On the brink of divorce

My husband has always had debts we’ve been together 13 years now & married for 8. We have 2 children 7 & 10.

I was a high earner with good credit so all credit including the mortgage in my name and the agreement was he pay me a set amount each month to cover all outgoings & with the rest of his money (he’s also on a good wage) he pay off his debts, but he never did!

5 years ago I lost my high paid job & suspicion arouse around his finances & why in 8 years his financial position was no better. It then came to light he had a gambling problem, horses mainly.

We almost divorced at this point, I even spoke with my solicitor but he agreed to take out an IVA & stop gambling and we stayed together, I love him & wanted to trust him again.

In the meantime we’ve bought a camper van off his parents together, I paid my share out of savings & got a loan for him in my name to repay his share. Although monthly he now has more disposable income on almost 3 times my wage he still has no money & im struggling to cover everything on my small wage, the pressure is immense.

I’ve been worried he’s slipped back into his old way’s & recently discovered he’s gambling on lottery now & borrowing money off his parents behind my back also which I’m fuming about as they know his history & that he owes me money for the van loan.

I’m at my wits end, it’s making me ill with anxiety/worry & panic attacks & I’ve sent him to his parents to live as I don’t want to be near him right now. The kids miss our family unit though. Financially I’m better off without him, he will only communicate with me on text for past 2 weeks & im begging him to get help but he’s in denial. 

I really don’t want to give up on him but I feel I have no choices apart from put up & shut up or move on for my happiness.

Either way it will destroy the kids life’s so I don’t know which option is best 🤷🏼‍♀️