Hello all. I'm 39 and have gambled since I was introduced to slot machines when I was 18. Gambling has blighted my life, Im forever in debt and really feel I have to stop now. I have always managed to hide my problem from everyone close to me although there are times they suspect, as I have a decent job with a comfortable salary yet I'm always pretty much broke a couple of days after payday every month.
I never win either. I read all the stories of people having big wins and spending it all back. I have no idea how I got so addicted as I can't seem to win a spin on the roulette machine and the FOBT slots just munchs through my money with very little back. Just done in £1100 in the last few days after getting paid last Friday. Luckily I have just managed to get a Credit card with a £500 limit so at least I can pay my rent at the end of the month and have a little money for food. No idea how I got accepted, I would have been screwed completely if I hadn;t got it.
The thing is, if I didnt gamble I would have almost £1000 after bills every month to dowith what I want. Its ridiculous that I have a coupe of payday loans as I shouldnt need them. Have already been through Debt Management plans to try and get back on my feet yet the moment I am free of them I fall back into the same routine. I just cant understand how I have got myself into this mess again as if I just lived like a normal person I would be debt free within 4-5 months really quite easily.
Thanks for listening, needed to write this down somewhere.
Flame
Hi ,
Have you worked out the reasons behind your gambling?
Sounds like its not money motivated as your clearly aware that you would have plenty of money in the bank if you stayed away from it all
I think part of it is thinking that I must be due a big win soon. You hear and read all the time of others going into bookies with a tenner and walking out with thousands... Also I know I'm a chaser. If I lose 50 quid I have to get it back, this often is when I lose the plot and money seems to become meaningless till I have lrft the shop. Its the same online, money seems to lose all value when its on the top corner of a screen.
You know (or should do) that a big win would only make your addiction stronger. The most ive ever won was 800 quid (fobt). Felt on top of the world at the time ( saturday afternoon). It was all back where it had come frpm by the following saturday.
Excepting your a compulsive gambler who has no control is the first step in your recovery journey. A big win wont help you in the long run.
If you won 10,000 on the lottery / scratchcard cam you honestly say to yourself 'well i dont need to gamble now' . If you truely do have a gambling problem the only thing going through your mind would be the funds you have available to go on a proper gambling spree.
in summary i would say - forget about the losses youve had so far, you'll never ever get them back. Make the decission to draw a line under it all, put as many blocks in place as you can and enjoy recovery! Its certainly worth it!
Mark
Thanks for the comments, I am at my rawest right now because the losses are fresh in my memory. Have to somehow try to remember how I feel today whenever I'm tempted again. You're right a big win would probably make my addiction even stronger, will try my damndest to draw a line under all of this. Really dont want the rest of my life to be filled with days like today.
...........
So its been just over 10 days since my last gamble ans so far not so bad. Been trying to keep busy to keep my mind off the various forms of gambling that has been my downfall. The true test will come a week on Thursday night when my wages drop into my bank account. Done a couple of days overtime so I know it will be a fair few quid. Need to pay off a couple of payday loans but even then I should still be comfortable as long as I resist the urge to deposit money.
Keep going flame boy, top effort!!! When I first gave up (4months ago) I owed out silly bits of money to things, and I always used to chase quick wins trying to pay them "for free"......ultimately losing and it costing me double.....keep focusing on why you done the overtime, focus on the spare cash you will have, pay back those blood sucking payday lenders and chalk them off.....you should never need them again!!! And keep going, imagine what next months wages could bring when you don't even need to pay them leeches anything!! Buy yourself a slap up meal and pat yourself on the back because you are winning!!!
Its quite hard, was my hardest part of recovering so far, but I self excluded from all the local bookies....this has taken away the temptation and urges so so much, I would say 90% of my recovery has been helped purely by this! as you do get the odd wobble! I also installed blocking software on my devices!! In honesty I still get the odd urge, but know I can't go in and it gives the time to reflect on why you self excluded etc.....and it does get easier, I like you realised I could be debt free if I had a good 4-5 months and I can tell you it really is worth it, you never want to go back to it!!!
Keep on going!!
So payday has come, and I figure I have got this gambling addiction under control. Wrong. Have shut down all the sites I used to use, but then receive an e-mail from bet fair with a matching offer. I think what harm could a tenner do? That tenner just cost me £650 before I came to my sences, somehow, before I was away to deposit another 300 and got the site to temporily close the account for 90 days.
Can't quite believe I have done this again. Gutted. It has again proved to me I cant control myself once I start losing money. I HAVE to chase it.
I hate myself and this addiction.
I know it's little comfort but we've all been there and done the same matey. I did the exact same thing back in May: thought I had it under control, even got a little cocky about it. I got an email from a company I'd self-excluded from for a year EXACTLY 366 days later with the offer of a "free" £50 on their casino. I don't need to tell you the rest....
I believe passionately in taking responsibility for my own actions, but this sort of legalized dope-dealing really isn't fair. Analogious of opening up an "all you can drink" free bar next to an AA meeting, etc... It's so wrong.
At least you've realised that it's an issue for you, so maybe write down on the back of photo that means something to you all you're feeling right now, and keep it in your wallet so the next time you forget how it is and are tempted to try a cheeky tenner you can look at the photo and read what you wrote in this moment of raw pain/frustration?
Keep strong, respect to you.
M
Hi, Flameboy,
Harsh reality: You need to hand over full control of your finances to your OH or whoever, otherwise the same thing will happen each payday. Willpower alone won't do it. And get help from GA or counselling.
Good luck.
CW
Hi Flameboy
My problem is also payday, last month even blew my rent and council tax bills, as other poster have alluded it isn,t the amount of money. Lets face it if i was given £10,000 to wipe out my debts i,d be tempted to win that bit extra and end up with none left. I wish you well in your battle and maybe do as i have done and actually get rid of my debit card, i now have to go to the bank to physically get cash out providing a passport/ driving licence as identity. Bit extreme i realise but i have had to do it for my own good, and given my nearest branch is 4 miles away it is working a treat for me.
So have got rid of my debit card and replaced it with a basic cash card so I can no longer make deposit after deposit on payday. Don't really have anyone I can hand my finances over to, drove my last girlfriend away after she became suspicious of where all my money went as I never seemed to have any. Was way too ashamed to admit my addiction to her and so what may have been the best relationship I will ever have bit the dust as she could never trust me.
Anyway, this is meant to be about being positive and moving on. Not had a gamble for a while and I really dont miss the feeling of losing every penny I have in a couple of minutes. Onwards...
Well done on the card and better still on not gambling. Sorry about the gf, is it too late to admit your problem to her?
CW
sonic boom wrote: You know (or should do) that a big win would only make your addiction stronger. The most ive ever won was 800 quid (fobt). Felt on top of the world at the time ( saturday afternoon). It was all back where it had come frpm by the following saturday. Excepting your a compulsive gambler who has no control is the first step in your recovery journey. A big win wont help you in the long run. If you won 10,000 on the lottery / scratchcard cam you honestly say to yourself 'well i dont need to gamble now' . If you truely do have a gambling problem the only thing going through your mind would be the funds you have available to go on a proper gambling spree. in summary i would say - forget about the losses youve had so far, you'll never ever get them back. Make the decission to draw a line under it all, put as many blocks in place as you can and enjoy recovery! Its certainly worth it! Mark
well said..truth
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