Hi all,
I have been reading this forum for some time after finally admitting I had a problem but I have now decided enough is enough and am almost 24hrs without gambling.
I need my life back as I can't go on like this. I am now 31 and should be enjoying life having recently got married but the sneaking about, low moods, anxiety, feeling sick, panic attacks, remorse and depression have finally become too much to handle and I have come to realise that the only person that can change this is me.
I have self-excluded from all the online sites and have kept myself busy today doing the housework. I have a counselling session arranged for next Thursday so I am determined to make it through next week - I am thinking that 7 days is nothing compared to 7 years of serious gambling.
Thanks to everyone who posts on here, it has helped me take my first steps to recovery and getting my life back
Welcome aboard
Your description of the sneaking around is spot on as are the emotions.
Gambling is no longer fun. It is not a necessity in our lives, and we have the right to choose to not gamble again.
You have made the right decision to look for help, do not give up. It will be a tough ride, but it doesn't take long for you become a happier, more attentive husband
Keep us updated on your progress
Hello Itsme
Welcome to the forum. After several years of trial and error this is what I have learnt. There can be no half measures when it comes to overcoming this self deceptive and destructive behaviour of ours. The first step has to be recognizing the rip off and rigged nature of the gambling systems and the extensive damage we do by getting sucked into it. Immediate next steps should full and total blocks - exclusions to not just sites but access to any funds, passwords, etc and living on daily allowance until our gambling mind gets healed. This time can and should last for several years while we uncover the real causes of our gambling behaviour through counselling, reflection, etc
We should allow no room for self pity and be strict with ourselves regarding any gambling thoughts. Urges will come and that is why blocks should be in place.
When I last gambled, I could just see the naked lies we were caught up in. All of this stuff is rigged against us and we are just being preyed upon and ripped off. The whole package is so deceptively presented to us that we get misled. Ever wondered why people who work there - the croupiers, managers, etc why they put in hard shifts instead of gambling? Because they know all this stuff is rigged and a rip off. Even then I think we should own our mistakes. Because we let ourselves get deluded and refuse to accept the pain of losing our hard earned money that we will have to slog hard to repay. This is what took me back again and again to gambling as I did not like the idea of slogging hard to repay my losses. Unfortunately thd system is so rigged that repayment through the hard way is the only way out. And perhaps staying GF and hardwork is not such a bad thing as 1) It makes us wiser and better in the end 2) It prevents losing even more and not just money but relationships, time and respect 3) It gives us peace of mind compared to the constant stress, tension accompanying a silly ball falling somewhere on the wheel we have no control over.
Therefore, despite the obvious unpleasantness, remaining GF is the best option. Time to time strong urges will keep coming and that is where blocks will help. I have also decided to view any gambling related thoughts (that try to tell me gambling will get back my money or is a nice escape) or any related emotions as utter rubbish to be put ejected out of my mind totally and immediately.
We have to be firm and strict with ourselves regarding this and not allow our gambling mind any credence or space at all. We have suffered enough from our its deception. Good wishes to you mate!
Excellent post shattered79
Hi Itsme123,
A warm welcome to the forum, and thanks very much for post.
It’s good you’ve come to the realisation that gambling is not a thing for you, and you’re now taking the needed steps to do something about your gambling problem.
I’m also glad that our forum has provided you this platform, and enabled you to share your story. Well done, and that is a step in the right direction.
It’s also nice to see the numerous support being offered to you by fellow forum members, and useful ideas too.
I’ll encourage you to try your best to attend all your counselling sessions; giving your full commitment to it, and also to follow up with advice on strategies that’s given by our advisers too.
You sound determined, and your thoughts now seems rather positive, which hopefully, will lead you to make the right changes in your life, and to move on as a gamble free person. It’s doable, and you can do it, Itsme123!
I hope you’d continue to read from our forum, and attend some of chats when possible.
Please keep up the good work, and keep posting!
Kind regards,
Beatrice
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