Payday Loans/Big Wins bigger loses

Hi

Im kyle and this is my story.

I have been gambling since i was 18 on and off it used to be just for fun with a £10 or £20 in on roulette,I used it once in a while i was in college at the time and didn't really have much money even if i'd wanted too.I then stopped mainly cause i was doing other things but these last couple of years have been the roughest of my life.

My little brother won about £35,000 in the space of a few weeks a couple of years ago on online slots and this kind of started me thinking deep down well if he can do it so can i?

I started earning good money and had plenty for disposible i would then start putting in a hundred here and there which then accelearted over time i would be waiting up a t midnight on payday waiting for my money to go in and then be gambling within the hour i had a few big wins on modest stakes and always thought that the next spin would bring a fortune this spiraled over time i would be up sometimes multiple thousands of pounds have it pending withdrawal and then put it staright back in within a couple of hours with the intention of still having a £1,000 or so that would still be profit.

Ofcourse that would go aswell it was at that point i started to use credit cards and payday loans to fund my gambling addiction i had self excepted myself many times from dozens of bookmakers etc but i always found one,Initally i could afford them but as time went on i started maxing out and the cards and hand a list of payday loans the size of your arm.It was at that point i asked my parents for help and they did paying off about £4,000 of pay day debt which was almost all due to gambling i literally had more money going out than i had going in,It was humiliating to say the least and that should have been where it stopped but it didn't...

A few months after this i was back on again in the early days i would use my PC but when smartphones came around it became unbelievably easy to get credit and gamble within the space of a couple minutes chasing loses.then being in states whereby i could pay off what i'd borrow and still put it back in.

Then it happended i had a £10,000 win i was ecstatic and elated that my faith in my luck would turn and it did,I managed to withdraw it and then paid my parents back less than a month after i had borrowed the money so i was about 5500 up i paid off a few holidays and then for no particualr reason put in a £500 here and a £500 there then a thousand within a month or 2 i was right back where i had started to skint to go out no money to do anything.I had a few large pay checks at work but all of these went on payday loans debts.It then came to a breaking point in early febuary of this year whereby i was over £3500 in pay day loans again all extortionate,i begged and pleaded and my parents helped me out yet again and i took a vow i would be off it for good they reluctently agreed and said it was the very last time.

But it still hasn't stopped there i have managed to get myself about £1500 in pay loan debt with maxed out credit cards a 3rd time its at the point my i can't even get payday loans as ive defaulted due to having insufiecent funds .It has affected my mental state and i find it hard to sleep most nights having nothing to show for everything i have put in and feel empty and lost,Not knowing how im going to be able to pay for diesel for my car to go to work and even eat as i have spent every last penny trying to turn it around as just can't see a way out of it alls i have left is my girlfriend who is supportive but doesn't know the full extent of my problem.

Thanks for reading.

Kyle