major relapse why oh why

Why oh why? I ask myself that over and over again. It makes no sense but that's why we are compulsive gamblers. We cannot control it, that's why we have to be proactive in managing our recovery. I am back after a painful relapse and still suffering from the guilt and remorse. Reading the posts on here give me hope.

Best wishes,

Andrea

Couldn't agree with you more Andrea. This addiction is so illogical. I still ask why the same way a person suffers from any other illness. Sometimes there is no reason. Sometimes it just is but there's always something I can do to make it a bit better

Welcome back Tri

Your right perhaps that's where my down fall lies instead of trying to find the reasons why may be I just need expect it and move on and find my own medicine for recovery x

Hi urbanksy,

Well done on 7 days,

You are not the only person to do this, your comments could of been written by me this evening. I have struggled and lost over 80K in 7-8 years on the same website, same 2-3 slots.

Won't spend money unless have to on anything else but have blown 80 K plus online. In debt management for 5-6 years due to gambling and still continued to find the funds to waste, not from banks or credit cards as due to a poor credit rating but taking funds from my company (business) to fund the habit, this year i have managed two three month periods where i did'nt gamble and became arrogant thinking i'd beat the habit. How wrong could i be, the last two weeks i have taken 7k from my the business account (only had £7400) that is owed to suppliers and the VAT in less than a fortnight. Got nothing left am in the s**t big time and will need to explain to my accountant.

Tonight however i have self excluded for 5 years from the only website (bookmaker) i have ever used. Chasing losses for 7-8 years have taken their toll, changed me as a person and ruined any chance of obtaining any credit or moving house etc. I have stolen from my company, maxed out my wife and i's joint bank account overdraft, spent lump some's of tax credits owed to my wife, stolen from my children's savings, not proud of what i've done but need to accept the losses and move on. It has taken 8 years to self exclude for 5 years, i was the expert at chasing losses but now i need to put all my efforts into making money and becoming my old self again.

Hope you can find a way to abstain for good, i hope i can.

Hey amt722 thanks for the support and the honest words and a insight to your life
It's nice to hear from people who understand what it's like to be drawn into the crazy madness of gambling
I feel for you I know to some extent what your going through
I have tried all different types of therapy but nothing as kept me away I have done GA I have taken all access to funds away but some how some way I still find a way to get funds to gamble
I have just read a book called all bets are off its a pretty awesome read in fact the author contacted me and wished me well in my recovery and gave me links to tons of support networks
You have done awesome to block yourself from that site and I hope like me you beat this once and for all and we get the biggest win we could ever wish for our life's back

Hi, every post has registered with me, i know what you're going through. You gamble, you get help and understand that what you do is wrong, not healthy, the lies, the sleepless nights, the gut pain, the stress, the anger, the regret, the monies gone....then we get paid and do it again, madness!

The urge to gamble will never go unless you become a monk and live a totally different life. Gambling is everywhere these days, you can't hide from it. To go over 2 years of no gambling is a major achievement, you did it once and can do it again. If you think everyone else is having great luck and winning then think again, most people are exactly the same as you/us. I know this is hard to take but if you'd won 20/30k it wouldn't matter, you dream now that you'd have banked it and your troubles would be over, it's not true, you'd never bank it, it's ammo cos it's never enough.

I read all the stories on here and if we counted up how much we've all gambled together i'd put it in the tens of millions, more than we all earn because a lot of it is loans when we've done our money. These companies are selling a dream and we fall for it. I was addicted to online slots, they're the worst, they suck money like a hoover when they don't payout, and most of the time when they do payout it's not to you, you always hear about others winning big. Just remember this and i'm saying this to you and me both, it's a lie, playing slots is a lie. Don't believe that voice in your head and find something else to do, you won't win big and even if you do it will go back with plenty more, i've been there and worn the t-shirt.

Don't believe the lie, it's lies, you're not boring, life is not boring with no gambling in it. The truth will set you free. Money will return with no gambling and hard work.

Great post orbits all true and I will be reading over that when even get slight urge, well done urbansky keep it up

hi all , thanks for the post i took a lot from that guys , im a CG and im flurting with the abyss , saved a bit , had good bonus and other income come in so got a grand up after bills , and after bought a holiday for me and young family and a new i phone but keeping £300 in my pocket just to flirt with FOTB , why im a CG its not going end well but i been in bookies 3 days in a row and i just know one of these days ill do it all , it was almost last night in cor**l and my last £60 won £350 and did walk but already im thinking i want another go , loose that do my saving i only gotta read other posts to know it happenc but i can,t stop then start withdawing on the bit of money i done well to save and should be for my gf and baby or just bloody save it for a rainy day as, cuz life is expensive and stressful always good to have a buffer but anyways just wanted to say , thanks for sharing your struggles and god help us x

Hi all,

I'm new and just looking over some of the posts on here and it's amazing how much we can all relate to eachothers feelings regarding Gambling.

urbanksy your comment about how you wouldn't spend 40 pound on a jumper but would throw money away on the slots hit me hardest. It was so unbelievably true. I find myself walking through super markets buying low quality food to save 20p then I will go home and put 50 pound on one black jack hand.... Horrible feeling and feels impossible to escape from.

Jay