I've never really believed in heaven/hell the devil and all that stuff, but the say that Roulette is the devils game! All the numbers add up to 666!!! (add them up if you don't believe me!)
What I do know though is that whoever created roulette is up there with the people who created crack C*****e and heroin!
Roulette has almost took my life from me and I if I don't stop forever today I think it just might do it!! But some how I always go back to it! I would consider myself as a reasonably nice well educated person with a good job, nice family, friends and the most wonderful girlfriend. BUT for some reason I will risk all of that to place hundreds and thousands of pound on black or red or 0 or 17 or 34 or 15 or 16 or 2 or 23! Am I mental? some days I think so! Suicidal? some days yes! But what I really am is a GAMBLING ADDICT!!! I know this and have known this probably for the last 12 years.
Over the last twelve years I have lost thousands of pounds, my dignity, almost my life, my friends, my family, numerous girlfriends (but luckily not the current one- who's some how stood by me for for the last 4 years) And yet I go back to the one thing the caused all the pain/fear and despair in my life GAMBLING!
I am writing on this forum as I had managed to stop gambling since 26th OCTOBER 2007 until some time last month! I couldn't tell you that date because the last few weeks have turned back into a gambling haze, with the pain numbed by large ammounts of alcohol to forget the problem that has returned!!!
I need to chat with people who understand other than my family or girlfriend. So I thought I would write on this forum!!
I am hoping it will help, they say its good to talk or in this case write!!!
Tuesday 24th JUNE 2008 I came clean and told my mum that I had gone back to the gambling. She understood but of course she can not stop me going back to it again.
I have always gambled throughout my life. From the machines in the arcade at the seaside to the fruit machines in pubs!!!
And then came the casino and the devils game!!! ROULETTE!!! How I hate that word ROULETTE!!! But that was it!!!
Approximately 10 years ago my parents bailed me out for £5000 that I was in debt from losing on roulette in a casino.
I thought I had tackled the problem and that it was just something that happened in my youth and I would move on!!!
But then one day I walked into a betting shop to put just a pound on a football game and there were these new interesting machines. These machines allowed you to play roulette in a betting shop!!! Gone was the membership to a casino having to actually give your ID name address etc. Now you could just walk in off the street and lose thousands and lose thousands I did.
Because now I had a good job and getting credit cards, loans overdrafts was not a problem! So *** ***, *********, ***, ******* and all the others whos names I cant recal saw me coming and let me play until I had nothing left! And in OCTOBER 2005! I was in ВЈ80,000 un secured debt!!! No mortgage on a house, just un secured debt!! Ok I earned £30,000 a year but at that point all my wages went to servicing my gambling debts. I would live off credit cards!!!
It all came out in OCT 05 to my family and girlfriend, who tried to help me and I was doing fine paying things back and trying to stop!! But behind their backs I never really stopped and again I was back in ***, ********* and the rest!! and then OCTOBER 2007 I again came clean and although I had managed to pay off ВЈ25,000 in two years I had then blown about £13,000 in the months of Sept/Oct 2007!!!!!!!!!!!
And now I'm back again!!!
Now I've managed to pay a fair bit off and have come clean this time after only losing about £1000. But I know its time TO STOP FOREVER!!! Because if I don't I will die of this evil disease!!!! I CAN NOT LIVE WITH THIS CRUEL EVIL THING INSIDE ME!!!!!
I NEED TO LIVE IN HOPE THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE FREE. FREE OF SELF PITY, DEBT, AND THE URGE THAT I GET EVER SECOND EVER MINUTE EVER HOUR OF EVER DAY TO GAMBLE!!!!!! IF I DO NOT CHANGE IT WILL KILL ME!!!
BUT I KNOW I CAN CHANGE AND THAT I MUST!! WE ALL MUST!!
WE ALL MUST LIVE IN HOPE! THAT GOOD CHANGES CAN HAPPEN AND WE CAN ALL LIVE HAPPY LIVES!!!
AS DEEP DOWN WE ALL KNOW WE DESERVE TO AS WE ARE ALL GOOD PEOPLE DESPITE HOW THE LIKES OF ********* AND *********** HAVE MADE US FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I apologise if I have gone on a lot but I had a lot get off my chest. I hope that you can all help me and I can help you and that one day we can all be free!!!
Interesting read !!! But a scarily similarity to my situation. I got into around the same amount of debt, parents bailed me out, lost girl-friend ( but not the one I'm with now), all about the roulette wheel.. All about 8,30 and 11. If you pick 3 favourite numbers that are in the same place they must come in.....Yeh right, watch 23 and 36 come in every other spin.
I'm living on the gambling roller coaster but would like to get off the ride for good. To many ups and downs for my liking. I hadn't gambled for 6 months up until recently but am in exactly the same position as you. I've lost a small amount but if I don't stop now I know I'll end up rock bottom....AGAIN.
1st July 2008, new day, new start. It's all about momentum, keep the gambling-free period going and it'll build up momentum ( I'm telling this to myself too, I need my own advice). Tell people too, I've told all my mates I'm a reformed addict, I thought, f**k it, I may as well tell them. Then they will all ask wow!! how much did you spend on one spin? which is a question that really annoys me, I'm not bragging about how much I've lost, If I was stupid I wouldn't brag about how many GCSES I failed. But after the initial reaction all my mates have been amazing and I weirdly felt proud to be a reformed addict. So I'm putting the last week behind and getting back to that feeling, on the recovery road again, the road I don't mind telling people I'm on.
Good luck !!!
I am a believer in good and evil and roulette is truly evil.
I am on much lower earnings but I know it doesn't amtter those machines roulette especially online etc so accessible gets you addicted if you are vulnerable. They take everything you have.
Before we addicts finally reliase you cannot ein because the longer you play you will lose in the end whether days months years you will lose if you keep playing!!!
The edge is always with the casino and the machines mathematically and they know that just another big swiss.
I had no problem also until I gor addicted to roulette. had a relapse and sossled £300 down the drain online - once more roulette. I have had huge wins but they always get it back and more and now it will take years to recover.
I know this is a story but about the 666 thing I read the inventor of the roulette wheel centuries ago (a french geezer I think) was supposed to have done a pact with the devil! I suppose it sort of makes sense witht he evil it and other forms of gambling do and also as you say the numbers do add up to that sign I never realised til I read the article!!!
AWAYOUT
roulette addict is me. Have replied on other forums. Just a thought for others though. Do we all appreciate that the odds of losing aqt roulette in bookies is, as far as i know much greater than at a casino? The ball is NOT random at a bookies. It works on a FIXED ODDS basis. That is to say that the bookmaker has a certain profit that they will make on each spin. The machines are linked in groups of 4 up and down the country. 1 machine will win, the others in the group lose. The bookie gets his profit whatever % he needs. The ball is NOT random. We all have lived to be on the winning machine. I hope to keep off them. See what else the world offers. Be back later.
Hi Doom!
I have not become bakrupt yet I am 34 have no house only debt.
I must have gone through 40k in machines half was savings I feel a real idiot now but when you are addicted its hard to escape the cycle.
You say what next??? Like you I am still tempted to gamble because of the roulette addiction.
You must budget for each day and avoid gambling at all costs as you and I have already seen it is self-destructive!!!
AWAYOUT
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123 Losing,
Sorry to hear about your gambling yesterday but that was yesterday (and as bad as things are) today is a new day and a stand has to be made or the insanity will continue.
The definition of insanity in the dictionary is somethinglike....trying the same thing repeatedly but expecting a different result.
The end result of my gambling was always the same; MISERY,HEARTACHE,FINANCIAL DRAIN and that has been the story for the last 26 years and it will never change.
We dont have to fight this addiction that's what it wants. We must raise the white flag and surrender,accept that we have a problem and cannot win. I dont like it eaither but the money has gone and is never coming back.
Can you not give the responsibility of managing the money you will have to another person. This is something i never did (or did temporarily and then demanded it back when the desire to gamble became greater than to remain stopped) and has been at the core of my problem. I'm not saying it would have stopped me but my family would have benefitted from damage limitation.
If i continue to gamble my life will get progressively worse on a daily basis. If i stop gambling my life will start to get better on a daily basis.
If i'm honest my worst day not gambling during recovery was better than my best day when gambling.....as gambling is so false and delusional.
Best Wishes
Just for today i will not gamble
Hi there
I am a recovering gambler, and roulette was the thing that took over my life. I was very upset and depressed, really saw no way out...then I decided to call gamcare and it has turned my life around, as it will for you.
I was told about self exclusion, and excluded myself from the bookmakers that I was going to and decided to exclude myself.
Not been to those bookmakers for seven months, and although I am not fully over my addiction, self exclusion has really changed my life...I was going every day, and since self exclusion I have been only ten timesd, over 7 months, so although its not a perfect solution, it does work in the bookmakers that recognise you...
give it try
roulette is a real nitemare to me i just want to stop i hate myself for doing this but im out of control !! im gonna beat this as ive got a wonderful wife and child who i love so much but i just keep slipping up again and again its just not fair on them!! its cost me a small fortune and i just cant handle it any more !! i just wish that gambling was not invented or wat ever !! its good to hear im not the only one i want to do this for me and my family !!
cheers
I just want to say I am in exactly the same boat as regards roulette
My main losses includung another recent relapse are all due to roulette, firstly those FOBT and online. The online games are such a con. One day I spent £500 and had hardly hit a number on instant roulette where is the fun in that??
I even tried sayiong to the online casino, no entertainment or enjoyment was had from the game and was in debt because of it. Would they refund? No. Because, they are out to take us for every penny we have and get more in debt because of addiction!
My problem is I don't know why I keep going back to self destruction of roulette. Simple answer is addiction.
Just did ВЈ100 yesterday £10 left of overdraft now - yet again I say NEVER AGAIN. But I know the urges will probably strike again as I have relapsed so many times before.
Have lost ВЈ20k (all my savings) am similarly about £26k in debt now all due to online games especially roulette. Am in debt next ten years as I plan to pay this off honestly although things tight.
Plan to quit my old bank account in protest to the bank lending me so much money on a low wage, and forcing me into a debt consolidation profit of £10k . They are just as bad as the bookies lending out money so willy- nilly
Best wishes with eveyone seconds, minutes, hours, days months and years free from the curse of roulette in their lives.
I am back to day 1 recovery today after a month roulette free so plan at least 3 months next to recover and get stronger!!
Regards AWAY OUT
Today was a low point after spending mine and my girlfriends saved up euros for a holiday on the roulette wheel chasing loses thinking I will win eventually. Safe to say my girlfriend doesn't know what to do anymore, as of tomorrow it's time to push on and beat this horrible habit. The rush of winning can not out weigh the thought of being alone and broke for the rest of my life. Sick of hurting everyone close to me. Tomorrow will be day 1 of a long and slow path
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