Lost everything

Hi,

You must take serious steps in order to win back some trust. It may be attending GA, it may be attending counselling. It must show you are taking serious steps in dealing with your addiction to gambling.

Only you know how your OH's mind works. At present you are not flavour of the month but that can change.

Mrs Bal made me give up access to cards and cash for 9 months plus in order to arrest my addiction. 

If you want them back you have to prove yourself and take serious steps. Actions speak louder than words.

Best

I am prepared to do whatever it takes. Reached out to this helpline n forum, Iv emailed a marriage councillor for an appointment hopefully she’ll come with me n try n rebuild 

At the minute I am hated by the family n rightly so but I’ll do what it takes 

Iv also got a referral for councillor through gamcare hopefully helps 

Hi Simon,

Counselling does help, Gamcare arranged counselling for me too. There was quite a waiting list to see a counsellor in my area and it took about 6 weeks. Ain't no counsellor gonna stick a plaster on & say "There There There I'll make it better".  It doesn't work like that. Mine told me some home truths about myself i really didn't want to hear and massive changes in my life style were introduced,but what a wonderful lady. I was introduced to structure, hard effort and and a whole new mindset. She peeled away every inch of my character in order to understand what lay beneath & what changes needed to be made to change my obsession with gambling. It can be painful but for me it worked.

Best Wishes

AL

Thank you 

there is definitely underlying issues from childhood as my wife has too n past relationships so hopefully I can build slowly 

Hi Simon,

Gamcare is my saviour i gambled for over 40 years and this is a wonderful place. No matter what they offer from advice on self exclusion, to shop exclusion & counselling snatch their hands off if you're serious about stopping. If you have strong urges to gamble they have a helpline ( now 24 hours ). This place gives us an opportunity to change everything bad & destructive in our lives. No CG can conquer addiction on their own, believe me.

Best Wishes

AL

I can’t get any lower feeling so I’m looking forward to speaking with them to make me a better person all round as it’s caused me to be a very different person than when we met. I can honestly say I’m was very lucky when I met her. Hopefully there’s a way back 

I very much hope I can prove myself. It’s only when you lose everything you wished for that things come into perspective despite chances 

iv hurt a lot of people who are judging me on now n the hurt Iv caused my wife

You can change your habits. You cannot undone what has been done. But the question is can you prevent further damages? 8 k is not a big deal. What kind of wife is leaving her husband over 8 k. You.can learn from this.

Here we all have done  nasty things. But please remember that if you were not gambling that was not going to happen. The root is that. Gambling makes us lie., steal. Our perception has been changed. 

I have stolen, lied.. But that does not define us. We are humans after all we can get lost. 

The money can build up again  The important thing is to forgive yourself and move forward. Tell your wife how sorry you are. You have been consumed by gambling. 

We have all been at that low. Stay strong

The key thing is Iv took responsibility for my actions by speaking to the councillor, self exclusion from bookies and enrolled in anger management. I see my GP for medication and trying to think positive.

still lots of anger there from their family understandable but I’m determined to do the things I promised.

£8k is not a lot on the grand scheme but would have come in handy in our time of need 

Thats a good step. I am on medication for anxiety,  fear. Been on and off. But since my father passed away I am on again. I dont like the fact that I need the pills to deal with anxiety. Been gamble free for two years now. I think the anxiety was the cause I turned to gambling. I became vulnerable. But I have managed to get it out ofmy life. I have married since I stopped and have a wonderful daughter. I moved out of the UK. I can say I have much better life. You can do it

A lot of things have happened in a short space of time and carrying the burden of secrets, my wife’s on mental health problems and I lost 2 jobs in the space of 6 weeks (not gambling related) so the stress and pressure got too much and I cracked n lost my whole life in 5 minutes