New Member - First Post

Hi rafa

Unfortunately the bookie always wins in the end as no win for us is enough. Please do not try and win that money back you will end up losing more.by the sounds of it you have nearly broke even, don't beat yourself up about it. Try not to concentrate on the money lost. Open up to someone close to you about how your feeling or if your not ready have you called gamcare? You will need to put some blocks in place. Remember your not alone in this we have all been through the same awful anxious, guilt and depressive time. Have a look through the forum and take some advice from other people's diaries.that helped me alot. You will find so much help and support on here.

Bw

Wow, finally what i need some empathy and not sympathy thanks BW555. It is the most stupid thoughts as yousay ishould not beat myself up as i am even and maybe a tad up but all i keep thinking about is how on earth after months and months of slowly building a pot of profit i can lose it in 8 minutes. I have spoken to Gamcare and waiting for a call back re seeing a councillor. I used to wake up and have in my mind that although hard day ahead with work or kinds i would have a cheeky wageron tennis, golf, cricket etc that i could check up on thus making my day exciting.......i feel mad even writing like that but it is the sad truth to how i been feeling. Now, i wake up feeling empty, not wanting to work or be active as i feel bored and lack of excitement and i hate feeling like this i have amazing family that should complete me

Hi Rafa,

Welcome to the forum.

Personally, I would echo what BW said and maybe add that money is, pretty much, an irrelevant concept to a CG. It is merely a means by which we can feed the addiction and debt is a byproduct.

I know that I could win £20k tomorrow but it would be entirely irrelevant as, whether it took a day or a year, I'd lose the money again so really, what's the point? Fortunately it doesn't sound like you've done too much financial damage so far so draw a line under the money before you do but, more importantly, before it's no-longer money you're losing. Money is the easiest loss to deal with, trust me, there's plenty more than follows it.

You've done a great thing signing up here, there is loads of good advice but, for now, get some blocks in place and talk to someone.

Good Luck and all the best.

Phil

Thanks Phil. This is like a new lease of life am I allowed to post at anytime of day? Sometimes urges are worst when downtime or is there a limit? I have been reading lots of other posts and your words make sense total sense and I need to continue this momentum to make sure no regressions or chasing of losses etc

I used to feel exactly the same, could not wait for that moment I could quickly log into my gambling account, all I could think about was gambling. I'd feel irritated if I was interupted. Wanted to escape then id Come out in a daze. I didn't even realise how much I was addicted until I had stopped. And it completely floored me mentally. As with any addiction the withdrawal period is the worst. I couldn't believe what I'd done and the anxiety and guilt are the worst I still struggle with this every day. It is honestly not worth the pain to yourself. You need to stop before this becomes a bigger problem. You have done a great thing coming here to open up and asking for help. Do not hold onto that lost money, it's gone, you cannot win it back, and if you did, you would only hand it straight back. Good luck in your recovery. Keep us posted.

Bw

Thanks so much. It's 9.21pm UK time my wife flicking through channels says she wants to have early night and says I will be happy as their is tennis FA Cup football etc on. I am NOT happy because now I not betting on the outcomes it doesn't seem fun to watch sport anymore. .....how sad is that

Hi Rafa,

I know that feeling about football...however give it some time and you will come to realise you never really enjoyed watching football before. You only enjoy the buzz of wondering if your bed will come in.

I would be waiting for a certain amount of corners or goals in a half etc, i didn’t care about the game; it’s very sad really.

When I stopped before for over 2 years I fell in love with football all over again after a few months, actually watching it for what it is and not for some ridiculous bet.

I am not sure of your age etc but something I find great is to focus on fitness. Really through yourself into improving physically as the mental side comes too.

Us compulsive souls love a success and transformation your body etc is a great way to start, also as it is not a ‘quick fix’ it helps change the mindset from needing instant outcomes.

All the best

Thanks Fighter

I am mid 30''s in age. Right now feeling depressed because lots of sport in Australia tennis and cricket and last few weeks I have been going to bathroom during night checking scores switching on in morning checking up on my accumulators. I am now checking the scores thinking 'I would have won that' and it's like giving me a FOMO (fear of missing out ). Being able to actually speak openly like this is unbelievably therapeutic but I still feeling empty without my betting but this is now day number 3

I know that feeling too well on late night checking etc....especially when it used to involve the most random leagues just to get a fix, even if I knew virtually nothing about them!

Getting over the fear of missing out will come, unfortunately I think our brains are programmed to only think about the things we would when won instead of what we would of lost too as a way to offer some balance.

One way to try and view it is that it is only winning you would have then ultimately lost on the next, or next, or next bet as we have the inability to self control on this front.

Keep posting, as much as you need to. The first week is a big one especially if there is plenty of sport on. Good luck

Thanks so much

I went to GA and remember someone saying “Give it 3 months staying off betting , if it doesn’t improve your life then you are welcome to go back to your life of misery “ . I can see that you are still in the earliest stage and your brain is still trying to play tricks on you . After a couple of weeks you will see the benefit of stopping , not just financial but other areas of your life .

Thanks Vulture. I really struggling. I don't have big ego and I not too macho to admit I am so scared. I keep checking bloody scores thinking in my brain the prediction's I would have selected. I keep thinking back to my six minutes of madness and the 8,000 that frittered away and I struggling to hold together. Even worse because I work in sports everyone talks about it and results and form and I just don't want to hear about it as makes me want to log in redeposit but now the £200 wins seem irrelevant i keep having visions of betting 20,000 to win back my 8,000. Today, wife wanted to go for lunch with kids, this time last week I was winning so I said 'sure let's all go out for gourmet burgers' she asked me today and I just said let's stay in and chillax with jam sandwiches. It's like now I feel I need to save money and make changes. Mind is a rolercoaster this forum is a release because no one else would understand

You need to unplug yourself from the betting . Don’t look out for football scores . If you won big next week it will be all gone next week. Bit of a rubbish transaction to bet all of your money , win, lose it all again and go through the stress of it all, with nothing to show . From the outside looking in to a non CG it looks bananas ! Write the losses off in your head , tell yourself that’s it and move on

Hi Rafa

Just want to reiterate what Vulture said .. even if you won some, you’d think you were on a streak and would lose it all and more, and feel terrible again. You also might just lose straight away. You’re not alone ... 2 weeks ago today I lost £48k in less than an hour, telling myself to keep upping the stakes as my luck was bound to change. I’ve actually accepted though that even if I had won, i’d have lost the next time or time after. I feel almost lucky in that I lost so big ... it’s not like I can even try and get it back as would need huge stake. You’re in a similar position ... forget about the £8k ... I know it’s not easy, I haven’t forgotten mine and replaying the decisions that day in my head. What I won’t do though is make that hole any bigger. We all feel for you but don’t chase it ... try and see it as the price for a less stressful future. Stay strong and we can win by giving them no more of our money. Rich