One big mess

Hi Norman, don't feel too bad, you are not the first or the last to expeirence the effects of the gambling illness. It might be worth ascertaining factors which influence your gambling - perhaps getting a job that does not involve betting shops. After one or many more conscious efforts to stop, I am sure you can get through it if you're up for the battle and really want it. Stay positive.

Stay strong Norman, and keep going. You can do this.

Hello Norman,

It is good that you've joined the forum and introduced yourself here. If you like, you can also start a diary in the 'Recovery diaries' section, or join one of the challenge threads in the 'Overcoming' section, as that could make it easier for you to use forum regularly so you become familiar with other forum members and obtain more peer support.

You mentioned debt, so you might be interested in the free debt advice services listed on our links page:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/about-us/links-other-support-agencies

Have you spoken with your GP about your low mood? You're welcome to call us on 0808 8020 133 if you'd like to talk to us, we can help you to access free therapy sessions locally or online if you'd like professional support for your recovery.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Hi Norman and welcome to the forum :)).

Look it doesn't matter who you are or where you work this addiction really has no demographic , it's not choosy who it decides to take and the fact that you work in the industry nakes that even more obvious , were all walks of life on here just brought to gether by one common goal " To stop Gambling " and start living life to it's and our full potential :)) .

Firstly Kudos to you for coming on here to seek help as that's one of the most difficult steps to take , I remember my first day on here not sure why or what I was going to do but just that I had to do something to change , that was just over two yrs ago since my last bet and life's changed so much for the better in that short time as it will for you if your planning on sticking around andface this head on ? Thing's don't change overnight but then again we haven't just gambled overnight in order to end up this way have we but they will change for the better my friend :)).

The fobt's were my main problem and I can fully emathise with the way they make you feel the way they suck you in and the way they chew you up and spit you out and the highly addictve nature of the play :)).

Your not alone on the debt front either as many of us myself included have vast numbers alongside the carnage we cause , the money though can all be paid off over time it's the time we can never replace .

Have you confided in your partner or someone you can trust about your addiction ? I only ask as gambling loves secrecy and if it's not just yourself your accountable to then it has knowhere to hide anymore , I know you said you were out of work now so was that as a result of the gambling ? Sorry I'm not being nosey it's just your post was a bit vague as to how you ended up this way ? .

The thing is everything can be fixed , the debt the job front and relationships that may have broken down over time , but you need that gambling fog that we all experience to clear a little first before your able to get ahandle on it .

Just deal with what you need to deal with at the moment " Baby steps " are the way forward and one day at a time if you need .

There's ;lot's of tips available on here regarding making it difficult for yourself to gamble , obviously there's the self exclutions that your more than aware of but otherway's such as blocking software for online or restricting your access to gambling fund's , so if you need advice just ask or contact Gamcare who'll be glad tio answer :)).

I'm out for the evening now but if you want to talk leaver amsg and I'll speak witgh you again soon .

Try not to beat yourself up too much as what's done is done and it's about drawing a line under it and moving forward with a plan :))

Take care mate and all the best for now

Alan

Thanks for the comments.

I know this is familiar to everyone as we all supper from this but this is the first step i hope in making a positive recovery.

My partner is aware of most things, there is still some to talk over with but my mind is a mess at the minute.

Thursday evening was a very dark time in my life, im awaiting an emergency appointment tomorrow with my gp and have already started the process of finding local counselling organisation though gamcare. I'm looking towards gamblers anoyomous as well to see if there is any meetings i can attend in the near future.

I'm hoping in the next week or so i can sit down and try to explain everything to my partner and bed for forgiveness, she is action strong at the minute but i fear thats just a front for my benefit and i know she is hurting from all this. Thats what makes the guilt on my part all the worse.

I will make a diary and hope to keep it strictly good news.

In reply to Alan my job ended thursday night due to my gambling. I crossed a line i had avoided in 15 years and the consequences of that im still not sure what will happen. In hindsight i hope its the starting point, the line in the sand so to speak and in time although everything that happened on thursday will stay forever i hope i can use it as my rock bottom moment. I will be self excluding my self from every possible bookies in the area, and baby steps hopefully start with gp tomorrow

Hi Norman

You certainly aren't the first and won't be the last person that has worked in the industry and has a problem with gambling !! I would say if last Thursday was your rock bottom the only way is up but it won't be easy on this long and bumpy road. I would definitely recommend getting some councilling through Gamcare and also try and find your nearest GA meeting and get along to that as well as I found these both have helped me very much. On your partner front I would recommend you tell her everything and be open and honest with her and don't leave any skeletons in the cupboard as they say, as this is hard enough at this moment for her and will damage any chance you have of working things out should something come out at a later date.

Hope you can get sorted and just be open and honest something that doesn't come naturally to us gamblers.

All the Best

Darren

Hi again Norman .

Thank's for clarifying and I'm assuming it was maybe gambling at work or within your own firm , my uncle was a bookie with a couple of independant shops and I know that was quite frowned upon once upon a time .

I think that maybe instead of looking at it as a job loss , it may be a life gain if I'm honest ? , gamblings no easy thing to get a grip of but working in a gambling enviroment when suffering at the hands of this addiction would be incredibly difficult to maintain and maybe your change has started already ? .

As far as your partners concerned I would mirror the above comment and be as open and honest as you can , it's out now so you might as well have the difficult conversation we all have to face if we want to move forward and your partners help will be invaluable on the road ahead .

I think the gamcare councilling would be agreat idea as would GA if you feel the need , this place also offers some great camaraderie , with likeminded people supporting each other through the good and not so good times , it's also a great place to vent some of the anger and frustration we all feel at times .

Mate , I know your head must be spinning right now and your mind's just one thick pea soup of thought's whizzing around but thing's will improve for you as they have for me since giving up , the way I am now to a couple of years ago is indescribable and I arrived here feeling just as confused and dazed as you and not knowing which way to turn .

It will get better but the gambling has to stop for that change to start happening :)).

Look after yourself and I'll talk with you soon :))

Alan

Hi Norman,

Firstly, thaNk you for swinging by my diary. Secondly well done on taking the first steps to recovery, it is a horrible addiction but admitting you have a problem and wanting to stop are the first stages to breaking free of the hold it has over us.

You may have lost your job but I totally agree with Alan it will be a life gain as that environment will be impossible to be in with this illness. You now have a very real chance of beating it and living a life you can be proud of.

I wish you all the best in your recovery. Take care

Matt