My son is a compulsive gambler

Thankyou everyone. Got a dilema today. Son is down to his last £20 until Thursday. He has bought himself a jacket which I did say I would buy him for Christmas but wanted the receipt before giving him the money, he said he would buy it and for me to hold on to the money for the moment. Now what if he comes now and asks for the money for the jacket me knowing he is low on funds. What do I say?

My opinion...Stick to the deal! It matters not if he's low on funds or why he asked you to hold the money for the moment, if he can produce the receipt, that's his Christmas present sorted 🙂 I know it's hard but my other half being 'normal' around me is really good for me...When he starts acting 'crazy' (on top of my already crazy), it gets my back up & we don't communicate well!

Maybe even tell him you luv the jacket...My mum doesn't 'coo' anything very often but it's always reassuring to hear it!

Hi ,

Down to his 20 but has bought a jacket, bells ringing loud and clear to me.

As ODAAT says stick to your plan by wanting a receipt and also saying what a lovely jacket.

Keep strong Hun, I know it's hard,

Suzanne xxx

Advice: son is now overdrawn transactions have caught up. Jacket was £130 so if I give him that today he won't be charged bank charges. Do I offer the money like I want to or wait until he asks.

Ooo, tough one! If he knows you are on his account, maybe a gentle nudge? You're his mummy after all! Can you see he has spent the money on the jacket? If so, that's as good as a receipt!

Hi, WCID,

As suggested previously, insist on a receipt before paying and admire the jacket. But being overdrawn is his problem and his responsibility, not yours. If you rush in to pay without him asking, then you're taking responsibility for clearing up his mess. It's not healthy because he's an adult and responsible for himself.

Think of it like getting a toddler to help you tidy up the toys before bedtime. Of course you can do a better job of it but if the toddler meeds to help in order to learn what's expected of him.

Put yourself first.

CW

Yes I can see the purchase for the jacket. If he doesn't mention it by lunch time I will probably bring the subject up. Thankyou folks, have a good day.

Morning,

If it was me in your situation, I would wait for my son to say something, after all he is a grown man now and he should be responsible for his own account, if you approach him, he may think he can still lean on you financially.

He has bought the coat so that is positive news.

Suzanne X

Thanks everyone I've never really had to ask for advice regarding my three children before I'm usually the one fixing things for them!

Would you ask a Doctor if they were sick? This is just one of those things you're arming yourself with as much information as you can about, nothing to beat yourself up for! We've all reached out for a helping hand on here & got it, just like you are feeling it now hopefully 🙂

Well I held out from approaching the subject and son has just came and asked me if I would transfer money. I said yeah ok, looked at jacket, admired jacket. Had a bit of a laugh with him and his brother. His bank balance is not overdrawn now. I wanted to say 'don't be gambling that please' but I held the words in. Ahh well tomorrow is another day.

You did well to hold those words back I think I would have blurted out,don't spend it on gambling, to my son.

Suzanne xxx

Bank balance gone back down again! Comes home with me a beautiful bouquet of flowers! Didn't know if to laugh or cry.

recovery tends to be a seies of ups and downs. look after yourself and appreciate the good times and get support throughout

tri x

Can't watch this self destruction anymore. Boundaries are gonna be put in place tonight it's time to listen to some facts wether he likes it or not. It's for his own good.