Hi
im 28 and have had a fruit machine problem for last few years. What happens as just going for a pint after work or to chill out turns out to me literally doing 300 per hit on the fruities
This has been about 3 years of this probelm of which has got me into debt with payday loans and credit cards
I've admitted this to my missus at the weekend (of 2 years). Shes in absolute shock. Although we have no shared accounts or money etc, she feels that ive lied to her about my finances, that im a bad person and how can she trust me after this with always a doubt in the back of her mind. Im seriously petrified of losing her, especially as was planning to propose over the next year
Im going to attend a meeting if not this week then defaintely next (work is the vary as to what week). Ive also emailed debt assitance people
This is an issue where i cannot explain how humilated, degraded, disgusted and embaressed i am to suffer from. Im trying to explain to my missus how low this has made me but i dont think she truly can see
I'm scared of the next steps
any advice or previous expeirences to show im not the only one would be appreciated
Welcome to the Forum matkier1
It sounds like you have taken some positive steps in telling your partner and contacting the debt assistance people.
There are advisors on the GamCare freephone helpline 0808 80 20 133 and netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/netline they will be able to offer advice, information and emotional support and will be happy to listen so you can then maybe plan your 'next steps' Keep posting matkier1 we are here to help and support you.
Caroline
Hi and welcome to the forum.
FOBT slots became my downfall till as a family we had no money left and (like you) I came clean to my wife. A horrible feeling I agree but now time to move into recovery.
In no particular order.
Sorting.out your finances. I have a debt management plan with Stepchange who spoke to all my creditors and arranged suitable monthly payments to each. No more phone calls or letters threatening me with court proceedings etc. This is a big weight lifted - believe me.
Contact Gamcare above. You can get some counselling sessions free which can look into why you gamble. With me it was the sudden death of my wife some years previously.
Give up access to finances. Pass ALL cards to your other half. Give up access to regularly carrying cash. If you need something get your partner to give you cash and.provide a receipt.
Where do you gamble. Bookies / pubs / casinos then avoid and in the case of bookies self exclude.
If gambling.online download blocking software - get your partner to set a password that even she doesn't know.
Trust issues will take time but by getting away from gambling mode and into recovery mode it will gradually return. If you continue to gamble then she may/will leave you.
Does the above work?
Yes.
6 months ago I was in your position and took the above steps and 6 months later I am gamble free.
Am I fully recovered - no and I never will be. I have learned how to control urges and put barriers in place. IE - no cash means no gambling in bookies.
Most.importantly though be honest with her, ask her for help and together try to take things one day at a time.
Time to start your recovery.
Best wishes
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