my shame

Hi

I joined the site only 5 days ago and I have admitted finally that I am an addictive gambler after nearly losing everything ..... I have read through people's posts and we are not the only ones who suffer from this horrible illness. 5 days so far and after peoples help on here and advice i will stick to it...

Good luck and the site is amazing 🙂

Hi Lizcc,

Firstly weldone for posting and welcome to the site.

This addiction is not selective it grabs hold of all kinds of people, especially intelligent ones. The logical intelligent person within, is frustrated over why can't I just stop surely it is that simple? Unfortunately it is not that simple. It is because the addiction is just a tool to mask the actual issues that we are hiding, running or escaping from. Even when we become aware of the reasons behind our behaviour it does not elliminate the addiction but only assists us to understand it initially.

Fighting the addiction becomes a daily battle and requires us to live in reality in order to make it through. Every difficulty every hurdel will present us with that possibility of returning to that dreaded addiction. Through time it does become easier to fight instead of surrendering. But recovery is a journey that takes us through hostile territory and although it can be scary once a certain level is achieved victory is in sight.

I wish you all the best use every tool availible to conqure the addiction, but most of all keep it real.

Take care,

just joined this site- twenty years too late. could tell everyone my story, however it is much the same as any other. I too am selfish and actualy cannot give a reason why i even gamble. I am scared that I cannot give up. My biggest problem with giving up is that it is zero days that last gambled and it seems such a long way away where I can say that I no longer gamble, i hate being the liar and manipulator that I am. I hate letting my family down and most of all I look at what I could have bought my children with the money that I have lost over the years and it breaks my heart. I wish I had a magic wand an could not be like this an "addict" but I have to ralise that it is exactly what I am and there is no magic wand. Any advice I can get from you all really woul be appreciated as I cannot liv my life like this anymore. Thanks.

Agree with zulu strongly.

You dont recover from an addiction by stopping using.
You recover by creating a new life with new coping strategies where it becomes easier not to use.
If you dont create this new life then all yhe factors that brought you to your addiction will eventually catch up with you again.

Abstinence is nice.
Recovery is awesome

Hi Matt1502,

When I read your post the word regret comes to mind. I think it is something we all expierience at the start of recovery. I also noticed how you want a quick fix in recovery, well let me be honest thats what got you started in gambling, is a quick solution. You need to keep it real, there is no quick fix and the first few days are the most difficult. There are no comparrisons and just because someone has quit for 5 years does not mean they do not have difficult days. You have to foccus on the positive and realise that achievements are subjective. Right now perhaps not gambling for one day is a great achievement in a weeks time when you have foccussed on each day a week becomes a great achievement. Slow down Matt, you are trying to achieve everything in one day and in my opinion a sure way to set yourself for disaster.

You have identified all the negative aspects gambling has created in your life. Now start to foccus on the positives in your life by not gambling. Each day you do not gamble these positives will accumulate as you redescover yourself and life in general. People you love and care about will soon see the difference in you and thats when you will be motivated even more.

Stop focussing on what you cannot do and start foccussing on what you can do. You can't take away all the losses they are gone. You can prevent further losses by self-excluding, blocking sites and getting help via GA, gamcare or both, keep comming on this site to get advise and sometimes just offload.

As I have said before no one can offer you a quick fix besides a drug dealer or a bookie. You have invested 20-years in gambling why not invest 20 hours today in not gambling. I wish you all the best and hope what I have said makes sense and helps you. Ultimately you have to be the one to make the decission there is plenty of support and people to help.

Take care,