Hi I'm not usually good at stuff like this I am very stubborn and won't ask for help.
I've been gambling heavily for the past 3 years before that I use to bet the odd fiver here and there.Â
I have been married for 9 years happily and have 3 beautiful children.Â
3 weeks ago my wife asked to see my credit file as we were applying for another mortgage on a new house I tried to put her off it for a while but she saw everything all the loans from payday to normal over 50 of them ranging from 7 grand to 500 quid.
Obviously she felt betrayed and cheated she asked me why I took so many loans in a short space of time probably about 15 grand over 2 years. I admitted I was gambling with loans as well as my wages.
I get a very good wage and paid weekly I keep maybe 30% of my wage weekly to gamble with and never told my wife. I use to edit my wage slips every week and show her she had no idea what wage I was getting over 3 years.
I'm shaking even writing this because I feel so ashamed I couldn't explain to my wife why I took the loans I was just greedy chasing and chasing. Be it sports football bets to horse racing to slot machine.Â
I blamed it on the factory and shift culture but that's a lie. I work shifts and was betting my wages during a night shift on sports I had no idea about just for a rush. Don't get me wrong I won a lot but it wasn't enough I just gamble my winnings.
I'm not in debt thank god all my loans were paid start of the year and I havent had a bet for 3 weeks the time my wife found out.
She asked me my mood swings over the past few years was that because of gambling and it was I was snappy at my kids when I lost etc its horrible.
I havent struggled yet but do feel tired and irritated a lot of the times I'm just hoping it gets better.
All her family know and I've apologised to them as well as my wife. I havent told my family I'm not ready yet.
If any of you guys could give me advice or tips going forward I want to win my wife back as we arnt the same she won't look at me.Â
My wages go to her now and have banned myself off every website etc.Â
Since I've stopped gambling I do feel a lot better no stressing or constantly on my phone hiding it while I bet all day. It's a terrible thing gambling and I've seen it destroy many people in my work.
Thanks for listening.
I think you have done so well...yeah of course betting all that money was wrong but you managed to pay back all the money & you accept you have a problem. It will take your wife time to learn to trust you again but giving her control of the finances was a step in the right direction. I would say just keep showing her how much she & your family mean to you. From now on be honest with her. If you get the urge to bet again, ring the support line or talk to your wife.
Good luck!
Hi Kingylfc,
It's almost 5 years since I've had a bet and I won't lie it hasn't been easy, however it just takes time.
I admitted I was in more than £60k debt and am still paying this off for another 6 years yet, however I'm so lucky that my wife and children are still with me.  We weren't the same for a long time and although still together it has probably never been the way it was before, but then why would it be after all the lies.
Just give it time and the only thing you can do is follow through on your promises not to gamble again. Â I went to GA for a couple of years and found it a great help, although I know it doesn't work for everyone.
All the best
P
Hi mate. Echoing other repliers on here, you have done really well. The day your mrs found out was; the worst day but the best day in disguise for you. May not seem it now as it’s still fresh but believe me you will be glad it’s happened this way. You will find as time goes on you will have more control over aspects of your life and ultimately have more time. The time and money spent on gambling has gone now, but it’s never too late to start enjoying what you missed. Good Luck and please keep us posted on progress. Great forum and really good community of people on here to give you honest advice
Sounds like you've caught it early King. That £15k is gone for good, but you have your family & future - enjoy them 🙂
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