I am not new to attempting to quit gambling but i am new at taking it seriously.
Over the past two months i have gambled away approx 5k on on-line live casinos, playing cards.
I have always liked a gamble usually just the football on the weekend which i have always controlled as i just spend a few quid on an accumulator.
However over the past 8 years i have been into casino games too.
The first 5 / 6 years actually going to casinos and gambling all my money away. I banned myself from the casino officially but in its place on-line live casinos has been my problem.
I am on my 2nd marriage, my 1st one broke down but it wasn't due to gambling and gambling wasn't in my life back then.
On occasions in the past i have lost a lot of money and had to tell my current wife, on each occasion i have promised its the last and we have taken measures to prevent me spending money like that. Such as i do not have access to our joint bank account and my credit is pretty poor.
Lately however my credit has improved slightly and i managed to max out 2 credit cards through gambling and i have taken 3 payday loans this month to gamble. My wife is oblivious to this.
However the payday loans will need to be paid at the end of the month or at-least begin to be paid and i have no access to my wages to do this.
Now is the time i need to come clean and tell my wife and accept the consequences. After the last big time (18 months ago) she said she would leave should it happen again.
I have wanted to tell here for a few months what i had been doing but have never found the moment to, plus we have discovered we are expecting our 1st child in April.
Becoming a father for the 4th time soon is something i want passionately but am scared i have potentially lost it all, which is also why it has taken so long to attempt to come clean.
I have so much to say to my wife though, its just getting it across before she gets angry and potentially walks out.
Would writing it all down be good and let her read what i have to say?
She is in and out a lot working and we do not tend to see each-other until late in the evenings usually when she is all tired and certainly pregnancy emotions are now kicking in so there is never going to be a 'good time'.
Any suggestions?
Hello there, and welcome to the Forum.
It is important that you are honest with your wife and the sooner you come clean the better it is. I think you are the only one who knows what the best way of communicating with her would be.
However, it is also important that you deal with your addiction to gambling so you don’t end up back in the same place in the future. The financial issues you are facing are only the symptom of the problem.
It sounds like you are more determined than ever to stop and as you say it is not easy to do it on your own. I would suggest that you contact us on 0808 8020 133 and speak to an advisor to discuss the support there is available, which is also available to anyone around you who maybe affected. Alternatively, you can use the Netline:
http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline
The lines are open from 8am until midnight, 7 days a week.
Best wishes,
forumadmin
Hi mate your post is a mirror of mine in many ways and the 1st thing is coming on this site admitting you need help. Obviously coming clean to your wife is another important step as it only eats away at you and makes things worse. Another thing to consider is getting to a ga meeting near you which will help yourself as well as your wife in terms of doing everything you can to get the help you need for this illness/addiction. Understanding this addiction may help your wife and especially as you have a child on the way it's vital your wife has support too. I do hope you can be strong and not gambling again coming clean getting help and being strong will show you are fighting this addiction and you can beat this with all the help available.
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