Relaped badly was doing quite well

Hello mate,

I relapsed just like you. Few days I was top of the world, deposit for car, holidays money saved, car insurance saved in full. Just like that I lost it all plus more. Now I’m debt and in a bad place. Time will be the healer but we have to be strong enough to make the damage any worse

@jee95 its awful addiction just cant stop the funny thing i had no intention to gamble i got an unexpected bill to pay that got me stressed out i ended up gambling and actually had a good streak i just couldnt stop i wish i didnt do it and it took it all and my money ontop i ended up getting a loan as my mind couldnt think straight and lost the lot this seems to happen every time the funny thing is out of my 4 relapses i have won huge sum of money to begin with then ended up lossing that and my own money this has been my worst relapse i just cant believe what ive just done it like they robbed me point blank

@jee95 i dont understand i relapsed again i actually got nearly all loss back like always i carried on and came back home with the money i came with which i count myself lucky i was able to walk could have been alot worse im going to pay the debt to my friend and get this over and done with the temptation so strong, i feel like ive been scammed this whole time hope this is the end of it am sick n tired of it 

Hi

No matter when you last bet was keep going to meetings.

I did not think that I could stop gambling I thought that it controlled my life.

Each time I went back to gambling I started to understadn what my last emotional trigger was.

I did not beleive the people in the room when they quoted the date of their last bet I use to think yes sure.

The gambling addiction was on of the hardest addiction to get clean from.

My emotional triggers were my pains I could not or was unable to heal.

My emotional triggers were my fears I could not reduce or understand.

My emotional triggers were due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

My emotional triggers were my boredom I could not replace with healthy activities.

My emotional triggers were my feelings of loneliness and fears of emotional itnimacy.

I  got to understand that no one could stop me gambling except my self.

I am not aloner today.

I am more productive in my life today.

The therapies in the recovery room got me to come out of my shell and open up more.

As my fears reducede and the more therapies I gave my fears reduced and my trust grew.

I could not trust my self with money.

It was very hard to hand over our finances but I did it.

I got pocket money each day.

And in  time I could trust my self with small amounts of money.

Money would not heal my pains.

Money would not make me feel healthy in my self.

In understanding that Money represented how long I did work and then gave it away while I and my family went with out the needs in our life.

The addiction and my obsessions were a form of escaping from my feelings and my emotions.

Instead of reacting in unhealthy ways today I am able to interact with all people in healthy ways.

I told lies because I lived in so many fears.

I do not want to live in regret guilt and shame any more.

I want to heal my pains and learn from my past and no longer live in it.

Just for today I  do nto  want or need to gamble.

I have said that now for over 30 years and now understand that if I can do a healthy recovery any one can.

I have been in recovery since 1969 and some people ask if you have not gambled for so long why go to meetings each week.

In the meetings I get clarity in to what I need and want to do with my life today.

The recovery program is not a race.

It is how ever a very slow healing process.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

@tazman I was the exactly the same. I think why couldn’t I just walk away when I was in the best position. Greed takes over though and we want to keep playing, think we have it under control then next think you know, it’s all gone plus more. It will take me another 6-8 months to get back where I was just last week. 6/7 time this has happened to me. Everytime I think what was the point in that. This has to be the last, just hard work and less socialising now till then. My gf was fuming, only just got with her. This has to be my last time. Stay strong buddy 

@jee95 atleast your family knows about this illness my family doesnt believe its even an illness and even my best mate who lends me money is alittle understanding but doesnt believe it such a thing, i blame myself for doing it and if it the last loss i will take it on the chin, ive accepted responsibily i shouldnt have relapsed life throws the unexpected its how u deal with it that counts funny thing was this all started off at a measly £100 fine i recieved the stress caused me to gamble it scary how you can get yourself in a huge mess over petty things, im actually scared for the future it can get alot worse for me if i dont stop now i have already been rock bottom in the past and i still went back to it 

@tazman yeah it’s crazy and scary! I should be shopping this weekend for my holiday but instead Im working extra to get a bit more money. I will be like this for the next 6 months. It’s disgusting - we are making the future harder for ourselves over petty s**t when we actually have everything.

@jee95 it is i actually believed if i won alot of money i would quit i actually now believe it just wont happen i just want it to stop, i read a story off a women who lost alot of money and was in debt playing slots she won life changing on slot machines she carried on until she lost everything she went on to steal 60k from family this is what this addiction can do and their countless others who wouldnt need to work a day in their life are now in debt, its not entertainment is missery for people like us, they talk about laws to protect the vulnerable yet they entice big spenders as they know you are a profitable customer the question is how do u stop their should be more research done as it big problem in UK look at how many bookies they have in deprived areas where they are struggling financally these places prey on the vulnerable its all about profits and then you have places like cex cash gen close to bookies 

@jee95 i was just reading my loan agreement im actually shocked i only took 1k loan out they were offering me 10k loan i would have been in a right mess im thinking off taking off my overdraft facility only problem is i get charged nearly £20 if i go over my limit i had 1k limit i reduced it to £500 might have to reduce it lower just in case the funny thing is you get shafted gambling then the bank and loans kill u off financially either way you are screwed

Hi

Get to learn what was your last emotional triggers were.

Dave L

@gadaveuk my last trigger was a fine on train which caused me stress i wasent aware of the new regulations and i was told  wrong infomation i recieved a measly fine which i wasent aware off i was then made to pay double the fine as i didnt settle it within 21 days so they were going to follow court proceedings i then went on a gambling binge and started winning which i then paid the fine off but i could stop this has lasted nearly a month and ended up in debt for the first time in over a decade, i have just barred myself at the local casino as thing could have been far worse i read the post by another member which really resonates with me he actually won large sums of money after lossing thousands he actually was able to quit he may have lost in future as compulsive gambliers cannot quit after while he started having health problems he changed as a person and had to get rid of the money which he gave it all to charity his story has got me thinking as i follow the same religion as him i never really thought from a religion perspective so even if i gain am still at a loss and the little debt i have got myself into is a constant reminder i wish i knew this before

Ive been faffing about for a couple of weeks / months with it recently

Logging in depositing and either winning and withdrawing or logging into another site and chasing 

I have been going around in circles for weeks 

Friday won xxx , Saturday lost £100 , Sunday lost £150 this type of thing 

I logged on this morning and lost about 80 quid in the space of 8 mins and thought it was ridiculous

 enough was enough had genuinely had a gutsful of it ,

some of the live dealers and sites are very shady was on bet loser yesterday evening and it seemed like the dealer was swapping cards with slight of hand tricks and these tables are definitely monitored by some sort of algorithim that decides wether you win or dealer wins as there is at least 20 second delay on the live streams

the dealer knows who has won before the last card is dealt 

This morning I had two hands a blackjack and a 20 against a 10 dealer pulls a blackjack out of nowhere 

Dealer was laughing to herself so I typed I'm bored I am going to ban the account.....

she nearly flew out of her chair after I said that so it would seem some are on some sort of commission structure to keep players on tables and certainly if anyone is talking about excluding

I also often notice when I enter a table the dealer is playing with some sort of mouse device as if tracking my activity 

We are playing a rigged game there is no doubt in my mind 

I Stuck all the accounts on 6 week time outs that won't be long enough but it's long enough too knock some sense back into me and hopefully I can progress to longer periods of abstinence 

GL 

Hi mate enough is enough ive managed to self exclude from local casino and ive done moses barred myself from all the local bookies been taking £300 loses for the past week it could have been hell of alot worse for me i managed to get myself in a debt after a decade hopefully this is the last of the mess i have created not only financially but it been mental torture it sad existence 

@tazman It certainly is 

I don't bet big never really have done  a £50 stake would be about my limit and my of my accounts are capped off at £100 a day specifically to stop me from losing control 

but even at this level playing online for like 1-2 hours a day was starting to send me loopy because I am literally going around in circles and I know eventually I will hit a bad run and will get stuck In that cycle of chasing 

Its a decent adrenaline rush when you win , but when you lose it can become very irritating very quickly

I think that's how people lose control , you want the high of winning back at any cost and that is when the deposits and stakes go out of control and the financial chaos is inflicted 

I know people that will do anything between 8-15 hour sessions 

their entire lifestyle is gambling 

its a fascinating addiction