Just lost £1500

Thank you for the reply. It's terrifying how you can gamble online so quickly, I would never go into a bookies and gamble like that. It's really scared me but I just need to get over the loss and not chase it. I'm hoping the guilt will go in a few weeks. I seriously need to watch myself and not let it get worse.

Abigail,

That could be the best £1,500 you ever spend, your greatest investment.

It's gone, you need to face into that, you need to accept that, if and when you can, you need to think about what you want from life, you have a choice to make.

For 20 years, I made a lot of bad choices, 306 days ago, I made a better one and I've made the same choice everyday since.

best wishes

That's a good way of looking at it. I've woken up today feeling awful, it's like a hangover in a way isn't it, I never want to feel this way again. I spent all night thinking about what else that money could have gone on, but you're right it's gone and I realised you can never win overall. I think I need to realise I have an addictive personality, I used to be a relatively big drinker but managed to stop that. Well done on 306 days, I suppose taking it one day at a time is the best thing to do. Thank you for your reply, it's nice to know there are people out there.

Hi Abigail download an online blocker, k9 or gamban, there are others. They block gambling sites. As others have said you will probably get emails etc to entice you back. If you stop now it will be fantastic. As you say look how much money you can lose in an instant. Money's gone don't chase it, you will never win it back.

Hi Abigail,

Welcome to the forum.

I totally understand the hangover analogy, I've felt that way many times. My advice is, whilst you're feeling the pain of the loss, use this as motivation to get real blocks in place. Self exclude from any exisiting accounts and, as Merry go round said, get some blocking software installed. If you are concerned about control then limit your access to money to. It is impossible to completely prevent access from gambling but we can make it sufficiently hard that we buy ourselves thinking time.

Do it now as, like a hangover, the pain will fade and the urges and feelings of 'maybe it wasn''t THAT bad' will creep back in.

Good luck, keep posting and make sure you read plenty on here, it's a great place to be and, all the time you're on the forum, you're not gambling 🙂

All the best

Phil

Yes it's also scary how fast that hangover feeling fades within a few weeks. As mentioned on many diaries it is a progressive disease. I remember thinking 50p spin was a lot of money and the most I would ever spin would be 1.00. As time went by I would think nothing or 4-5 pound spins. I am so fortunate that I didn't get into serious debt. It would have only been a matter of time, spaced out in the gambling chasing zone

All be it the money was hard to see lost, it is the best time to do something about it before it develops into full blow addiction. I only wish this had happened to me all those years ago, a lot of us here will have the experience of big wins initially and endlessley chasing and trying to better it but, as someone else has said, losing that could be one of the best things to happen especially having come on here and talked about it.

Katiecoo wrote: Yes it's also scary how fast that hangover feeling fades within a few weeks. As mentioned on many diaries it is a progressive disease. I remember thinking 50p spin was a lot of money and the most I would ever spin would be 1.00. As time went by I would think nothing or 4-5 pound spins. I am so fortunate that I didn't get into serious debt. It would have only been a matter of time, spaced out in the gambling chasing zone

Had the same problem. If I was playing anything other than £1 per stake it was a big amount, soon I was gambling £5 a spin then when I won I increased this further and soon £10 a stake became the "norm". Absolutely horrible addiction, most expensive addiction by far.

Thank you for all your replies. I think what was scary was that I ended up spinning £20 a time and the initial win went down very quickly. I was up £1500 at one point and didn't walk away, only a few weeks ago I would walk away with £5 and pleased with winning. It was serious money, enough for a fantastic holiday, all gone in a couple of hours. I just frightened myself as I didn't even enjoy it, I was just worrying when the money was going down, it didn't even cross my mind to cook myself an evening meal I was just in a zone. I understand your comments about how you forget how bad hangovers are and end up thinking 'one more time,' which is why I'm going to stay on this site and not let myself gamble again. I obviously can't control myself and the guilt of losing a months wages so easily will stay with me for a long time.

Just remember that gut feeling you have now, that sick to the pit of your stomach feeling. The fear and nausea you have. The panic and the realisation of whata you have done....remember it. When you get tempted to just stick a £100 into a new account, think back to the sick feeling that you had...and go do something else. Go for a walk outside, go to the park, go anywhere but the DEPOSIT button...Good luck.

Thank you, that's what I'm going to do. I can really understand how people chase losses and it's awful to lose, but I would lose even more and feel worse. This site is really helping any temptations to 'win it back.' At this stage I still have chance to put it behind me and not get into financial trouble, I just need to remember how it's made me feel sick with regret and I can't be trusted with any form of gambling.

Hi Abigail

I agree with all the great comments and advice. I would say that if you can talk to anyone close its another reality check and a way of giving you monitoring boundaries.

You will need to put that episode down to experience very quickly. That is online gambling! You dont see that in the adverts do you...the compulsion and the extinction gambling.

If you carry on gambling or act on the next bonus email you will lose more and more. Its not a get it back later scheme and its not an income scheme.

I feel you might need to keep talking it through. Its an urge that comes out of nowhere and the next time a bonus email comes or you feel a bit bored and lonely, you need to be sure that you have a strong enough mind and we recommend proper blocks

Ideally I would like that your family monitor you for a bit if that is posssible in your life. Its a deadly addiction and there is no room for half measures. If it got you this time you need to make sure you dont have the compulsive gambler in you.

You also need to firmly focus what gambling is all about and the only winners are the gambling sites who have calculated the percentage of punters money they are guaranteed. They are not your friends and they just want your money...stating the obvious some might say but a gamblers mind is clouded with escape and lucky leprechauns.

Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling. I win every day because I dont gamble

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi Abigail,

Well done for spotting the issue early on - as the advise from other , put this down to experience and move on- never think you are owed this money and you will get it back. I made that mistake and have been trying to chase that loss - am over 30k down over the last 3 years - the odd win will kick you in but the bigger losses will eventually take over your life. After now accepting that that money is gone, I can now move on - you’ve got the chance to do this early so would make sure you have the blocks and support in place now...

Hope that help and well done for taking the positive steps so far.

Hi joydivider, thanks for your message. I don't want to tell my partner at the moment, I'm so embarrassed and he's the sort that disagrees with 2p machines! I'm thinking and hoping I can keep it under control, I've watched the video in the other link and haven't gambled. I can completely see why people end up chasing money, to be honest I did think last night, I could try another £100 and try to recoup but I know I wouldn't, and if I did win I would lose as I'd be chasing them full amount lost. I know I've got the streak in me which is why I joined here but it's too hard earned to lose so quickly. I've forgiven myself a bit but I know I can't be trusted and will visit with site often.