I have finally made the first step in admitting I have a problem. It’s always been around me but I’ve ignored it thinking it would disappear one day. Then last week after a few drinks I woke to realise I had wasted £xx on online gambling In 1 night. I’ve reached out and finally broke down my guard and admitted to myself and others I have a problem and I’m ready to move forward. At this point if I can’t make positive steps forward I stand to lose the things in my life that make me truly happy more than any spin could every do. So here I am it’s day 9 on no gambling I’m £xx in debt. For me this is the beginning of a new me
Good work.
Get blocks in place. Read around the forum.
Well done for being here and being honest.
Thanks for the support. Reading through a few of the links I get the feeling that I am in the same boat as you. I am fortunate enough not to have the money I have gambled affect my house while bills but if I hadn’t made a stand to control this now it would have crashed in front of me. The hardest part for me is dealing with the shame and guilt. Every day without gambling is a positive and I am becoming more optimistic that I am going to succeed.
It goes. Trust me.
I no longer feel that shame (140 days in) as I'm at peace with myself. I do look back and honestly don;t recognise the person i've been and that brings other feelings rather than guilt, but what can be gained by looking backwards too much.
Moving forward is key. What's done is done and the future is ours to make. God, that sounds cheesy....but it's absolutely true. How are things going? first few weeks are tough. stick at it.
Thanks for the kind words. The hardest part for me at the moment is visualising the future. I am trying to take each day as it comes but there’s a crippling feeling in me saying what if. I also wanted to know how you were coping without telling your partner. I have done he same as I don’t feel ready or that I am in a place where I have been dealing with this well enough to explain the situation as I would like too.
My wife caught me out years ago and i promised to stop.
After that I started to do things to try and stop me from gambling. One was a joint account.
In preparation for giving up (actually really giving up...and not the half arsed attempts i'd had before) I started to make sure the joint account statements were clean. i'd done this before in the 6 months leading to buying a house, although i'd still used creidt cards and withdrew cash.
Once statements were looking OK and just before new year i announced that i wouldn't gamble in any form for a year. It was like a challenge i'd set for myself and also opened the opportunity for any discussion. We havent really had that discussion and its more often than not me who says "i still haven't gambled all year and its XXX days". I tell friends and colleagues the same and its actually working as a support mechanism for me.
At the end of the year I'll tell everyone how its working for me and it will be a life choice not to gamble again.
I don't think I need to have any deeper discussions about it with anyone, but maybe I will in the future. I'm sure others would say I'm doing this wrong and I hope I've never been hypocritical by telling anyone they must tell others (I don't think I have?), but i'm certainly an advocate of getting the blocks right and always being positive. For now, this is working out just fine and I'm taking back control. Hope that's helpful?
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
