New guy - day one

Hi Gary 

It’s good that you’ve joined the site and can relate to people’s posts. It’s helped me tremendously. 

Also good that you’ve talked to your sister and handed over financial control to her.

Gamcare are open until midnight. I found it helpful when I spoke with them the other night and they can refer you for free counselling in person or telephone sessions.

Although  you wake up and it all comes flooding back remembering what you’ve done, at least when you go to sleep each night you can think it’s one more day that you haven’t gambled and you’re heading in the right direction.

Stay strong

Hi Gary,

Let me tell you the good news. You are blessed with a sense of humour. I'm absolutely convinces that if I couldn't laugh I would now be dust. It does help when you truly look into how blessed you really are, even when, like me, you suffer from chronic depression. Let me tell you a story. I worked at a hotel as a porter. We had a regular guest who was a high court judge. We worked out he was on a huge yearly wage and he was difficult getting us all to run around after him as he was a c*****e. I would imagine he would swap places with me, an unemployed degenerate as I have my health. Today I walked 15 miles along the Kent coast on a beautiful summer day. He can't walk. We all have incredible blessings that we take for granted. Did you know there are almost a billion people without clean water? Yes, I agree that none of this matters when you loathe yourself after another relapse but it does help. 

Advice. Get rid of your smartphone and buy a cheap mobile with no internet access. I haven't gambles online since I did that. I also bought Gamblock for my latpop after losing a few grand online in a week. Register for Gamban and self-exclude from the bookmakers in your town/city. Go to a GA meeting with an open mind. Most importantly is realising that as a compulsive gambler, no matter how much you win, you cannot win because you cannot stop. 

You can beat this. I really hope that for both of us.

Regards

Stuart

Dear @garyt ,

I am concerned to hear that you think your friends and family would be ‘better off with you gone’.  Everyone definitely still wants you to be here.  If you are feeling low or in a self-punishing mood it may not be best to isolate yourself but continue to reach out and talk to people. Even if you feel that they are ‘just thoughts’ at the moment, it cannot be very nice for you and I want you to be safe.

I am glad that you’ve come here, read the posts and you feel less alone. There is a very supportive community here and people find it is empowering and helpful to share and helpful to chart your journey on the Recovery Diaries section.

It is important to find ways to forgive yourself for the things you’ve done in the past. It is good to take responsibility but beating yourself up will unfortunately keep you in the low mood and the cycle of gambling. Make amends, right the wrong and feel proud that you have  taken action. Giving your cards to your sister and logging out of Apple pay is not low, it’s the right thing to do, and you should be proud that you’ve done it.  

Talking is definitely a good way to overcome the despair and we are here 8AM to Midnight 7 days a week, so please call the Helpline 0808 8020 133 or Netline for a one-to-one chat. We can advise on further strategies, discuss treatment options and maybe help you see things from a different perspective. I would also recommend that you make an appointment with your GP and to contact the Samaritans on 116123, they are available 24/7.

Well done for posting, this is day one GaryT. Take it from here.

Wishing you all the best,

Forum Admin

Ah tha you Stuart. That was amazing to read. 

I totally know what what you mean. Today for some reason I feel much more motivated. I’ve spent time with my family and after telling them everything g I feel like that was holding me back being ‘ me ‘ around them. Instead it was just lies all the time. 

In the wcheme of things it is a it is a trivial problem ( albeit ruin lives ) but one that can and will be fixed for both of us. I know for a fact that if we’re here together talking to each other and helping then it’s meant to be. Right now is day one of a new future. Thank you so much for the reply it means a lot 

thank you so much for the reply. It means a lot. It’s reiterating and reinforcing these structures and new systems that’s I need and this place is perfect. I love how everyone’s on the same bit but also how were all optimistic. Thank you for the info I appreciate that too 

Hi! 

Thank you you so much for taking time to reply. 

I guess my mood is defo just a mood. I wrote this whilst still pretty immediately after. After speaking to my family and opening up I really feel optimistic. I’m gutted the last five years of lies and no real life due to everything going on this is over but it’s either the last five or the next five too. I have nothing for the month but my mum said ‘ you’ll always have a roof over your head and food, but I draw the line at buying you cigarettes ‘ ?

my sister has been just as good. Messaging me with reassuring bits of advice. 

Its difficult and i think a lot of people are the same when the money is gone and you’ve spent it all it’s the easiest part. There’s no temptation. In my case anyway. But as soon as I’ve got a sore few quid it’s gone. I could literally of bought a whole new wardrobe with the money I’ve wasted instead I’m knocking about in the same pit of jeans from 2016. I feel so much better for having had you guys talking to me so here’s hoping to a good end to the year. Big love & thank you again 

Afternoon all,

Today my son has contacted me and asked for help with his online gambling. Self exclusion isn't working for him so does anyone have any recommendations for free blocking software for his phone. 

Hi Stuy,

GamBan are offering a free 12 month license for their gambling specific blocking software, it can go on up to 3 devices.    The product can be looked at on their website www.gamban.com  it also has information about the operating systems it works with etc.   The free software can be obtained with this link www.gamban.com/ngh.

We also advise registration (free) with GamStop to self exclude from multiple online gambling companies. www.gamstop.co.uk 

It is positive that your son is talking to you and reaching out for help, We are more than happy to support him. he can call us on our helpline 0808 8020 133 or via our Netline on our website.   We also support you and anyone else affected by gambling.

Best Wishes, 

Forum Admin