New Member - Trying to remain positive

Hi everyone, 

I don’t know where to start..but I suppose this is probably the best place

I am 26 years old, I have been gambling since I was 16 (dad would put the footy accas on at the weekend) it sort of builded up from there.

from working at 18, it’s been an on going issue. I would bet every last penny I had, even when I got paid weekly at 2am I would be waiting to deposit. I have borrowed money from friends, banks, (overdrafts etc) and personal loans. Accumulated to over 18 thousand pounds of debt. 

this has been an issue since I have been with my partner now for 8 years and engaged. We had our first baby this year and he is now doing great..gambling has been a huge factor and my partner is aware, I feel so bad for everything I have done in all those years. It got  very bad and got myself into debt with friends and family

i work 40 hours a week, especially working from home during covid brought the worst out of me, I would sit and work and have anything gambling related next to me as I thought it helps my day go quicker, but I realised that’s not the way to be.

I had signed up for gambstop I think it is called maybe 3-4 months ago? I found the courage one day before work to get up, call/text every person I owe money to, and sort payment plan, some where not happy as you could imagine. But 3 months from that altogether personal debt is now at 4G I am paying off chunks everyone month when paid. 
for the rest of the debt, 3 months ago (this took time) I entered an IVA and the debt I had up to 18Grand was reduced to 5 and I currently pay this back monthly for 5 years.

I believe now is the time to change, keep working as much as possible for me and my family. 

However, being truthful I have now resorted to asking friends and family to place bets for me which some have been doing and I send them the money. Most people got fed up of me asking and don’t want me doing it on there banks anymore. I sort of become happier when someone I ask to put a bet on for me and they tell me no, I hate it when I ask and they say yes or give me there account log in etc.

today, I have told the only 3 people that would do it for me my situation and now there is no way they will do it.

I am now on the road to recovery and today is my first day, I just hate how the world is just now, I can’t even watch TV withought seeing a betting advert, even going through social media, betting is everywhere.  I have some friends also, who are in my situation who I try help but how can I help when I still do what I tell them not to do, anyway today is my 1st day. I have no way of gambling.

I just feel I get easily triggered, wether it’s an advert or just watching sports in general.

I will focus again with work this week and spending time with my family who I love more than anything and sooner everything should get back to normal. I hate gambling with a passion, adverts make it out to be such a  fun thing, but they hide the real facts and what it does to people

hope everyone enjoys the last day of the weekend, I appreciate any feed back on my post I don’t normally open up to anyone so you can imagine how much I don’t want to post this right now but I have read all your other stories and I want to be able to resolve this situation and never, ever gamble again, and get it out my head.