After almost 20 years of gambling. Enough is enough.
Over the last 2 years alone, I've blown inheritance money received after my amazing Mum lost her battle with cancer a few years back. I don't have a single penny of it left and needless to say, I absolutely hate myself for it.Â
I'm currently stuck in Vietnam with my girlfriend with no money in our bank accounts because I gambled away all of it. We have no way of getting home at the moment but I'm hoping that will change with some help from my girlfriends and my family.Â
I've just informed my girlfriend about everything that I have lost, I've also got in touch with many friends and family to let them know what has happened also. They weren't easy messages to write but I feel better because of it.Â
Over the weekend I had many suicidal thoughts but after thinking about the hurt and distress that it would cause to my loved ones, I managed to see some sense.
There was actually a point during the last year where I won a football accumulator that got my bank balance back up , but because it wasn't back to what I started with, I obviously had to keep gambling until I got there. Did I get there? Of course I didn't, I blew the lot thinking that I was gonna get that big win that I craved so badly.Â
On top of that, due to my location outside of the UK over the last two years. I had to use a VPN to makes the bookies think that I was in the UK and I had to forge documents just to make the bookies think that I had wages coming into my bank acc (which I didn't) so that they'd let me continue making huge losses.Â
Now with no money to my name, I have to start from scratch and build a future with my gf again. I'm lucky that she is standing by me, if I was her I would have jumped ship.Â
Rock bottom yesterday, 1 day of gambling free today. I know I have a long way to go and that it's going to be extremely tough but being on here and reading all of your messages gives me great strength and helps me knowing that I am not alone.Â
Thank you
RichardÂ
Hi Richard84
Welcome to the GamCare Forum and for sharing your post.
I am sorry you are going through a really tough time at the moment, you are not alone in the way gambling can occupy daily lives for people. There is plenty of support available to you and you have made a really positive step today by posting your story.
Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.
The majority of the time people have to reach rock bottom in order to face this addiction and only then they can start to make things right . There's lots of hope and lots of support and people's lives can improve so much each day gambling free. So take it one day at a time and you can get to where you want to be.Â
P.S Sorry but we do not include monetary winning amounts on posts so this has been taken out of your post.Â
All the best with your recovery and continue to use our forum , i'm sure that other users will read this and support / reply to your post.Â
Kirk
Forum AdminÂ
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Hi Richard you are currently experiencing what i call "panic stations" its a state most gamblers get in when they have exhausted all available funds and lines of credit
there are also usually some external factors which accumulate to cause the gambler to experience total meltdownÂ
This can sometimes be a tipping point into a recovery journey but more often than not it is just because there is literally no way to gamble anymore and life outside gambling has become unbearableÂ
I have been in this stage once or twice myself its not much funÂ
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Right now you will just need to focus on getting back to the UK there will no further opportunity to gamble
However it is when you get home and things begin to settle down the true test will come
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@forum-admin Thank you for your response Kirk and I'm sorry for not reading the guidelines about acceptable post content.Â
I'm already feeling a bit more positive from reading all of the support going around between everyone's posts on these forums.
One of my regrets is that I never came to this site sooner. Â
@givemethebuzz First of all, thank you very much for your reply.Â
Secondly, I think you're right regarding the true test. After all of the reading that I've been doing, it looks like the true test will come when life starts getting back to some form of normality and when I start earning money again and I'm back in an environment where there are more opportunities to gamble again. I'm not going to lie, I am very nervous about this stage.Â
I'd do anything to fast forward several months where I can say that I've managed a certain amount of days where I'm GF. If only it were that easy.Â
Yes indeed it is that last paragraph in your response you must focus on
Time is the great healer of everything but we cannot fast forward or rewind itÂ
Imagine how badly you want to be in the future free from gambling with money in the bank and then concentrate that desire into every day up until you reach that moment .
Â
@givemethebuzz with you on that there's nothing I want more to have money in the bank and find myself find me and never lose me againÂ
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