Hi All
its about time i done something like this, its about time i come to terms that i have a problem. i have a good job, a loving partner and a nice house. and if i dont do something now i will loose it all. no one is aware of my problem nor do i want to disapoint them, nor do i want to admit to them about the money i have lost over the years. its my burden
my tickle is the casino, upon payday i will go while everyone is at work, so no one is aware of what im doing. i will tell myself a limit before entering, within 20 mins or so i am already at the cashier getting more money and just keep telling myself i will win it back, or it will be alright aslong as i dont go over this much. in not much time im at my utmost highest limit with only the bare basics left to pay the bills. left to get payday loans to get shopping and pretend that i havent done what i have done. there has been times where i have passed my limit and then needed the payday loans just to pay the rent. whilst in the casino i have no concept of money. i can gamble £200-£300 a spin and not blink about it. i get a sense of belonging in the casino. a sense of friendship. a sort of relief from what a disapointing life i have because of the gambling and wasting of money.
i have recently banned myself from the casino because i couldnt take it much longer. but now i have changed it to the bookies and the slots, thinking only £20-£20 wont hurt, never know i might win...only person who wins is the bookie. but 2-3 times a week and it sharpe adds up. i have now refused to go shopping on my own as i know i cant be trusted to go to the shop and back without popping in to the bookies. regardless of the amount of money in my wallet either i go out winning or i go out broke. theres no stopping it.
anyway thanks for the support and thanks having a place to vent.
Regards
Marc
Morning Marc and welcome to the forum :)) .
My vice was alway's the bookies , horses , dog's then the real problem began with the fobt machines ( roulette ) then the casino's when the hour's wouldn't allow me in the bookies .
To be honest it doesn't really matter what your Poison of choice is but just that it's progressive and will become totally unmanagable if you continue down this path .
3 yrs since my last bet and your opening post mirrors many I've seen on these pages , especially the part wher you say " It's my burden " and " No one is aware of my problem " ? .. While this is true it is your burden ,unfortunately in order to get a grip on reality and have any chance of stopping your cycle of destruction your gonna need all the help and support you can .
Gambling loves nothing better than you and it knowing your dirty little secret and most of all keeping it that way , it gives you an opportunity to pick up just where you left off when those urges strike , with little or no repercussion ? .
Many on here believed that they could get away with it but the truth is you need to admit everything to those who need to know , youv'e already stated that your struggling to control spending money on gambling so if your partner knows then they can take full financial control at least until you gain more self control , also check out Mixers thread at the top of the page as it will give you all the details for bookies self exclusion which may help ?.
Iv'e been around here now on and off for just over the 3yrs and those members which have had the longest time gamble free are the ones that have sat down and had the conversation with our loved one's that we really don't want to have , I'm not being harsh but honestry and transparency are two word's secret compulsive gamblers don't have in their vocabulary but will allow you to beat this if you embrace them :)) .
I wish you well buddy and I'll talk to you again soon
Alan
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