Hello..quite new to all of this really..
I had a problem in 2016 where I was getting day loans just to bet. I self excluded myself and only the ban was off a few months ago
Now i have gone into a deeper hole than I have before.. Thinking I could make extra money on side just so am able to do something special for my partner like go on holidays and pay for it all, I thought why not gamble a little I'm so much more knowledgeable now and won't chase the win like I used.
It started off with just an acca on the weekend for fun. Then I won big and that got me the rush.. Before I know it.. I lost about 10k+ worth of savings and I am now in debt of about 4k so some stupid loans I took thinkin I could win it back.. And literally living off my credit card that was nearly paid off and now nearly maxed out...
Even though I knew the damage it was doing to me I kept chasing and chasing so confidently. Ive been told by my partner that I got an addictive personalty.. Boy was she right. She is aware I gamble but not to this extent I'm too scared it will affect our relationship if I told her I know it would hurt her because I guess it's lying? . I just don't understand this side of me and how I let myself get to this point. I always keep thinking back and wish I could go back one month ago. Or back to a few days ago and just bet the opposite pick because that one bet could have won all my money back..
I'm just so disappointed in myself.
You must just stop gambling, you will never beat them.
ive tried it all, “just £10 per day I can easily win that”
i used to believe it, and did it for days n days till I got greedy and guess what? Yep , you know.
reinvent ya life, draw the line and above all else stop digging,it works believe me.
See above.
STOP.
get blocks in place, move forward. What's gone is gone. The future is yours to make.
See above again. 😉
Hi
When I walked in to recovery program I did not know how unhealthy I was.
I use to think that gambling controlled my life.
The simple fact I was just emotionally vulnerable and use to escape in my fears from people life and situation I could not cope with emotionally.
When I walked in to the recovery program I did not know how much I was hurting myself.
On entering the recovery program I did not know what to think.
I use to fear the postman.
I use to fear the telephone ringing.
I use to fear strangers coming to our front door.
The recovery program was going to help me heal from the pains of my past.
The recovery program was going to help me work as a team with like minded people who wanted to live healthy lives.
The recovery program was not going to stop me gambling that would be my own choice, it would be a conscious decision to no longer cause myself self abuse any more.
The recovery program was going to help me not be afraid of being honest.
The recovery program was going to help me become more accountable to myself.
The recovery program was going to help me understand when I am emotionally vulnerable, to talk about it, to make a telephone call.
The recovery program was going to help me ask for help, help me communicate in healthy ways.
Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.
The first thing is to do which was healthy was abstain from one an unhealthy habit one at a time.
The second thing is to do which was healthy was hand over my finances, I could not trust myself with money.
Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA
Dave of Beckenham
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