Need to sort my life out!!

Hey ive recently come to terms with my slots addiction onljne games ive played them all you do win big that's true but in the end u will lose as us compulsive gamblers do not know when to stop.its only been 2weeks since I went to my first ga meeting.before hand I couldn't understand how going and talking with other gamblers could help but oh how wrong I was.4 meetings in and I feel 100 times better and no gambling for 2 weeks.do u knw where ure local meeting is?

No I don't know where there's any ga meetings...too scared to go for 2 reasons...one my partner will find out and two I work in a local bank & scared I will bump into a customer . I see people talking on here about doin a diary which I would like to do as think that would benefit me. I'm so frustrated as good at my job and have opportunity to do full time so could repay my debts quicker but would then have to pay 800 for childcare. Plus working more hours will fill the gap I use to gamble. Thank u for replying x

Well done for your 2 weeks x

Thanks:)

Are your debts manageable? Will ure partner not find out anyway with u struggling or do they have no idea?. I do understand it's the hardest thing to do but have u told anyone close to u as I really was dreading it but very suprised at reactions I got they were more proud of me for admitting it and willing to help encourage me to get along to the meetings now I honestly look forward to them.

Yeah I did an income and expense form with my debtors and if I Cld not gamble what I have left I wld b ok. Two of my friends know but they can't do anything to help apart from ask when I last played and of course I lie. I did admit to my partner in April that I had spent all my wage on gambling...he wasn't angry he kind of laughed it off and then said just don't do it again...I secretly wanted him to check on me and make me show him my bank statements thinking that would help me...but clearly he trust me not to do it again but I always do...

I think you need to be honest with ure friends or they can't try and support u if they dnt know ure still struggling.i think the fact that you have already dropped in something about gambling to him is a good thing to be honest as at least he knows that u do.the first thing that I learnt at ga is that we are all gamblers and also all liars and that's hard to deal with but I think when I stopped being sneaky and covering things up stuff did get easier it's a huge weight off to knw ure not lying anymore and to knw at least ure going in the right direction

You have taken the first step - admitting it is a problem is the hardest thing to do. Its going to be hard but you CAN do it!!!!

Thank u Anderson & want2stop. Today is a struggle, can't wait 2 go work 2morra....to gamble doesn't cross my Mind when I'm at work as too busy. I do suppose my partner is aware that I have gambled so going in right direction but not quite ready to confess full extent. Yes we are liars....and worse thing is I think you get so good at covering it up you forget yourself you are really a liar x

Hi lady H

I was also addicted to online slots and bingo for 7 years I've only just recently completely stopped gambling and haven't played the slots in about 6months or so. If your serious about stopping and stopping for good, then you need to self exclude from every site you have open you should also tell them the reason for your self exclusion is because you have a problem gambiling. It's important you mention that otherwise they will only self exclude you for 6 months and after that you will be able to reopen your accounts. Many sites also have sister sites which are run by the same operator once you self exclude from one it will let self exclude you from them all. Be careful though and if you do relapse (hopefully you won't) some sites will still let you open and deposit even though you shouldn't be allowed them open, so make sure you read the t&cs properly, and as long as you have stated in your previous emails that you have a problem you should be protected and it will be their fault for letting you open an account. These sites will do anything to pass the blame and to just make money they are awful. Hopefully it won't come to that but the first few weeks really are the hardest if you get the urge to gamble then just come on here instead and just remind your self why you shouldn't gamble.

Good luck and let us know how you get on xx

Hi Lady H, I relate a lot to what you have said. When I was on maternity leave 7 years ago I was at one of the lowest points in my addiction too. I was bored and hated not being the bread winner anymore, so like you I gambled online. I had some good wins too, but this just encouraged me to gamble more. I had no choice but to tell my partner when after two months I had not paid rent and bills and needed help to get it sorted. He was very supportive and helped me stop and for a while I did. Then I lied and to this day he still does not know how much I lose. I feel sick with guilt, he works long long hours and I waste more in an hour than he earns. I am so selfish. When I have a good win I take the family on holiday, this has happened twice, but the truth is if I did not gamble I could probably afford to save for an annual holiday anyway and have all that time spare to do better things.

My friends also know I have a problem and like you when they ask I lie and they accept it.

I guess it's a good thing there is this site for us so we can be honest to someone, even if it is to strangers.....

Oh I failed!!! Sunday I deposited 10er n made 150, of course it all went back on. So angry with myself and embarrassed...should have come on here!!! Pay day next week...please don't let me be weak!! X

I'm back again. Really don't know what to do. I have deffo made myself sick with worry.

Every month is the same. When payday comes I promise myself I won't do it but by the end of the day , it might just b a tenner but it's lost to online bingo. Within the week I leave myself with about just enough money to scrape through the month. And of course then comes the payday loan.

I've really done it this month...the addiction has truly for me. I have about £70 left ...don't want to think about my brothers bday, Xmas, or fact ive just rang my mobile provider and lied to say I've have fraud on my account so can't pay my bill.

It's that bad the intimate side of my relationship has gone, my partner says in moody all the time & I shout at my son whenener he asks me to buy him something. I feel ive destroyed my family without them even knowing.

I'm sar here crying as I write this, wanting it all to end, worse thing is I keep thinking They will b better off without me, however ive recently had a MRI scan for a previous hearing problem which turned out to b nothing but have picked up something in my brain which I'm waiting to hear more about. This has made me realise I don't want to die but has made my addiction worse as want to make money for my future so I'd it is something serious I can provide for their future. Being in debt prior to my gambling also makes me want to try and win. I had everything in control when I worked more hours...didn't rwally gamble just odd night at bingo ...but boredom, debts, jealousy of money my friends have, wanting best for my family and most importantly me have caused this.

Haven't even got dressed 2day...but my plan is to pull myself together, cook a nice dinner for my family & write my partner a letter to explain what has happened. I love him so much & hope he understands. I really feel if he know the whole truth I will have someone there to help me stop. I have 2 friends who know...but not the full extent. One of them bailed me out when I went to far with my gambling before but I am paying her back very slowly

Currently owe...£15k approx via DMP (£1.5k to gambling)

£490 to my friend.

£105 rent

£300 payday loan

£90 phone bill

£150 loan

Futures not looking bright

Help xxx

Woke up yesterday feeling positive!! Didn't write that letter of course!! However jigged a few house bills around so I can get through this month & managed to pay £30 off the phone bill. Didn't gamble so feeling better!! Did my hair n makeup...partner deffo noticed lol & got out the house n visited my godson. Have realised of you can get out the house the urge weakens & just for that time I forget about my addiction xx

Hiya

I was also accessing slots through a very large bingo operator with at least 50 different sites that I am aware of . I emailed one of the sites and have self excluded from all of them I know there are many others but I have won at least one battle

Stay strong