Hi
i knew i was getting all my bonus with wages today .
good because car was getting repossed today, council tax overdue, car insurance cancelled, payday loans due, gas supplier scheduled to break in .
It was ok though, i had worked my a*s off and was due £4750 at midnight.
decided to self eclude from any online casinos i had used before and gamstop would my saviour. ironically couldnt verify me from details provided, webchat "do you know what the problem might be? " they asked me. then dropped chat. do it later i thought
couple of drinks , midnight, found a random casino i had never heard of Vegas Hero. popped in my details , blew the lot by 3.59.went to bed . at 4am an email from them saying " now its time for verification"
so no food , at all left as been skint since i did it last month , friend lent me food for my cats.
no bills paid , boss sent me home for crying in work and told me i was an idiot and should man up.
GOOD BITS
last time i had a big whole wages loss year and a half ago i tried to hang myself in caravan and was a lot of drama - company were supportive
by june my bills were paid and took my parents on holiday. year ago tomorrow so i have bounced back before
i am alive today and didnt do anything stupid this time so that moment has been and gone
car finance has two years to go any way,so i am technically losing nothing as its worth less than the balance , credit is shot anyway, so they can take it and queue behind everyone else for the shortfall - i can walk to work
i own a house outright that is lying empty ( i only use it on my day off) last 4 years - can prob rent it out
my staff caravan - rent and utilities come out my wages before i get them
my boss and best friend know now.
just need to work out what NEEDS to be paid this month
budget for food and basic living - blown every wage last 6 months and lived off tick in company shop, had enough to pay that almost so i dont get fired or get shop manager fired as stock take today- although tick has stopped due to new tills
going to see money advisor
dad will go mental but wouldnt see me starve so might lend me bare minimum to survive
so i will get through it but feeling pretty s**t today
Paul
Hello,
Thank you for sharing 🙂
I have never attempted to take my own life...the rest is painfully familiar. I have gambled all my wages in less than 24hours many times and the emptiness is like nothing else on this planet.
Gambling caused me to loose my home in June 2016, my dream home, 4 bedrooms, kitchen with an island etc. I had to move in with my grandparents with my 8 year old daughter, we lived in one room in thier house for many months. You would think the shame of this would have been enough...it wasnt.
Its the most harrowing thing to look back on but just this month I gambled 80% of my wages. (trust me my bills come to a lot more than 20% of my salary)
I suppose i am saying, you are not alone. And sometimes that can help... 🙂
Good luck with everything.
Hey Paul
I hope you manage to get some help at lest you have also mentioned the positives of whichthere are many.
I’m very new to all this so I’m sure that others will be able to give you better advice than what I can.
I’m also on basic rations until 19th June until I next get paid, for which the first time will go to my partner which is a relief to me. Im hoping, please god that will be the last wage I blow.
Good luck and keep us all updated
Thankyou for support.
I am not going to count my gambling free days as i get paid monthly . my bank account is empty and about to get the usual monthly bounced charges. i gave up fruit machines and lottery and scratch cards year plus ago. never been in a bookies in my life so its next payday i need to work towards not gambling. Gampstop now sent mesan the manual paeprwork by email to fill in and send back, seems tedious!. wish signing uip to gambling sites was the same as i only gamble after alcohol at last at night when money appears then not again - as i am skint by then. got email to pay £1500 car arrears or hand back today. so i think i will let it go rather than try and borrow for that
Priorities today
deal with car
go to council tax offcie and fess up.
i paid the last of 3k worth of historic council tax debt last month between sticking to payments and some embarrassing wage arresstments.really annoying i was clear and now two months behind
borrow money for food from someone. i have nothing in fridge or freezer, no tins, bread . milk, pasta or anything
all booze poored down sink - a bottle of vodka every night this week after work to copew with job
speak to dad. bailed me out before and i paid him back. ask for help with urgent bills and living.
work is the prob, very successfull, nighmare to manage me, but pays 50k a year so i have a chance,if i stop gambling to recover financially when i earnt 12k a year i was paid weekly and didnt gamble for 2 years.boss supportive but tough and losing patience.
budget rest of year, it worked before
had a scottish trust deed before for 5k worth of debt paid it three years then flunked , so time to speak to them again
cancel debit card , bank have been told and happy to repalce with cash card.
no overdraft credit cards , one payday loan on time with 200 to go. some lapsed ones with money owing £2000
today i owe family nothing
boss 735 pounds she lent me for bills before - not chasing as am on £5k bonus from her epersonally if i stay till december as i am her moneymaker.
£270 council tax
£1500 cara arrears
no contract phone
no mortgage . cant sell as if i leave job i would be homeless. but was gift from parents and promised dad would not borrow against it
car insurance arrears £300
friends businesses £300 for work done on car that i still owe
lets s ay a round £6k so i can sort this by december if i stop gambling
worth a try
gamstop froms sent by email - i only wish i had done it earlier, i knew i was going ro gamble pay away . i would be sitting today happy with bill paid
You seem to have a good plan in place! I need to do myself one tonight! (£80 to last until payday on 25th June) not good.
I have been abstinent before but this time I need real recovery! This site is a great support! Please keep us all up to date with what is going on! Take care
I suggest installing GamBan on your phone and laptop as this will stop you from accessing online sites. I am 13 days clear today and have only managed this after payday arriving and now still having money in the bank because of GamBan and not being able to go online. It has been my saviour xx
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