Hi, my partner told me last night he had racked up around £40,000 of debt since May. He admitted he has a problem but i had absolutely no idea! I thought we were happy, we bought a house a year ago and have two kids 1 and 3yrs and decent jobs. I thought i knew him like the back of my hand but this has made everything seem like a lie. He thought i was going to leave him but i'm not, im just thinking about whether this is now going to blight our lives forever and will he ever really stop??
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear about your partner's gambling. It must have been tough for him to come clean to you. Well done on not leaving him. Together you will be able to work it out.
Take care
Hi Claire,
Gambling is nasty, it messes with our brain & encourages us to be manipulative to allow us to continue. It likes secrecy & now that it is out in the open, it will be easier for your partner to fight. It is a huge amount of debt but I get that it is the lies that have hurt you the most! He can't undo them but he has reached out & been honest rather than you finding out which would have been agonising for him especially if he thought you would walk. If it helps give you an idea: I turned my finances (varying accounts @ 4 banks, 4 further credit cards not linked to the banks plus 3 loans) over to my partner & he gave me pocket money (the shame of it), he face timed me @ random & he never ever bought into any plans that I made to control my gambling (thank goodness). It will sound harsh but you may need to look @ how you can protect your assets.
I have to believe that your partner can stop otherwise I cannot be positive about my own recovery but your support will be required. You have not mentioned how you intend to move forwards but you will be able to find a lot of guidance & support between these pages.
Stay strong & I will be rooting for you all - ODAAT
I have spent thousands upon thousands over the years, its difficult to put a figure on it but the real damage is the person I havebecome because of gambiling which is a sneaky, manipulative lyin person, hurting loved ones robing peter to pay paul sealing anything I have had of value to gamble including jewellery , phones, computers you name it I have stooped down their and done it . I have come clean to my partner and as much as I no I have hurt her she has still stood by me to help fight this I am determined to and get my life on track! I am glad you have stood by him and I if he wants to stop you can do it together. GOOD lUCK this forum has helped me and my partner get him involved and keep reading your self
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
