Hi everyone ,
Just joined after admitting to myself I am a gambling addict.
every month for a while I’ve ended up with no money after playing the slots .
last night I literally played £50 a time till it was all gone !
As soon as it was all gone ( it was payday ) I thought how stupid I am and that yet again another month of struggling to feed myself and family .
this month is worse I’ve literally nothing left .
I hate how when I’m playing and I’m not winning anything I can’t stop, in the back of my mind it’s saying , this will be the last time I can’t be skint , the other part is saying no this is it you’ll get your money back . It’s so stupid . I don’t know why I’m playing just to chase my losses all the time .
I’ve told my bank I have an addiction . I self excluded my self on all the main sites . I am here to for support and hopefully I never have to go through the horrible feeling knowing you have a month of hardship yet again .
sorry if I waffled . I’m so ashamed of myself . I wish I could sleep till next month so I can start again and let my daughter look after my money .
Hello @mhwgqdobr4
Thank you for sharing your reflections and experiences here on our GamCare Forum.
You seem to be caught in a cycle of chasing losses where you feel that there is a chance to win back money to cover the money you have lost – and this pattern continues each time you gamble. This is a very common behaviour in gambling and can be what causes a trigger/urge to gamble even more. When you find yourself in this cycle, you can often experience high emotions which can often make it hard to make conscious decisions. Therefore, it is important you give yourself time to allow yourself to accept that you will lose money when you gamble and it's not always about winning, as well accepting that the money lost is something that is ultimately lost and the more you gamble to cover these losses, the more you may end up losing.
It seems that you are currently reflecting a lot on your gambling habits, your triggers and urges – this is a great start to help you understand your relationship with gambling and work on ways to prevent yourself from falling back into that continuous cycle. Whilst going through this, it sounds like you feel a lot of shame and guilt towards yourself and those you love around you. You are here now, and hopefully you find the support on here helpful to overcome this.
You mention about wishing to sleep till next month so you can start again – you have already started your recovery by joining us here and taking these proactive steps. Remember, recovery is ongoing, and things do not change overnight, it takes time and no matter how big or small change/progress you make it is all contributing to reaching your goal. If you’d like to talk to us, our Helpline is available 24/7 on 0808 8020 133 or you can use the live chat service (also available 24 hours a day). You can find out more details about these here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/ . We provide 1:1 support too which can be a valuable space for you to go through your triggers and work on understanding and breaking the gambling cycle/habit.
Samaritans can also support you at any time if you’re experiencing emotional distress: https://www.samaritans.org/ Phone: 116 123.
We hope you can continue to post about your journey here and the peer support is something that helps motivate you further!
Wishing you well,
Brielle
Forum Admin
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
