Nearly a month gamble free

Morning c17ort

I am a newbie on day 5 gf, I am 34 and love my football too, sounds like we were in the same boat, I felt majority of the time I was in control of my football bets but win or lose I'd head straight to blackjack. 

Since all my confessions I feel so much better but just like yourself I feel the hardest thing to overcome will be the football.

As you stated tho we must stay strong. 

Congratulations on your gf time and I wish you all the best. 

Deano

Morning Deano, 

thanks for the message. It’s a massive struggle mate it really is!! I had placed small footy bets (£5 a week) since being a teenager, so 15-20 years without any worry or feeling to gamble heavily as I was so good with money. 
I am still not sure what triggered my gambling problem, the only thing I can put it down to was falling out with my daughters Mum & it triggered some kind of addition inside....who knows. 
Lockdown has been awful for me, I have probably lost 30k this year as I started playing roulette & blackjack as footy was cancelled for a few months. 
All I know is that I must beat this or I will be homeless. It’s as simple as that. 

I understand I really do, I would quite comfortably put £20 in for weekend football once again exactly same as you since about 15 until now.

I understand what you mean by what triggered it, who can we blame but without sounding too nasty and I do apologise if it comes across wrong but we can only blame ourselves. In my case, my brain triggered to place that bet, go online casino and whilst I was in that place I had no control or thought for others. I've broke promises, lied and been discreet. 

I have a lil boy from a broken relationship, I am now married and have another little one to look after. 

You've done so well and gone longer than myself and you need to stick too it, I don't only have the fear of losing what I have but the fear of losing myself!!

As I previously stated I opened up and stopped 5 days ago and I feel like a new man already, the old Deano is back. 

Do you feel the same within your month of stopping?? I hope you do.

I'm always here to chat if need be and praying you're not a Millwall, Tottenham, West ham or arsenal fan, there's only 1 team in London and that's the mighty Chelsea ?

Stay strong

Deano

@c17ort Firstly congrats on the month.

If you are struggling with not placing a football bet, have you considered not watching the football for a while? Maybe try it for a month to see if that takes away the urge? 

Chris.

I have a daughter & that is what I need to think off to get me through this. 

I am a Leicester fan ?

Yep the kids are what we need to focus on and not let this addiction ruin that. 

Chris is right too, I asked a kind gentleman on the live chat yesterday after 840 days gamble free on sports betting did he ever struggle to watch the sports he loved due to I thought about cancelling my sky sports, he said it was hard but he started to watch it with his wife and if it did ever cross his mind he would look the other side of the room and remember what he was doing this for. 

I am going to give it a month or 2 trying to watch the game that I love so much but if I struggle I will follow Chris's advice and stop watching it for a while!

You seem like myself and really want this so keep going mate. 

Leicester I can accept, class team and really nice fans the ones that I have met. 

We have got to keep battling through or it will carry on to take over us. 
It created anxiety for me, mood swings, feeling distant & unassociated with everything around me. That’s the things that have made me feel more human again since quitting, it slowly brings you back to the good person you remember. 

Sometimes you can read someone’s story on here & think....god I am glad I am not in as deep with them with 100k of debt like me. But someone is better than us & someone is also a lot worse than us. So if you can get anything out of it...think that you aren’t in as much debt as me & you have now a chance to save yourself from destroying your life & having nothing left. 

Take one day at a time mate & believe me, soon you will be right where you want to be with your life 

Appreciate the support, I keep saying it and will again now, everyone on here, the stories, the rehabilitation and the support is spot on. 

We are all in the same boat and have to keep paddling together!! 

Keep in contact mate & let me know how you are getting on. If you are having a bad day make sure you reach out 

Great new and my best advice is that its less about counting the days and more about the realisation that you can never be complacent again for the rest of your life.

Use the time to talk it through with people close. You are not an island. You need blocks and a connection with people to monitor you

I think you will find that you didnt really enjoy it. If you look at the total loss and are honest about the stress and cold sweat chasing gambling brings on... true enjoyment really isnt a factor as its an escape from life and drug you were hooked on...more like shooting yourself in the vein cos you crave it then throwing up your guts

Look at the result of something highly additive and extremely harmful...you were hooked on an urge...on a delusion...you didnt really have the time or the healthy mindset to enjoy it

Plenty of better things to be doing. Time with a loving partner and the simple pleasures in life are better than you think.

I dont miss gambling. Ive lost the price of a small house...what income scheme and fun was that then!?

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Hi joydivider

Appreciate the reply, 

I'm new to this and want to get better, counting days for me makes me more determined and focused on not being complacent at this present stage, maybe that will change once I get further down the road to recovery like yourself.

Looking back now and believe I said it in previous messages I now know I didn't enjoy it and since making the big step to gamcare I've realised I need to do better things with my time and money.

Appreciate the advice, 

Hope you're doing well. 

Deano

Nice One Deano.

In a proper recovery the mind goes through healing steps which are actually milestones. Go through the stages...the emotions will flow and the confusion lifts as you go on. There will be stages of What?...Why?. Really?..How?..If Only?......some angst and even anger at the situation which you have to control with focus. You use them as positives to question everything

It is a cold turkey process but it does not have to be too hard with the right mindset.

Gradually you start facing yourself and the depths of who you are...not a bad thing because reality is the basis of what you can build on. This is where counselling and talking to loved ones plays a strong role because there is no shame in asking people who they think you are and what your qualities are.

There is no shame in seeking counselling...speaking to people you respect and trust is a form of counselling

Its an old cliche but Time is a great healer backed up by healthy reality checks and positive loving support.

Make a point of doing the exercises. Talk through a gambling session from your earliest thoughts of doing it to the conclusion. The reactions are reality and help adjust or heal the mind . There was no way I could make a story of my gambling sessions seem normal. I look back now at how deluded and ill I was. Its like an out of body experience when you realise that isnt you anymore

Its all about self reinforcement until your mind is strong that gambling is a waste of time and money. When thoughts rise up you will lay them to rest quickly because you have a much healthier mind. They wont be urges...mainly confusion of did that really happen and what were you thinking

The main aim is a serenity or peace with yourself.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum