Hi, this is my first time on here, but not the first time i have gambled.
i started gambling two years ago after a friend was betting on football on his phone.
i thought i would try it so signed myself up on w**********l and placed a five pound bet. didnt win and thought nothing of it.
later that month, out of the blue, i put another 10er in the account and tried a slot.... i had more luck this time.
i won £750!!! from a £10er???? i told my girlfriend and we were so happy it would pay for our holiday!!!
It would have done but later that night after having celibratory drinks i reversed the withdraw and blew the lot.
ever since then i have been addicted. i dont even know how much money, all the payday loans i took out, my parents had helped me numerous times and my girlfriend has always stuck by me.
untill now, after every time ive had to break the news to my loved ones, after every time i put them under financial and mental stress,
i would always say never again, ive had so many chances, so lucky.
but for some reason i do it again, the last time was last week, £1500 in pay day loans blown on slots.... WHY DID I DO IT???? I NEVER WIN! my girlfriend has kicked me out and now living with my parents. my girlfriend wont speak to me untill i get help and writing this is like my first step.
in my mind i wouldnt dream of doing it again.... but ive thought that so many times???? its like i dont have control of my own mind.
This is my last chance of getting it right.
adam
Hi Adam,
I did reply to your other post, but have just seen this. Welcome to our motley crew. You seem determined to beat this and Gamcare is a great place to come to offload and get advice. There is a live chat each evening which appears to help new members considerably, you can also arrange free counselling via Gamcare. Remember, we have all been where you are, at our own rock bottom, it's an awful place to be and reading your post brings back so many awful memories, reversing withdrawals, payday loans etc, but that's exactly what they are now, memories. The fact that you have posted here for the first time means that there is something different about your frame of mind this time, you can get it right Adam, but need to take steps to make it happen be it Gamblers Anonymous or counselling or sheer willpower, find the path that's right for you.
I wish you the very best of luck, time to start living again.
Twinklyr
I have to say (like I always do) give GA meetings a try. Get the girlfriend to drop you off there and watch you walk through the door. At least she can see you are trying. In that room you'll meet all types of CGs. Give at least 2-3 meetings a go before deciding if they work for you or not.
This is the first post i have read and i cry for you as i do myself cos its heartbreaking that there are others going through what im going through .....i know how it feels
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Like we all have had to endure you may have just hit rock bottom. This is good. Nowhere to run too, nowhere to hide, no more lies to tell.
Recovery can happen and you must take it seriously in order for this to happen.
As suggested before GA meetings.
Gamcare can provide counselling sessions on a 121 basis.
If gambling online get a blocker put on the device.
Bookies etc self exclude
Can you pass control of finances to someone. I had no cash or cards for a long time. If i got money i provided receipts to the penny. Cards - get new ones and get someone to scratch the 3 digit code from them so you dont know what it is.
Gambling by smartphone - get a non internet model.
If you have debt you are struggling to pay contact Stepchange debt charity.
Willpower alone will not stop your addiction but some of the steps above can stop the urges when they happen.
The only way is up now and take things one day at a time. Your girlfriend will be hurting but although she is not speaking to you she has not disowned you.
You cant change your past but you can direct your future path.
Best wishes
eddie72 wrote:
This is the first post i have read and i cry for you as i do myself cos its heartbreaking that there are others going through what im going through .....i know how it feels
hi eddie, there are alot of other going through what we are, well done for joining here,
its really helping me and im sure a few reads of peoples stories will help you too!
i am trying to stay positive and get my life back on track.
although its early days i am feeling alot better after joining here.
wish you all the best
Hi Ajy I am the mother of a cg so am sad every time I read a story like yours. You can get into recovery and make a better life for yourself and your girlfriend. It sounds like you have supportive parents and girlfriend so you are very very lucky in that way. You now have to show them that you are serious about stopping. You need to hand your finances over to your parents or girlfriend who can give you money daily, yes it's not ideal but it is necessary and will work. Have you checked your credit score? You may not realise what damage you are doing to that with getting pay day loans etc. Join the chat rooms on here theyr on every night, read threads and join in on here, there is lots of support available. I really do wish you well it is going to be difficult for you but you can do it. Get your life back on track leave the gambling behind. - wcid
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