200 gone in 7 mins!!! Another £200 in, same numbers, stake up, 11 spins, 1 win. £200 gone in 4 mins!!
Another £200 in, 14 spins, 4 wins down to £60 then 8 wins in 12 spins back to £380! Then 12 spins all lost!! Keep going thinking i can win, leave with £22. £578 gone in 23 mins!! In isolation not huge to some people but when it happens regularly a real killer!
Like I said before I did not always lose but it has been a slow death, drain on my life until I have no more money to lose!!! I'm writing this because I am lucky I'm not in debt, i have no assets but i'm not in debt. If I keep going I will be so I have to stop now, I feel a complete a failure as it is.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write my story although i could write so much more about the evils of gambling but i've waffled enough.
Well done on posting here. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
The first step would be to self exclude from all the sites you currently use and install some sort of block on your computer to stop you when you get any urges.
I am still fighting this myself and I'm sure others will be along soon with more helpful information than me but until then, stay strong.
Keep posting regularly, the support on here really is amazing!
TC
Hi Harris69n,
I didn't view your post as waffle. You said what you needed to say.
I've lost roughly the same as you spread over a longer time period of roughly 40 years. I've got some debts and I'll never pay them off barring a miracle. It would be horrible for you to fall into debt at this stage.so put the breaks on. Do not chase your losses it inevitably ends up in disaster. If I were you as well as the blocking gambling sites i'd look to find counselling via Gamcare. You could also attend your local GA meetings if you can.
I view the money I've lost as dead and gone. There is nothing in the world I can do to bring it back. I am at peace with myself on that score now.
With the help of this site I've managed to rack up 42 gambling free days and I'm determined never to gamble again. Now that I've been free of it for a while I don't get that many urges. Trouble is, it only needs one overwhelming urge to set a person down the wrong road again. That's why it's very much one day at a time for me and i have to be on my guard with no room for complacency.
You can beat this addiction if you are determined enough and have strong measures in place to prevent relapses. The benefits in terms of peace of mind and freedom to pursue other interests far outweigh the gut wrenching feelings of overwhelming sickness that losing brings.
Take Care Now.
Hi, trouble is you think you can win say maybe a grand or two, then it sucks your money up like a hoover, then you think 'nah, it's gotta pay out soon, surely', but most of the time it doesn't and before you know it bang, you've done what you set out to win. The funny thing is we know that's the thing that get's a new gambler additcted to gambling yet will still fall for it. You're not alone, i hate that feeling because it's like it can't be real, it's like it's mugging you for everything you got, truth is it is too, it would take your house if you let it and then maybe it will give you the garage back. You're not alone my friend, it's hard but it's time to call it a day because being in debt is one thing, being in debt and a gambler is really tough trying to get finance. Can i see your last 3/6 month bank statements? errr, no, they're full of hundereds/thousands of pounds gone missing. Where did this money go sir? errr, forget the loan, i take that as a no!
Started gambling again, I was £1300 up but lost all of that in 2 bad days!!! That £1300 had taken about a month to get and lost in 2 days! The £1200 lost on roulette in another 2 days so in 4 days I've lost over £2500!
Bloody stupid I know, for the 1st time in my life I'm in debt!! And I hate it!
I feel suicidal but I keep thinking to myself I will win but you will never win in the longterm!! I really am proof that online roulette/betting shop roulette is the 'crack C*****e' of the betting world.
I would never bet the amounts I can easily do in minutes on the Horses/Greyhounds or Football bets but the roulette gets you thinking the next number will win!! a run of 15 losing numbers later and your all out!!
I hate being this way!
Sorry you are suffering Harris
Is it time to start getting some help? Some counselling or group help? You could start by giving Gamcare a ring
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
