Out of control

Change starts with you. If you do not want to change, then your situation won't. Not closing your last 2 accounts means that you do not want to change bad enough. Unfortunately we cannot do this for you. Please please sign up to gamstop. It is a life changer. Also look for the live support chat on this website and staff will give you lots of recommendations to help! Good luck.

your story is much like mine - I encourage you to speak to your spouse. I did and it helped greatly - felt like a burden off my shoulders, but most importantly you need to forgive yourself. I know it’s easier said than done and I’m not sure of your surrounding financial environment but gambling I’m convinced will NOT win it back - just more regrets and guilt. It’s not worth it. Good luck and stay strong. 

Welcome back Hiddenaddict,

I am really sorry to hear you’ve been going through such a difficult time, you are not alone in struggling with the lockdown and I am sad to read this has led to a return to gambling binges and with it a cycle of depression, abstinence and then more gambling. As many of our Forum users have reported, this can be a really difficult cycle to break, but you’ve taken a good step today in reaching out for some support.

It is a good sign that you have identified that you are using gambling as a coping mechanism, but as you have mentioned rather than helping you to cope it has led you to feel more depressed and therefore created more problems than it is solving.

It’s really promising to hear that you have a close family and a great set of friends, this network can form a great foundation for recovery. However, I am concerned that without further support your gambling addiction will start affecting those good relationships.

The good news is there is a lot of support available to you and we would like to be able to help you find healthier ways to cope with what you are going through. With this in mind I highly recommend you call one of our Advisers on our HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 or access our the support through our NetLine.

Please don’t feel alone in this.

Kind regards

ChrisK

Forum Admin

Hello,

Sorry to read about your struggles, you have come to the right place as we're all in this together. Take advantage of the excellent support that is on offer, it will be the best move you ever make.

All the best pal.

Si

Hi HA and Welcome

Your situation is very similar to how I related to gambling. However the binges get closer and closer together as the addiction progresses and the smaller amounts that you focus on to ease the pain are not actually a sign that you have any overall control.

Its interesting that you mention other substances because gambling is actually a drug addiction providing escape just like the others.

You have to start learning about this as a drug addiction because what you crave is the dopamine the adrenaline and the confused trance which numbs you out to the world.

What happens is you get overloaded with chemicals and emotions then your first tilt or red mist moment happens followed by others until you are completely tranced out and cant leave it until extinct of money.

You need help and a recovery to heal your mind. Your way of coping is harming you. Its a form of self harm and you mind is ill and delusional with it all. Oh youve got your little plan to win within a set amount but it doesnt work like that as you can really see

You are scared to shut it all down because you are addicted to various confusing trigger points including its all going to come right even bit by bit

IT ISNT! deep down you know this. I used to binge away thousands and I couldnt explain it afterwards. Its that dangerous. I was literally out of my mind  and thats very scary to think about now.

It should scare you and you need to stop with a full abstention

There is no shame in asking for help. You need to tell someone close because you need the reality check of trying to explain a gambling session to a normal non gambler. Do it because it will sound like a story of aliens and faeries to them

Its a reality check of how off it you are and you need even more regular reality checks 

How can i get through to you. I have money now for a good rainy day fund which will help as Im on furlough. My job will never be the same again and I will probably lose it but gambling was never the answer

Gambling is not the answer to the emptiness in your soul, your fears hopes and dreams

They have sold you a drug because they control the lifestyle it gives them. You are ignoring the odds for a fix

There is no shame in asking for help. It affects millionaires and they have gambled away more money than you can dream of ...get me?...its ultimately not about the money and you have to learn about its complex nature

You dont need it in your life and you can get control of your life back before its too late

Best wishes from everyone on the forum