My son is a compulsive gambler

Oh gee whizz this is a nightmare isn't it! Thankyou for answering my questions x

Last night - tried to talk to son last night he has been at his cousins all weekend, probably avoiding me. Simply asked if he was ready to talk, told him I knew his credit score, said I wanted to help. - all I got back was disrespect, says I'm not helping, he doesn't want me to talk to him! I said I havnt done anything wrong! - anyways he said something hurtful to which I left the room at that point. I know my son I know he is anxious and agitated about all of this why can't he just let me help. - husband came home noticed I was quiet, I left it for a while to tell him as I didn't want a scene. Husband really annoyed, 'how dare you speak to your mam like that, are you for real? The one person in this world who wants to help you and you shaft her' if it was up to me you could just go' -ouch!!!!! Gave him the talk of how he left home at 16 to join army. My husband is a good dad and husband but says it how it is, hes worked hard all of his life, loves me and will do anything I ask of him, even taking a loan out for son in his name! because I asked him to. He would never disrespect his parents. - Heard husband approach subject of gambling and money with him, husband can't have believed what he said, ' don't talk sh**e to me' husband says. - anyways that's what's happening now. Is it normal for me to pour me heart out on here? I feel like I'm betraying my son when I talk about him like this. - I am going to try and take a step back now, he knows how I feel, he knows I'm here to help, only hope he comes to me soon - take care everyone x -wcid x

Hi, WCID,

It's all so hard, trying to get sense out of an active CG. Remember that you and the rest of the family are important, your son's issues shouldn't take over.

Don't take out loans in your name or your husband's, you get no thanks and all you end up with is his debt in your name.

Take care,

CW

Morning everyone - has anybody had any success with hypnosis or alternative therapies to help stop gambling please. - wcid x

Sos can't help you there, have not tried anything like that,

To be honest, with me it was realising and accepting I am. CG, and wanting 100% to stop my madness:)

This wonderful forum has been a fantastic tool for me to stay in recovery, but I would not say no to anything if it helped.:))

Take care

Suzanne xxx

hi all , im doing my first of 10 councelling sessions tonight so will let you know if i get anything from it , dont think it hyponsis though ,would try that as is a illness of the brain and rational thinking so why not ?

Hi,

I was able to attend 12 free counselling sessions provided by Gamcare.

The sessions helped me to understand why I became a cg and at what point in my life did I change from an in control gambler to one who was completely out of control.

What happened to me as a person?. To me it felt someone cared, someone helped and someone could provide some answers as to why. The most important question of why

It's not for everyone but it helped and especially helped during the early stages. We also talked about barriers, situations and all sorts to prevent any relapse.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes

Thanks everyone my son seems to be responding to my husband more than me at the moment so he is going to suggest this to him. He is also going to tell him he wants his bank cards and he has to use the pre loaded cash card. Let's see if he agrees. - balvaird I wish my son could see how much I cared and would be by his side helping all I can. Hope he agrees to counselling but that would also mean admitting he is a compulsive gambler. - wcid x

Oh dear :/ hmmmm son came and asked me for his preloaded card today which had £500 on of his own money. I had gave it to my husband thankfully. Apparently he informs us he is going away for the night on Saturday and needs to pay the hotel room tonight to a mate. Hmmmm if you knew you were going away this weekend why have you been out at the weekend? 'Cos I wanted to' -husband. Ok, you can have card but I want your bank card. Son gives dad bank card. Son starts mouthing a bit, dad takes money out of own wallet gives son money for hotel, keeps prepaid card and also has the bank card says - you can have this at the weekend when you go you don't need it now! after son goes out dad says he won't be getting all of that either!! Oh sugar!!

Ask for receipts?

I posted on my diary about a podcast done by 5 live sport with matthew etherington and I thought you may find it useful so wanted to drop you a post. If you don't know he was a prem league footballer playing for tottenham, west ham and stoke. He was clearing into his bank over £40k a month but still managed to gamble so much he needed loan sharks and Stoke gave him lump sums upfront to pay his debts. His moment of clarity was an intervention by his family followed by GA meetings. He says he will need to attend those for the rest of his life. I thought it might give you another insight into the life of a compulsive gambler outside of a forum where you can actually hear some of the emotion. It was done about 3-4 years after the height of his gambling so he talks quite openly and it's not so raw. It might help it might not but thought worth a shout.

Oh Thankyou change I will have a look. Goes to show this addiction can rear its head in anyone's lives.

Better week for my son. Not had funds to gamble since Sunday. We have his bank cards which he isn't complaining about! He was paid nearly 24 hrs ago and bank balance is intact! He's agreed to having money on the prepaid card for this weekend. He must be feeling agitated at not having a gamble but well done to him. I've told him I'm proud of him today. Night everyone.

Well done wcid. I think you're doing an absolutely fantastic job.

Hi WCID,

Just had a read through your diary and felt compelled to comment.

Im 26 years old, started gambling properly at 18 and didn't realise i had a problem until i was 21/22. Had a brilliant upbringing, very supportive parents etc. My mum very much reminds me of you! Anyway, i have only gambled twice in the last 3 years so feel i can help, being a similar age to your son.

Firstly, sounds like you are doing a fantastic job and only have your sons best interests in mind. So well done you 🙂

However, as many people have probably said, its down to him to realise he has a problem and needs some help. This can be a difficult thing to admit at 25 years old but the sooner he does the better. I would also say paying off his car bills and loan payments isn't really helping him as you basically getting him out of a hole. I know you are only trying to help him but this isn't helping him learn his lesson, sometimes a bit of tough love can help. Maybe a suggestion for him is to speak online to a gamcare consultant? This is very informal and might help him to learn a bit more about the way he is gambling?