new tonight and a complete mess!!

Ok - sorry to be harsh but maybe it's what you need.

STOP. Every single time you are about to bet ask yourself - what are the conquenses if I lose? Could this money be better spend supporting or helping my children? If I had a day left to live - would this be how I would be spending my money?

I know you can stop because you're here, I believe you will stop because you care about yourself and your children and that is way more important to you.

Fact: you will achieve NOTHING gambling. You'll achieve HAPPINESS with your kids.

Hi jazzy

I am a recovering CG.

Welcome to the forum.

It's good that you have told your partner and family. Once measures have been put in place to help you stop your gambling, they will be able to support you.

You will need to limit your access to money. Give financial control to your partner. Don't carry money with you, this increases your likelihood to gamble. If you gamble online, install a software blocker that doesn't allow you access to gambling sites.

Have you given any thought to attending GA meetings? I think this would be very beneficial to you. They are all fellow gamblers, just like you. They know better than anybody how you feel, and what you are going through. They will be able to offer you a lot of support and advice.

I also think that your partner should attend Gamanon meetings. They are meetings of partners or friends of the gambler. Both of you would benefit from his attending. He needs to be aware of the many pitfalls that he will face in helping you deal with the gambling problem. The 1st one is that he shouldn't be giving you money! He needs to understand that earning more money is not going to help anyone. Given enough time, if you have access to it, you will only gamble it away. Gamanon will be able to advise him of the measures he needs to take so he can help you recover.

If you are determined to stop gambling, you can. Don't treat the problem lightly. It will destroy your future if you don't respect the addiction and act accordingly.

Best wishes

..........

hi all thanks for the welcome and all your advise. So i am now on my second day of no gambling and to be honest i cant remember the last time i managed to go so long without gambling in the past five years. I feel its been the longest two days of my life!!! To say i am struggling would be a complete understatment! I am really agitated all the time but trying to keep it under control as its not my parntner or childrens fault that im feeling this way.I have found a local GA meeting thats held on Monday evenings and i will be atttending this even though i am scared and nevous i know its the best thing for me and my family. Just feel completley overwhelmed does this feeling ever go away??

The feeling does lesson yes but only with direct action against the situation you find yourself in. Great your going to a GA meeting tomorrow, i promise its not as scary as you think its going to be, go there with an open mind & a willingness to try new ideas & im sure it will serve you well. Which meeting are you going to?

Hi jazzy

No need to feel nervous. They are all "normal" people, who just like you and me, have a gambling problem. They will treat you well, and give you a lot of advice, support and encouragement. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.

As day@atime said, go in with an open mind, be honest if you do speak, and be willing to give it a go.

Best wishes

Hi all once again thank you for your advice and the reasurance about the GA meeting tommorow .So me and my partner had a chat he now has complete control over the finances and all online banking cash and bank cards.Blockers and account settings on my computer have been put in place too .Had a day out with the children at the park which was nice but i felt a bit out of place within the family circle and i also realised how much time i acutally did spend gambling and not with them! ...i feel i isolated myself from everyone and whats going on around me for such a long time its caused alot of damage with my childern and partner.But i am changing and i want too for all of us i just hope its not to late....so i am now looking at doing a daily plan to keep me busy and occupied which fingers crossed will help then off to the GA meeting tomorow evening my partner is going to take me there and meet me after just as a bit of support once again thanks for listening and the advice .

you need to cut off your access to money. I keep my card at work, I don't have access to it when i have any urges. I pu money on a gift card to buy groceries. I still have my car don me sometimes, but I am not on a big tilt like you.

Good luck