Hi All,
I have been on this forum a few times, but this is the first main post from myself. I am 25, in over 25 grands worth of debt and lost the love of my life because of it. I am paying a grand back a month and am in a DMP to stop the pressure from creditors.
I have gambled since the age of 18 and it started just small bets on Saturday with the lads on the footy. Then it got larger amounts the more i earned. I started to see it as an opportunity to win money, and fast. This was when the problem started. I lost big time and then started the chase. Like i said at the start i am in over 25 grands worth of debt because of trying to win back money. It was, of course, a losing chase.
I was with the love of my life for over 8 years, and she knew a small portion of what was happening. I lied about everything to her about it. I turned into a horrible version of myself, where i didn't care, i was selfish, i was blind to the most important things in my life and before i knew it, it was too late.
How do i even start to forgive myself?
I am paying my debts back, and i don't feel the urge to gamble but i am struggling big time with guilt & regret.
I appreciate anyone who reads this and spends time responding.
Thanks,
Spage.
Hi Spage - feel your deep anguish. The way I overcame regret and guilt was to constantly reminding myself that I was very unwell when I was gambling. Your regret and guilt will be mixed in with the deep grief you are feeling and really would recommend you see a Gamcare Counsellor for this one. The positive thing that can come out of this is that you have been reshaped through this and will be stronger, wiser, more compassionate and amazing but it takes time. Personally listened to inspirational music and talks which really helped especially when my mind was going crazy with negative thinking. You will get to a good place. Take care.
Hi mate. If I could write down what I am that would be it. Same age. Debt. How we Started gambling. Thought process. The lot is an exact replica of my life. Unbelievable.
I hope you get it straightened out soon and maybe contact the ex for a coffee. Show and explain what your doing and how your feeling a better, older you. Hopefully works out mate.
Also can relate, similar age, starting age, and also almost lost someone I love due to gambling. My advice would be to keep active, surround yourself with as much positivity as you can, one can assume if your paying 1k a month back you have a reasonably well paid job, so focus on that, do overtime, try to better yourself, take up a new hobby, for me a starter going to the gym a lot, find something where you can continuously challenge yourself and see results and rewards, you have to have a positive mind set and not let the feelings of hurt and anger depreciate over time, slipping back into the gambling net, your in the position your in, you can't turn back time, but take it as a learning curve, a part of your life you perhaps had to get to and endure so that you could move onto the next, a stronger and better person, you never know what the future holds for you and your Mrs, if it's ment to be then maybe it's just ment to be. Good luck and and all the best.
Hi All,
Thanks for taking the time to comment..
I am trying to surround myself with positivity and going to the gym and working constantly which is helping I guess. It's the downtime when it is hardest. I have read so many people on here that have told their partners about the debt and they have supported them. I wish I had that!
Matt123456, how are you getting on with your debt situation? I hope you are staying positive through it all. The hardest thing for me is the betting adverts that are seemingly on to every 2 minutes!!! I wish I could get those banned!
Dontchase, thanks for your kind words. I am lucky that I have a good job to be able to pay it back a reasonable amount a month, but at the same time seeing that money go is hard to take.
Wish everyone good luck getting through this.
Spage
Mate, don't know if you caught the boxing (crolla) on Saturday. Every advert was gambling related. From odds of the fight to spinning slots and roulette. Couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I also haven't told parents about it so again we are the same here.
also hate too see the money go each month. Battered the overtime the psg few month but still nothing to show. Still can't believe what I have done and why I even did it. Can't believe I have wasted so much money on absolute c**P over the past 10 years. What came over me. Seriously.
You've got to look forwards and look at the positive steps you've taken.
Turn one addiction into another gambling for debt clearing and saving.
I had about 17k of debt and a decentish paid job. You don't need spare cash, so get it out of the way. Either by paying even more debt or putting it into a savings account you can't touch without giving notice and which doesn't have a debit/atm card
First thing on payday I did was put as much as possible towards my debt, leaving me with just enough for essentials and a small amount extra for the odd night out.
When looking at your debt reducing, be happy, not sad. Don't forget that money spent on debt clearance would have been gambled away no doubt, so it's win win, not lose lose. For every pound paid off, it's actually two pounds less than had you still been gambling.
As for the ex, why not speak to them and explain and show the steps you've taken. Even if it's not now, hopefully in the future if you continue what you've started, they may be willing to give it another go.
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