K9 problems. Please help.

Hi,

You're not alone but you have to change things so that things change for you. Close all doors properly and try meetings.

My understanding is that K9 is ok on desktops but isn't great on smartphones. Must you really have an Internet phone? Using non Internet handset brick is a much more effective barrier, it helps my husband.

If you must have a smartphone, you can block the individual websites. Also use the parental controls from your internet provider - get someone else to set the password or see Shorty's thread, she's done this. And self exclude properly, Oldham has a thread about multiple SE.

Also look at limiting your access to money.

Hope you do what it takes to help you.

CW

K9 does not work on android. I think for android you can use gamblock I'm sur I have read you can get a free trail but it's normally a monthly charge. I don't think it's a huge amount around a fiver a month and let's be honest a fiver is spent in 10 secs in the gambling world so is a no brainier really.

I do see what CW is saying about not having a smart phone, I need one but have blocks in place to stop me using it to gamble on

Another alternative is to set parental controls on your broadband but make sure someone else sets the password.

KTF

Thanks for the advice. It's a Samsung tablet not a phone. Funnily enough I have no impulse to gamble on my smartphone (it never actually occurs to me). I cannot ask for a block on our home broadband as I have not disclosed my problem to my hubby. That is another story; he gambles himself. That causes a whole host of problems for me, as you can imagine.

I will consider Gamblock but when I had that on my laptop it prevented browsing on all sorts of innocuous sites; it was a real pain and the support were no help.

Recovery depends on honesty, it just doesn't work to go it alone and keep quiet. It works as well as it can when those around you, family and also friends, know and support effectively.

Why is your OH preventing your recovery? Could you both do recovery together? It's all too easy to let the addiction tell you that it would be impossible, thus clearing the way to continued gambling.

If your OH is really hindering your recovery, what are you going to do to change your situation? How do you expect to stop gambling when the triangle apparently can't be broken? How are you going to change your present betting culture to an environment of recovery? Being around like minded people is a really important tool.

Beating yourself up (your username?) doesn't help. Real changes do but only you can make them.

Wish you well,

CW

Thank you CW. You are a very straight talker and I understand what you are saying but it is a very complicated situation, as was acknowledged in my assessment for counselling. I have talked to hubby in the past and it got me nowhere. He does not think or admit that he has a problem with gambling. I cannot let him take over finances as he is worse than me: at least I make sure all bills are paid and nobody goes without.

I am very depressed and unhappy with life and know that I am an escape gambler I need to change my life but don't know where to start. I will start today by getting out on my bike in the lovely weather.

I will not gamble today.

Hi inuzbmad.

You need to bring on that counselling and discuss how unhappy you are with life. That is almost certainly a root cause.

I will be honest in that you are in a very difficult situation . People close to you are gambling so I can see how there will be little or no support if they dont think you have a problem or wont admit gambling is bad.

Ideally that gadget needs to be confiscated for a while but I can see how it would spoil all access to other things on the net.

Make no mistake that online gambling is the worst thing that ever happened to compulsive gamblers. In my mind you are mainly escape gambling all wrapped up with the other feelings of a spinning reel being good to you

I know the feeling. I used to get short changed by 50p and that would trigger it. I used to feel incredibly lonely/ hopeless and that would trigger it. Things happen in life but gambling is never the answer.

You need something in your life that gives you great enjoyment. Cycle to the countryside...have a lunch....do something other than sitting with that gadget.

You almost need time away but I can hardly suggest how you would find a long term abstinence environment.

Do keep phoning gamcare for a one to one. Book the doctors again if you feel like it

All the best...its going to be tougher but you can do it

Thank you very much Joy. You seem to really understand. I have been proactively opening all new sites today and immediately self excluded. Thankfully most said that the account was already blocked as they are linked to previous sites which I had excluded from.

Not so easy to walk out of the cage, especially if Mr Gamble is quite happy for you to stay put.

It doesn't help to have an OH who gambles but it doesn't follow that you have to accept his gambling. In that sense, you're in the same position as any other f&f and the choices are rock/hard place. Neither palatable but still choices.

But whatever sympathy or lack of it, you are in charge of your own destiny. Change comes from you.

Wish you well,

CW

I agree with everything you say CW. I hate the fact that OH gambles and maybe when I feel stronger I will be able to deal with it but for now I need to concentrate on my recovery. I cannot cope with the anger and resentment and regret I feel toward him so shut it away for now ( I blame him for introducing me to slots). In all other ways he is a really good man and I know he cares about me and loves me.

Felt really depressed today but felt better after a bike ride in the sunshine.

Here's to another day gamble free.

Yes I think you will beat it Imuzbmad because you talk sense and your heart is in the right place.

Only you know your family circumstances and what you are both losing. If you can it would be interesting to do an exercise in discussing what you and your husband may be losing on paper........if thats possible.

Gambling can never be described as rational or responsible behaviour. When it goes too far it fast becomes a dangerous problem.

You just have to keep focused that slots will just remove your money because the odds are one in hundreds or one in thousands of it paying off.

I know how it works. I ended up spending hundreds just to experience the bonus lights and sounds. The bonus has come up for me..It must come up for me! I needed that to come up and thats the addiction and illness. I realise now that I was in an almost hypnotic trance just to see three bonus symbols...the money didnt matter until later when I came to my senses.

I realise now that I wasnt on planet earth and my head was in the clouds.

The main thing now is that I feel so calm.

Keep posting and I wish you all the best with it

Thanks very much Joy, for your thoughts, support and encouragement.

Good day in work today but had moments of overwhelming regret and self loathing. Despite this I still had millisecond thoughts of wanting to gamble. Was able to brush them aside and tell myself how destructive that would be. Finding it really hard to let go of the losses but am able to accept that the future will be a lot better without the gambling.