Warning: Just trying to get my feelings out there so don't expect anything useful to be written below.
Hey, just joined the forum right now, after another (what I consider to be) big sum of money just an hour ago at most. Texted my 'best friend' telling him I lost another sum of money, but to not talk about it or reply, just didn't want to keep it inside me. He called me and called me stupid so I hung up on him; decided to come to this forum instead.
I am 18 years old and started to gamble maybe 4 months ago or so. Started off with 2x tenners on two different websites as a promotion for a game (would earn credits in a game if I deposited on these websites - w*********l and galacasino). I made around 60 pounds profit and was over the moon, not necessarily because of the money, but the adrenaline really got me. I ended up losing it all shortly after but I was not upset with that at all because I thought I could make a lot more money if I deposited a bigger starting budget.
I am not the kind of person to feel sorry for myself, I think every action has a consequence and if you cannot handle the consequences of your actions, then you shouldn't have done it in the first place. For example, if I had won millions of pounds then I would probably not be on this forum and upset; so now I am kind of only disappointed with myself because of the consequence of my action, basically meaning that I took a risk and now I shouldn't cry about it because it didn't go my way.
I am also in love with brazillian jiu jitsu and all martials arts, I think this and my personality in general has made me a very stubborn person in the sense that I do not quit until I win. In BJJ you get in bad positions but through persistance you can always come out on top. So already you can see that this mentality is a pretty S****y one for gambling.
So anyway, after I lost these 2 tenners I started depositing more money on w*********l online live casino, and kept making a profit of about 20% of my deposit but then kept losing. Logic told me that if I put more money in and kept risking it all you'd have to win at the end, so if you keep putting in a larger sum of money then eventually you'd have to break even... forgot the name of this strategy but it is something I naturally done, didn't research it. By the way, the game I always played is blackjack. I had access to some money that mainly my brother sent me (I am studying and he looks after me real well, and has a fairly good income), and started losing that money too. I'd lose thousands of pounds every week. Eventually I burned through all the money and was broke af.
I stopped going out with my friends, mainly because we would do stuff that took a fair bit of money or shop at gucci etc and I didn't have the finances for it. My best friend always took me out for food and paid (he and 2 other close friends knew of what happened), but eventually when I kept blowing more and more money that I was receiving straight away he kind of gave up. I stopped going to university, don't know exactly how that was related but I didn't want to do anything. I stopped going to my combat sports lessons and stopped excercising. By this time I had long discovered online 'offline' casino, the one where you do not have a live dealer but it is the computer, and this allowed me to blow through a lot of money really quickly. I was sleeping a lot during the day because I could not sleep at night. I live with my friends and started staying in bed ALL the time. It was the most stressful time of my life and I could not enjoy anything. The gambling also lead to every other small problem in my life becoming magnified in my head and I grew away from my friends.
Obviously it did not happen so easily but I skipped some details and some did not come to mind as I am just writing away. To summarise, I dropped out of university, basically lost my friends, am never happy/cant enjoy anything, am broke, and THE WORST THING IS THAT I STILL KEEP GAMBLING AWAY MY MONEY WHEN IT COMES IN. At the moment I feel 100% sure that I am not going to gamble ever again but I have felt like this before and I keep falling back to gambling - and it is all my flipping fault, but I just couldnt stop once I started.
How do I get over my losses and get a life again. I feel like the more I gamble and chase my losses the deeper the hole I've dug for myself gets. I really don't know what to do, honestly, I am lost. I have seen some videos on youtube and read some posts about other people's struggles and it does make me feel better; not because other people have problems but the fact that I am not alone. People have lost a LOT more than I have (just saw this guy on youtube who lost like 55-57 million) but what I have lost is a LOT for me.
I lost in the low 100 thousands, maybe like 105-110 K. Am also a little bit in debt but that's not a massive problem and I have plenty of time to pay that, and it is interest free. Without getting my money back I could survive and live on, but like I said, the hole keeps getting deeper and I just can't get over the losses mentally.
Thanks, noone actually has to read a single sentence of this, just felt good to let out my feelings a bit because other than 3 friends noone knows about this and I can't talk to anybody else about this.
Peace out, already feel much better
You are clearly from a very fortunate background as I don’t know many 18 yr old students that are able to blow 100K + and shop in Gucci
However with a gambling addiction This is a double ended sword as I suspect your family probably has the resources to resolve all your financial issues in one blow however this also leaves you at risk to doing it all over again because you will not have learnt any lesson’s
My advice to you would be draw a line under it all now , you do not need to gamble for financial benefit you do not need to gamble for excitement
just enjoy your life
Hi flipup, Yes, gambling is not a sport or martial art and I think that your martial arts, if you imerse yourself, will heal and balance your energy/body/mind/spirit connection and satisfy your desire to excell. gambling like this really truely does mess with our heads, our psycho-emotional wellbeing, our physical health, our relationships etc. Change is something we can always count on. Opinions that other have don't matter at all. All that matters is that you refocus and do only what serves your greater good. drop the rest , now. As life goes on family and others will see that you have focused on other things and are strong. You sound strong. All the best! Life is precious and worth it. tara2
...also , compulsive gambling is an addiction so seeking help will help you to move away from this addiction with more conviction to not return. t2
Hi - please don't stop reading this because you are listening to a parent of a young gambler, not quite as young as you but nevertheless, young. I am not going to lecture you or tell you off but hopefully offer some support and advice.
First of all, look at the positives in your life - you are young, have the world at your feet and plenty of time to sort yourself out. You are obviously bright and there is still the opportunity to recoup that uni path or get a good career. You seem to be at a point financially where you can sort out your current financial mess. I think you are very probably capable of channeling your energy into planning a good future that does not include gambling. You sound very employable and should not need funding from gambling. The downside of being so comfortably off is that there is easy money available to gamble with and that is why gambling addiction can affect people in all walks of life. If you are keeping this a secret then try and tell your parents or someone close to you. Once the secret is out, it is a weight off your shoulders, it is much more difficult to gamble and ask someone to take over your finances which is also another deterrent. I know you can recoup your funds now but believe me if you carry on adding to the amounts there will come a point where your debts will become unmanageable. I must warn you that the pressure of coping with this addiction and coping with the money worries can make you hit rock bottom. I know that sounds hard but if you read many of the posts on here from people from all walks of life you will see what can possibly happen in the future. You are so young and it is heartbreaking when a young future is put at risk. So make today DAY 1 of not gambling, tick those Gfree days off, make a plan of things to help with your recovery, that will keep you busy: Ring Gamcare for some support and advice, make an action plan for your future career, look at counselling services. If you are depressed with it all talk to your GP. Above all try not to tackle this on your own. Also, be proud of yourself for taking the first step by coming on here. Take care.
Stay positive. U can relate to alot u say.
Hi flipup
Its about a born again moment of facing reality and going back to who you really are. You are into your martial arts so its a rub on rub off programme of back to basics.
There is no shame in admitting to the problem ads its certainly not a light problem you have had. Its a complex addiction based on stress depresssion and delusion. Its also based on seeking dopamine and adrenaline to make you feel anything above numb to the world.
Blackjack is no soft game and there is a guy who lost millions and just about avoided prison for compulsively playing that game. There is no soft option in gambling.
If you carry on gambling you will double those losses and downwards to new lows you havent even considered yet.
You get over losses by drawing a line under them. You simply have to because your mental heath has to be worth more than that.If you have any ideas of winning that back think again. You should now begin to see the reality of gambling
You need some pride and dignity back. Believe it or not that happens when you face people close to you and start a proper recovery.
Theres a slight denial I see there in that you say you can manage and its not too bad. That is quite a problem of losses and you will thank me for saying face it and talk to people like you are doing here.
You dont need gambling in your life. Learn about the addiction. Phone gamcare again and even go doctor for a chat. When I was gambling I was so wound up and ill I couldnt see the wood from the trees. The gambling dens have already taken your dignity and quality of life. Can you see that as its not a case of casually brushing this off any longer
Its the same addiction at all levels and doesnt matter if you have a gucci bag or not...it will take money fast and leaves people at their wits end
Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling of serenity and control. I hope you will start a proper recovery
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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