Ive reached out for help

Well done for being 5 years g/f shows u can do it, i have done 3 years myself and im looking at all the triggers sadly it very easy to get rapped back into the world of gambling i have been let down by people financially and have had personal tradgies which led me back into this torture and can easily be done, life full of twist and turns and as gambling addicts even if u have no interest of gambling it can always get u back one way or another i know full well due to my last relapse was caused by something which was out of my reach however i cant blame them no matter what happens in life we are still responsbile for out own actions as gambling never forgives a compulsive gamblier i can forgive ppl but not this industry ive made a hard stance against this its the only way to move forward

Hi Becky.

I am really saddened to hear to read of your relapse, but i think the problems you have faced recently would be massively triggering.

To answer your question about how to tell partners, i woke my partner at 3.30 am and opened up told everything and i will tell you why. She would without doubt found out anyway and me telling her prepared her for the bank statement or as always happened the bank ringing to queery unusual activity, i would like to think me telling her rather than finding out got me a little goodwill though the next 3 days of arguments and rows suggested otherwise. It was without doubt the best thing i could have done because the weight off my shoulders enabled me to give my all to tackling this addiction,she was supportive but in the right ways taking over finances and leaving me to get on with counselling and recovery. So as to your own dilemma, maybe show him your post above?, alternatively write it down explaining why you think you triggered, the need for you to be honest at this point , and wanting to be honest so you can begin to unravel your problems and work on getting better.

After the initial arguments with my own partner i suggested that as she was much better at handling finances maybe that should be the way forward dividing up things in our relationship that one of us was strong at and avoiding giving responsibility to either one of us if weren't so strong. I told her that this is now for life and not to ever trust me regarding cash and its worked really well for quite some time now. In the past seeing this as failure in myself really hurt me, but thinking logically you wouldn't ask  an alcoholic to organise the drinks for a party would you?, just made sense. 

You've obviously proved to him how good life can be when not gambling and you want to get back to that for the both of you, yeah write it down so you dont miss anything out. To be honest my mrs knew i was gambling it wasn't a shock at all.

Anyway best wishes , please post how it goes and stay in touch, you can do this you've done the practical stuff now you've got to have that hard conversation, be totally honest because if you dont its just going to resurface in the future.

Hi @fqyneax0vw

Your story is humbling and sobering.

I have complete empathy for you and wish you all the best in your recovery. Your partner will listen when you explain everything, he might be upset with your actions, However you need to be completely honest and explain the actions that built up to it and your motivation behind your relapse. Focus on what you can control not the unknown ?

Oranje