ok frist off before i start my spelling is bad so im sorry for that, but i need to wrtie freely so that may mean lots of c**P spelling.
ok iv never told anyone before about my problem. it all started 4year ago when a mate sed shall well go to the casico before this point i had never beted in my life before.. at that point in my life i was working next door and i was working nights. because of this i found myself after ever shift poping next door and spending hours and hours playing. this soon became a problem and i found myself take money from the tips pot at work again steling is never something i had done before. i was starting to lose control. after a really bad night at work i then went and lost over 1000. that night i asked to speack to the manger of the casico and asked to bar myself for beting which i did. i spent about a week not beting and i felt ill i cant explain it but i need that fix. then i saw the slot game in the pub and started to play on that. i was working as a night porter and i was the only one at work from 12 till 9am. again this soon became a problem and i found myself spending allmost all of my shift playing. i would win the jackpot and just but it all back in. what made that worst was every wensday day the man came to empty the money from the slot and i would just sit while he counted out my money for his pocket, it felt so painfull to see but there was nuffin i could do or say. then after many weeks of doing this, i was on my shift and someone thur a brick thur the window i dont no why but thay did, and because of this my boss lookt at the cctv, what he found was me playing the slot every shift insted of working and therefore i lost my job. not good
what happend next was where it all went down hill. i applyed for an overdraft thur my bank of 3000 about 4days after lossing my job. i spend ever last penny of it in just under two days on a online site the same site im still playing. again this made me feel so ill. i didnt have money to eat or go out or do anything. i soon fell behide with my rent and was asked to move out. i spent around 8weeks sleeping on cofas at mates house etc. i lucky found a new job and my famliy gave me money to move to a new place. i was working hard and starting to feel good about myself again but the bug would not leave me alone so i kept playing online again and again.
fast farward to now 2015. last week i went thur my bank stetments to see how much i have spent online, i spent hours adding up the amount, when i saw what i had spent i was so sick i could no breth couldnt stop crying. just over 19000 in 4years and that just online. i know i have a problem and its makeing my life hell. im not eating right im not going out i dont see my mates anymore i dont do anything i just go to work and come home thats it. i just cant stop i won 15000 the over mouth and i spent it all that night insted of spining 1 i started spining 100 insted. siting here now writeing this i understand how F**g silly it is to keep doing this but when im playing its to me not money its just an amount and when that amounts gone its only then my brain kicks in and i understand what iv just done but by then its to late its all gone. when i win i dont really feel anything its odd. i feel so ill with this.
I dont no really why im writeing this because im not sure its going to help i know my problem is bad but i just cant stop. i need a new brain or something. i just dont no what todo anymore. in someway i guess its good to write this down becvause many one day my faimly will read it and understand where it started if thay ever find out.
iF you have read all that then thank you. i wish all of you good luck in stoping
hi nick im joe a CG , and i read every bit of your story and im really sorry to hear how bad things i got , you defo hit rock bottom your not even getting anything from gambling just misery and affecting your physical and mental health , you need to phoe gamecare and talk to a qualified councilor , its free , face to face sessions you need to find better things to do with your time and money , it seems to me you are gambling as a escape and its really not working as reality of life and the value of money will always come through , you say its only figures in your balance but why do we work all day , long shifts its for money in our pockets and enjoy life , you said you won 15000 , wow thats a great win such a shame you gave it back to the greedy f****s , your brain is programmed to gamble it releases endorphins so don,t be too harsh on yourself this forum has new members every day struggling and you say you had family helping , i think you need to give financial control to them for now and your right this is very hard to deal with by urself as loneliness breeds addiction
keep posting , do one day at time and grow , draw a line under your losses and see every day of not gambling like winning and try get buzz of that , don,t get me wrong bud im gambling still and struggling just wanted to say hey
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