Hi all,
I hate gambling with a passion but some how I always feel drawn in to do it which is destroying my life. I hate the way I feel when I have done it, but some how it still doesn't stop me from doing it again. I am 23 and I am doing well for my self, own car and have a mortgage on my house, I do make sure all my bills are paid each month, but today for the first time ever I gambled awqy £100 of my bill money which I need. I know £100 is not alot but it is to say I am also in my over draft by 250 pound which I can't extend either. I just want to stop, I need to have the will power and determination to do so but I am really struggling. Feeling really down.
Hi, I was in the position you were a couple of years ago- I came on here and posted (a different email so not sure how to find it again) about how I would fix things and wouldn't tell anyone. It escalated until it was tens of thousands and until I had lied, borrowed and cheated money out of friends and family.
Get help now, tell someone if you can. This week I joined gamstop, downloaded Gamban, changed to Monzo bank as you can ban transactions for gambling. Do it all now to save yourself- you can do this before it becomes all the mortgage money. I told myself I'd never spend bill money and for a while, I didn't. But believe me; it only goes downhill.
For me, I might have lost my marriage but I know the steps I've taken are the only way to stop.
Good luck, you can do it!!
Hi all,
I hate gambling with a passion but some how I always feel drawn in to do it which is destroying my life. I hate the way I feel when I have done it, but some how it still doesn't stop me from doing it again. I am 23 and I am doing well for my self, own car and have a mortgage on my house, I do make sure all my bills are paid each month, but today for the first time ever I gambled awqy £100 of my bill money which I need. I know £100 is not alot but it is to say I am also in my over draft by 250 pound which I can't extend either. I just want to stop, I need to have the will power and determination to do so but I am really struggling. Feeling really down.
Hi
Step one I read that my life was unmanageable because of the Gambling addictions and obsessions and because of he lack of funds.
Then I understood that life life was unmanageable long before my addictions and obsessions took over.
For me the Gambling addictions and obsessions were only an indicator that I was emotionally vulnerable long before my addictions and obsessions.
Overt time I would become more and more emotionally detached from my Gambling addictions and obsessions, the reason I hated and resented the Gambling establishments for how I felt.
The simple fact was the Gambling establishments never made me do any thing I did not want to do.
The recovery program helps me heal, it helps me get more honest with myself, it helps me do certain things in a certain way which help me find a healthier life today.
The recovery program helped me do certain things in a certain way, abstain from unhealthy habits one day at a time, to hand over my finances to some one I can trust, to be more honest with myself, to open up in meetings, to write daily my needs my wants and my goals.
The recovery program helped me understand that a healthy recovery has nothing to do about luck my more about my healthy actions and my healthy words.
The more time and energy I put in to my recovery the sooner I stop causing myself pains and the sooner I mature and grow up, and then become a much healthy person day by day.
The recovery program helped me understand that a healthy recovery will take time and to be more tolerant and patient with in myself.
The recovery program helped me understand that honesty was a sign of strength, that facing my fears was a sign of strength, that admitting that I was emotionally vulnerable was a sign of strength.
The reference of strength and control may cause people some confusion, for me my control issues were fear based, control issues indicated that I had most certainly not accepted the serenity fully.
The simple fact I did not love myself was that healthy, I did not respect myself was that healthy, I did not value myself was that healthy, I did not trust myself was that healthy, if I valued myself I would not go back to my addictions and obsessions and cause myself self abuse and self destruction.
The recovery program helped me understand that to live for just for today was very important, it was important to open up more to move on from talking about being in action and give up talking about the past money lost, all the time I was talking bout the pains during my unhealthy actions I was not focusing on therapies and talking about how vulnerable I was today.
To set a healthy boundary has nothing to do about other people, for me to set a healthy boundary today has every thing to do about me starting to value myself.
To set a healthy boundary today is about me valuing myself and willing to speak out for myself from a place of peace.
Only once I start exchanging unhealthy habits in to healthy habits would my life become more productive in healthy ways.
There is nothing I can do or say that will change my past, the betrayals and lies can not be taken back, only once I accept that during my unhealthy periods I could not help myself become healthy.
The recovery program was going to ask me to do certain things in certain ways, the more I attend meetings my fears would drop, my trust would grow, I would move from telling sad war stories and talk more from the heart about today.
I like many people think that when I got married I was the only one that had emotional baggage, that I wanted to to blame every one and every thing for how I felt.
When I was in prison I did not feel responsible for my actions, when I was given speeding tickets I did not feel responsible for my actions, when I walked in to the recovery program I did not feel responsible for my actions.
No matter when our last bet it is very important to attend meetings, no matter if we have no money it is very important to attend meetings, no matter if we do not agree with other people it is very important to attend meetings.
I use to go past several meetings in London to go to a meeting where people gave deep honest therapies, they admitted to them self and the rooms that they still felt emotionally vulnerable.
The recovery program was very much mountain climbers who are tied together to find the healthiest and safest way through my life that day.
What is the point of talking about being in action, what is the point of talking about money lost it is gone, let go of it and move on with your life.
The recovery program was going to see myself as a rat in a wheel going faster and faster getting no where healthy.
To think that getting some thing for nothing was clever, to think that getting people to do things for me was clever, if I am getting people to do things for me I am cheating myself from being self sufficient.
With each lie and deception comes more fears, the more I expose my own vulnerability the stronger I become.
How much time and energy am I willing to invest in to my recovery today, the choice is mine today.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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