My husband has always had debts we’ve been together 13 years now & married for 8. We have 2 children 7 & 10.
I was a high earner with good credit so all credit including the mortgage in my name and the agreement was he pay me a set amount each month to cover all outgoings & with the rest of his money (he’s also on a good wage) he pay off his debts, but he never did!
5 years ago I lost my high paid job & suspicion arouse around his finances & why in 8 years his financial position was no better. It then came to light he had a gambling problem, horses mainly.
We almost divorced at this point, I even spoke with my solicitor but he agreed to take out an IVA & stop gambling and we stayed together, I love him & wanted to trust him again.
In the meantime we’ve bought a camper van off his parents together, I paid my share out of savings & got a loan for him in my name to repay his share. Although monthly he now has more disposable income on almost 3 times my wage he still has no money & im struggling to cover everything on my small wage, the pressure is immense.
I’ve been worried he’s slipped back into his old way’s & recently discovered he’s gambling on lottery now & borrowing money off his parents behind my back also which I’m fuming about as they know his history & that he owes me money for the van loan.
I’m at my wits end, it’s making me ill with anxiety/worry & panic attacks & I’ve sent him to his parents to live as I don’t want to be near him right now. The kids miss our family unit though. Financially I’m better off without him, he will only communicate with me on text for past 2 weeks & im begging him to get help but he’s in denial.
I really don’t want to give up on him but I feel I have no choices apart from put up & shut up or move on for my happiness.
Either way it will destroy the kids life’s so I don’t know which option is best 🤷🏼♀️
Hi firstly well done for all your pat actions you have been so patient I am no expert but one thing I do know is that time waits for no one every hour day week just flies by it’s too precious to waste
So as is usually the case on this forum it’s time for the big guns to come out every single tool controls and tough love other people will know far more than I do
It’s very tiring leads to stress and you will not be yourself until the process begins no more enabling in any way and by this pathway if you succeed then it will be a new start
@i7r9twun1f thank you for your reply it’s been very reassuring
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