Online slots

Hi Lucy & welcome to recovery 🙂

The bingo was my 1st love & I can completely sympathise with losing money there whilst people who pretend to be your friends look on, f1ngers crossed that you'll leave it before it pays out so that they can jump on it. Or have you turned into me, hoping & preying that they would be the ones to walk away penniless so that you could jump on & win all that lovely lolly? Sad truth is, none of us are winners...We cannot win because we cannot stop! It doesn't matter how much we 'win', it all goes back & more eventually 🙁 I see your mum helps with passwords...Does she gamble too? Mine does!

I don't envy you with the online addiction to boot, thankfully I was too much of a dinosaur to get to grips with that, although it wasn't for the want of trying that's for sure! Strangely, I don't get any of the VIP emails that others on here suffer from, probably coz I only ever deposited enough to get my free plays & never went back! I didn't lose enough to be important to them!

Great start self excluding to help get your gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle broken, can I suggest you add a blocker once done (K9 is free but GamCare can advise you on different paid versions).

Does hubby know, if not my best advice would be to tell him, don't let him find out by chance! It would be good to hand over control of the finances to him too if possible, takes a bit of the burden off of you...No money, no gamble & equally knowing that you will get busted if you do do something daft may just be all you need to make the right choice! None of this is fool proof if you are really determined but any barriers to buy you time when the urges strike are good investments!

I self excluded from the bingo halls, so turned my attention to the arcade shops then self excluding from there 'drove' me to the bookies (I shudder @ the thought of them now, what ever was a 'nice young lady' like me doing in a place like that?). Tried online & failed so just kept on driving, like Forest Gump only in a car, wasting precious gambling money on petrol.

Coming online to sites like this & reading the only way to 'get better' was to stop completely terrified me @ first but now, it's a relief & I treat it like an addiction...If I don't make the 1st bet, I don't die!

I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be with 3 children & it's probably well worth speaking to the advisors about getting yourself some counselling (it's free)? Gambling offers us a solution to life's stresses, promises us a better life for us & our loved ones but it's all lies, terrible painful lies that hurt us over & over instead of soothing us & making our lives better! It may not feel like it now, but life without gambling is so much better!

Well, if nothing else, that should help you sleep tonight 😉

Hope to hear how the exclusions went soon...Don't take any poo (can't say sh17, it's censored) from any that try & make it hard, threaten then with the gambling commission & I understand they'll get the message.

Great to have you on board. Time to reclaim your life - ODAAT

Thank you so much for reading my post and taking the time to reply. My other half does know but not the full amount he thinks £20 here and there not hundreds. My mum has gambled since I was young but only to bingo and play the machines here and there she's wasn't as bad as me but she has out the blue just stopped going now but I still have my partner in crime my sister...... We go to bingo together sit and play the machines and online but she's a lot more luckier than me but can lose. Over the years it's just getting worse. I lost a baby 9 yrs ago and my dad 6 yrs ago (he was only 60) and I was in am abusive relationship for 8 yrs and my friend ended up having an affair with my partner at the time and got pregnant........ I am now with an amazing man and have 3 lively children 8,4 and 6 months so why do I feel the need to gamble??? 🙁 I think it's Bordem mostly but I am getting to the stage I want to win but when I do I say il bank that in a minute but I don't and the money is gone....... I am 30 next month so I am aiming to not to be gambling by then 🙂

Oh, what a sad sad time you have had 🙁 I'm so sorry to hear about your baby & your dad, I have no words of strength but Lucy, you have come out the other side of a horrible place (not many women find the strength to leave their abusers), it's time to start being kind to you & stop living in fear! I don't think you gamble through boredom, I think you're just stuck in a vicious cycle having used it to cope for a long time! Have you had any bereavement counselling or any mental support for the torment you have been through?

The other stuff I can totally relate to...

I tried to get my now hubby (the Norvern Monkey or the NM as he is casually referred to on here) to try & help me when I was going it alone so had to admit to some level of destruction, just couldn't bring myself to 'break his heart' by telling him the exact amounts. I know now that was just Mr Gamble trying to protect his interests because as NM so dumbly pointed out when I (eventually came clean so I could hand over my finances &) casually suggested to him that had I not found recovery he might have left me maybe, "it's your money!" Now, obviously this isn't the same for everyone but it's only really us CG's that get hung up about the money side of business...The friends & family are hurt a lot more by the deceit & manipulation than anything else!

That's so cool that your Mum has stopped, maybe she realised that her £20 here & there was too much or maybe she couldn't face seeing you girls self destructing? Have you asked her? Would she not be a good person to confide in? Is your sister really any luckier when it boils down to it? I remember a couple of ladies from my yesteryear, egging each other on whilst trying to walk away @ the same time & certainly, I've been in the environment with Mum getting & giving handouts from the coin tray or plastic bucket! Don't know if your partner in crime will hold your hand on this journey but it's worth asking her! She may be hurting too.

If you're planning on sticking around here & it's an amazing place to be & to come to when you're feeling tempted, it may be worth starting a recovery diary. We may not be real friends but cyber ones can be just as great & besides, real friends don't behave the way yours did!

What a fantastic birthday present you are planning for yourself 🙂 Recovery is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Time to kick away the last of your cobwebs & really start living - ODAAT

Iv been free from my abusive relationship nearly 3 yrs and he is the father of 2 of my children but since we broke up with get along a lot better now than we did before. My other half has booked us all a holiday next yr for something to look forward to and I am already panicking that because of my gambling I am not going to be able to help pay it. This week alone Iv probably done over £400online and now I sit and think I could of put that on our family holiday. I just want to get back to enjoying my children and fiancГ© but as soon as I wake up if Iv money in my account I want to play online. I wouldn't say i am in debt but I do borrow off my sister of mum if Iv spent bill money or rent money so I just want to stop before it gets so badly out of control I have nothing. Iv now spent all my money and today is day 1 no gambling and looking forward. I even joined the gym to try stop myself gambling but gambling one and now not doing that. Thank you for finding the time to read my post 🙂

Hey. ..welcome...and youve done the first step coming here....
Online slots are a very slippery slope...I know !
So....don't risk anymore of your time...money...or soul on them...you've got through so much...sounds like a super chap by your side...and lots to look forward to....exclude from sites and get some blocks on the devices you use to play on....I use parental blocks From bb provider...works a treat. ..
Life will get worse if you continue down this route. ...I'm 130 odd days free from online slot addiction and beleive me....life's now sooo much better....it's not been easy....but then life's not....but with determination...and help you can do it....take one day at a time love...set yourself little goals....and slowly you will get there...don't give any more of you to those slots...take care xx

Hi Lucy and welcome to the forum. It's good that you've joined the forum, and I hope you've felt able to carry on through and self exclude from your online accounts. There's a lot more support you can get to help you stop. You could have a look at our website for ways to block gambling sites altogether: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software

We can also offer free counselling, to help you get to the bottom of why you're doing this, and we can point you in the direction of support groups such as Gamblers Anonymous, so you feel less alone with this.

Why not give us a call on the Helpline on 0808 8020 133? Or on the Netline if you prefer - there's a link at the top of every page of this site.

Take care

Forum Admin

Hi Lucy. There are a lot of similarities in your story that I identify with. This is day 2 for me of no gambling, online slots and bingo exclusively. My mum actually introduced me to it and she had a few big wins at the hall (£20k a couple of times) which was all whittled away, probably back on the bingo mostly. I too am at home all day although without children. I haven't lost a baby but my husband and I have been trying to have one for nearly 3yrs without any luck so I know deep down I am depressed because of that. You have taken the first step, like I did a couple of days ago and if you read other stories on here you will find many that have similar things. I've done my self exclusions and am setting up my blocking software tonight (my husband said he will do the password for me). This morning I felt pretty rough about the whole thing but as the day has gone on I am starting to think a bit clearer. I used to be such a determined person and I know that I can get that back and beat this. You can too. I handed over my credit card and transferred all money I had to my husband this morning. Taking away my ability has helped me feel more secure.....if I don't have the money, I can't waste it on gambling. Good luck with your recovery Lucy. I really do wish you every strength and look forward to reading your updates.

Thank you today is day 1 for me and I know I can't gamble today as I gambled all my money yesterday. I have self excluded all my online accounts and I have taken the bigger step of telling my other half my problem is bigger than he thought. He is such an amazing bloke he didn't moan or argue just said when he gets home from work we will sit and discuss it and how he can help me. Today Iv woken up feeling positive and putting focus on my children and my partner and building memories rather than me missing them grow up because I was sitting infront of a laptop or my phone all day. Just hope this positive attitude continues 🙂 thank you all for replying these posts really do help xx

Yes, good luck and well done for pitching up here. Draw strength from the recovery diaries and other posts. I too have problems with online slots but after using the forum to discourage me (and finally joining), I am now on Day 30 without touching the d**n things. I too have 3 beautiful kids and one of my aims is too have a bit more time with them without thinking about Mr G. One piece of advice is too forget the money - it's gone. Reconcile that with everything you will save in the coming months by staying off them!

Rich

I'd love to have that feeling of gamble free for a month and hopefully by my 30th birthday next month I will have that feeling 🙂

Reading people's posts really help me feel like I am not alone and this problem is real so I need to deal with it before It gets way out of hand xx

Online slots also was my real gambling nemesis.

It's important that quitting goals are achievable at first, even a day is an achievement for a compulsive gambler.

Also to have a goal such as a birthday or anniversary or a saving goal for a holiday is something that can spur someone on.

Every day not gambling is a day towards achieving those goals and eventually goals which now seem impossible will suddenly be possible.