Hello all,my first post...have been reading on here loads and had a quick chat on chat...deffo helping...16 days clean now. Slots were my thing...one particular site....started by somobody at work 9 years ago telling me how much they had won on this site...previous to this, just odd go on lottery and bingo at working mans club. When I first started playing would deposit 20 quid 40p spins angry with myself if I lost...I'm a bargain hunter by nature and 20.00 quid was a lot to me then.....roll on a few years and the stakes got higher, recently being 2.50 a spin, won a few times and managed to bank 1k somtimes..of course given it alll back. Recently spinning on freeplay and getting amazing wins... the 04/04 was my stigmata.......had the most terrible day at work, hubby was at footy and I logged on...big massive mistake...got in my mind that I would win big as per the high stakes on free play. 7.50 spins...got up to around 8k....I just don't know what happened....I hate my job...must have got it in my head that I was gonna win enough to hand my notice in..cannot really remember...kind of trance or somthing like that..of course upped my spins to 30.00...gone chased it...so P'd of with myself and ended up £3.3k down...im not rich..2.2k of that was my dads money that he has in my bank (long story), Had to take out a loan to cover this loss..I can afford the repayments but thats not the point...why oh why did I not bank it..I'm not a greedy person..hard working class person. I am so angry with myself....I just cannot get it out of my head...angel/devil on shoulder, if I had banked it would have been a lovely summer....but really I know I would have given it back uping to the 30.00 quid spins...soooooooo stupid...i've self excluded myself from the site and never ever ever want to feel this S***e again...I have told no one...relationship with hubby is not the best and would finish us I think....How long will it be before I forgive myself and get a decent sleep? Thanks all and this is such a great site, thank god for it..
Welcome Teresa...I think we spoke in chat the other night..
I'd recommended you call the helpline for a chat. ..it's easier one to one love....the 16 days are great . .well done to you...fighting this addiction is hard work....even harder when you plan to do it alone....take a look at my diary if you've got a minute. ...you'll see I was adament I couldn't tell hubby...the main thing is ...you've realised you need to fight your addiction. ....keep posting love...it helps to get your feelings out ..x
thank you Loxxie for your support, will chat soon.. x
I'm the same Teresa. I won 5k on slots and gave them back every penny. Put it on 7.50 spins thinking my luck would come in and if it did then the money would solve everything​. Instead i lost it and ended up thinking I'd be better dead. IV not touched it for a week now xx
Loxxie wrote: Welcome Teresa...I think we spoke in chat the other night..
I'd recommended you call the helpline for a chat. ..it's easier one to one love....the 16 days are great . .well done to you...fighting this addiction is hard work....even harder when you plan to do it alone....take a look at my diary if you've got a minute. ...you'll see I was adament I couldn't tell hubby...the main thing is ...you've realised you need to fight your addiction. ....keep posting love...it helps to get your feelings out ..x
Hey Loxxie. Just read your diary laughed. Cried. Fab posts thank you x
I'm glad you enjoyed it hun. ..hope some bits helped as well ...keep up the fight hun x
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