Hi
I started financial spreadbetting about 7-8 years ago. I worked for a gamblng firm and got caught up in the culture and excitement of it all.
I remember placing £200 into an account.After a few weeks that had turned into about £1500. I started to get confident and overbetting and blew the account but by then I was unknowingly hooked.
Over the next year I progressively drew down my savings to nothing which then led me on to the payday loans/credit card cycle. I was gambling constantly at work which led to me being made redundant. This is where things get really bad.
I got a new job as an accountant in a company. I had access to the bank account and started to dip into it as my salary was usually blown after the first few days of the month. Over the course of 18 months I am ashamed to say I stole large sum of money to feed my habit. (Looking back it seems like a dream, that surely is not the type of person I am?) I was sacked for gross misconduct and am still in the process of paying back the money now and will likely will be for the rest of my active years.
I am now reduced to living back with my mother at the age of 37.There is little prospect of me ever being a husband or father or having any kind of happiness in life. There are days when all I want to do is sleep and not wake up and just feel physically weighed down by the burden.
Mercifully I managed to find a new job as my previous company wanted to keep the whole wretched affair quiet. You would think I had learned my lesson but I am still gambling. It is at the stage now where I can't even say its fun; it just fills an emptiness inside me.
I want to stop. I want to try and salvage something from my life. I feel angry and bitter towards people who I feel have done me wrong and sometimes just post horrible things online under a fake profile as a relase. Then there are days when I am consumed by the guilt and shame of what I have become.
I am going to try and start posting on here and see if it helps. I want to stop gambling. I have to stop gambling. Maybe this will work.
Welcome
I am like you. Spreadbet financials. It's a killer. Money just disappears into a hole.
I read yesterday that 82% of traders lose.
Just take one day at a time and don't even look at the prices.
You are still young enough to rebuild your life.
Change your life so you have something better to offer a partner. Join a gym or sports club, going on a 'friendship' holiday (non romantic singles holiday)
Give yourself a purpose
Hi
Just hang in there. Never too late to rebuild your life & change it for the better. You have some positive things going for you, I'm guessing you have children, you have a job & you have people who care about you. Just take one day at a time, things will get better.
I'm new here too. Your not the only one fighting this battle, don't give up. Your worth more to people than money. One day at a time. Thats what am doing
Keep the head up my friend. It's never to late for any of us. I have only joined 2 days and I already feel stronger and have not thought much about gambling. I will log into my Gamcare account every morning and just the 'days since I last gambled' icon will be a great help never mind posting on the forum.
Together we can help each other.
Stay strong.
Regards, John
Hi
Thank you for all your kind words. Sunday has been horrible. Just been walking around feeling near-suicide - composing goodbye note in my head to my mum and brother.
Feeling a bit calmer now.
Hoping for a better Monday.
Man,
I don't know what to say. All I can say is that it's not as bad as you think. If you try your hardest to put your head down you can change and so can I and all of us. I know we can. I gave up smoking 23 months ago and have not broken yet. I am certain we can break this horrible habbit. I have wrote a list of hobbies that I will start to keep me busy. I have reorganised my activities so to avoid any triggers that will make me think about gambling. Try to write out a new schedule and list of hobbies that you can begin. Write out a financial plan and consider it weekly to make sure your on track.
The above is all the actions I have taken.
Oh, and probably most important...log on here every day. I think this could be the gamechanger that we need.
Regards, John
Hi wanttostartliving111
So sorry to see how down you are. It might benefit you to talk to someone about this, someone who doesn't know you. You would be very welcome to contact our freephone helpline or chat to an adviser 1:1 on the Netline. Details at the top of every page of this site.
Don't be alone with these feelings. Even in the middle of the night, there are sources of support such as the Samaritans on 116 123.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
Hi
Yes life does seem unmanageable in the early days but the one thing you have to do is to WANT to stop gambling in order for our lives to become better and more manageable. I felt in an awful place some 3 1/2 months ago when my wife found everything out yet again, after a lot of hard work, councilling session, attending GA meetings and being open and talking to people including my wife I am now back living with my family which is absolutely great as living on my own for that period felt awful and some I never want to do again !! Even though I have only being GF for a short period of time, life feels so much better when gambling is not in my life albeit i only take each day as it comes and don't look to far into the future !! Give the helpline a ring as they will support and direct you to some councilling maybe and hopefully you can get on that road to a gamble free life which we all strive for !
"It's good to talk and take it one day at a time"
All the Best
Darren
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