My partner has today told me he has been gambling for over a year and today lost ALOT of money in one hour. He’s told me this is what broke up his 12 years of marriage previously, he knows his mood has been low for a while which has effected our relationship and he doesn’t want history to repeat itself, he has given me control of his finances. I have never dealt with anything like this before, I know trust is broken and it won’t be easy but I love him & want to stand by him while he overcomes this which I think he can.
Any advice or an insight into what I should expect would be really appreciated.
Hi @caw91
It's good that he has been honest with you and handed over control of his finances. These are really positive steps. He could also self exclude from bookies that he uses and there is blocking software that he can download if he gambles online at all.
Make sure you protect your own finances. Living with a gambling addict can be hard and you need to look after your own wellbeing.
It is possible to recover from a gambling addiction and move on if he is fully committed. I wish you both well.
J
He said he’s already blocked the online option a few years ago but I didn’t know you could self exclude from bookies so thankyou for that.
I feel strong enough in myself to carry us both for a while, it’s encouraging to read people’s success stories on here, I believe he is committed enough but don’t want to seem naive, I can see how people relapse, lie to hide things & how difficult it must be.
Thankyou for your reply.
My wife stood by me when i was in trouble with gambling and now i have financial controls in place and am succeeding in recovery and things worked out. We have been married now for 37 years. I hope everything will work out for you and your partner. Giving a person a second chance and helping them overcome their addiction is a wonderful gift you can give and I hope all will end on a positive note.
So glad to hear everything worked out for you & you’re recovering.
It’s encouraging to hear success stories like this.
What support did your partner give you, or what did you need from her if you don’t mind me asking
That's easy. She took over all finances. My paycheck gets direct deposited into her checking account to which I no longer have access. She pays all the bills. The car and house are now in her name only, not joint. I have no credit or debit cards. I can not gamble because I have no money to gamble with (except if i get tips at work) and I am stopping gambling even with those small amounts. Best wishes.
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